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Discuss New member in Welcome on Rear Party; Hi, I'm new, my gorgeous fella and I have been together 8 months. Its his b'day today and we won't see each, since we've been together it's the first 'significant' day that we have had ...
  1. #1
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2012

    New member


    I'm new, my gorgeous fella and I have been together 8 months. Its his b'day today and we won't see each, since we've been together it's the first 'significant' day that we have
    had and I know that there will be many more birthdays, xmas's and anniversarys that we won't be able to celebrate together, so I was wondering what tips you guys have to still make these days special. He says just knowing that I'm there for him makes it special enough for him but it's hard though isn't it....

    I'll have a nice cup of tea....

  2. #2
    Senior Member draegora's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Up North, for now
    Hi Katie, and welcome to the madhouse!

    I agree that separation on special days is hard, and while sometimes it's possible to send something to get to him on the day (or to you, from him), at at other times it just doesn't work out that way. And sometimes you have special days where you can't even contact each other. It could help to have a special time on the day where you both do something to mark the occasion, maybe (drinking comes to mind), but sometimes that's not practical either. The only thing for it then is to save it up and celebrate when you're together again, I think. And rather appreciate the days you do have together and make them special, rather than bemoaning the ones you don't ('significant' or otherwise). But that's just my tuppence-worth... don't know if it makes you feel any better! Do stick around though; you'll always get loads of support on here.

    And what's with the tea? Bar's definitely open by now, so I'll just go ahead and help myself to a double Malibu on ice. This heat is driving both me and baby mental - hope I at least sweat off a few pounds to make up for it!


  3. #3
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    hi, there are always going to be times like this,it's part of army life. write to him with plans for a "belated birthday date" for when he's home,a nice meal at home,it doesn't need to big expensive, this lifestyle is a huge,huge lesson in time being so precious. it sounds as though he loves you very much.

    another member aswered me in a thread,she had a dicta phone,she recorded herself chatting about her day, background noises of the family,the cat& maybe the washer going comforted her hubby - "normal" everyday sounds as well as your voice would be treasures.
    big hug,keep busy.

  4. #4
    Senior Member egieoh's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Mostly settled in our very first own home - in Germany!
    Hi and welcome to RP. Fairly new myself and 'offically' been together almost 5 months. Mr.A is up at Catterick doing basic training and since he left at the beginning of the month I have had my birthday and it is a few days until our 1 month wedding anniversary.

    It definitely teaches you to appreciate every moment you get with them. Whether it is a quick text, a letter, phonecall or cuddle - it is all appreciated that much more. My hubby has apologised for not sending me the teddy he bought for me for my b'day but frankly the text at 5:30am saying 'happy birthday my love xx' means so much more. Knowing that even though he is tired from training and adjusting and he still took those seconds to think of me... I could of cried! Lol.

    The advice of doing something to mark it at the same time on the day is nice. I like that. Just because you're not together it doesn't mean you can't celebrate it in some way. I am sure you will make up for the time apart when you do see your OH though and it will mean so much more

    And while the bar is open, mine is a bottle or 2 of Rosť for my emotional last week and hectic 'being in charge at work' week I have coming up!! Heehee

    Egieoh xxxx (aka Mrs.A)
    Last edited by egieoh; 19-08-2012 at 21:48. Reason: Mr.A's phone likes to incorrectly auto correct me!

  5. #5
    Senior Member Feisty one's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Hi and welcome

    Mines a large chilled white please, DIY done for the day so surfing time for me...

    For info, if you get a fruit cake, then you can send those just (as long as it's not huge) within weight limits and have a similar one for you so that you can both eat it together.

    My OH had Valentines, Christmas and a big birthday away on deployment, he got things sent to him for each one, he knew I was there and thinking about him, that's often the most important thing.

    But apart from that it's about making the time when you are together, and who says you can't celebrate that same event on a different day, when he's back, as has been said, it's about the time you make when you can, not the moments you are apart that count.
    Shit happens.... and in the forces, shit happens faster!

  6. #6
    Senior Member jenny's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Going to start packing soon for army accom
    I've done all the firsts since hubby left for training in sept wedding anniversary, kids birthdays, our birthdays and as our 5th wedding annerversary is 12 days after he starts at reg I'll be starting 2nd round as we got no house to move into yet and baby starts big school days after he leaves he has always came with me for other two but I've got use to doing it on my own now,
    We always FaceTime each other so at least we can see each other even of we can't be together as others have said you can still celebrate in other ways,

    I'm home alone as kids away with mum and dad and so nothing to get up for so bottle of vodka for me pls

  7. #7
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    the support here is so touching & a comfort. to be able to "talk" to others who've experience of it all has made such a difference.

  8. #8
    Moderator Army Families Federation's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Hi Katie,

    Hello and welcome from The AFF too!
    army families federation

    Tel: 01264 382324
    Email: [email protected]

  9. #9
    Moderator Gonzo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    With the lean green fighting machine
    Welcome to the asylum. Mine is a large whisky when the bar opens, my husband needs to go back to work NOW!!!!! I can't give you any better advice than previously stated.
    viros non paenitet

    "Wit is educated insolence."

  10. #10
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    I second Gonzo's motion, my OH needs to go back to Sandhurst soon, not sure who's going insane faster me or her! I remember my first RP post and saying I didn't seem to be finding it difficult but I was sure down the line the rough days would set in, well they have...anytime leave is longer than 5 days...I've discovered that's my limit!

    Large vino when the bar opens please!

  11. #11
    Senior Member lawlady's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    United Kingdom
    Hello and welcome
    Rank: Biddy 1st Class

    When the going gets tough - drink wine!!

  12. #12
    Senior Member Bonfire's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Hello and welcome...
    My hubby deployed 2 weeks ago - and today is his birthday... the first one we've been apart for since we got together.

    He's away for 6 months this time - the half of the year that all our special days fall in..... his birthday, our wedding anniversary, christmas, new year, valentines... and he's due back the day AFTER my birthday!!!

    All I can say is that the goodbyes don't get any easier, but to do learn to cope, and the relationship gets stronger and you feel more and more secure, the distance becomes less of a problem, and you will learn to cope in your own way.

    Just keep in contact as much as you can and be there for each other in whatever way works for you.

    Good luck and mine is a G&T! x

  13. #13
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Welcome to the site as bonfire says it never gets easier but you learn to cope !

    My oh is due to go for 8 months, believe he misses my 21st, Xmas, new year, anniversary, grandmas 70th, gpa and grandmas 50th wedding anaversary.

    Just celebrate its all when he's home and can afford to spoil you it gives them and you something to look forward to.

    You do get used to them not being around. But when they are back you actually appreciate each other and time together so much more, try bookies a little spa break away, man are Macho but love pampering just as much as us

  14. #14
    Senior Member Petal's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    All of this makes me think I'm lucky not to care too much about "special" days. I missed our anniversary last year, will be missing it this year (work commitments) and we never celebrate valentine's anyway. I'm grateful that I'll be working on my birthday next year when he'll be in Sandhurst though, as I live abroad from my family and will probably feel quite lonely that day...

    Missing out on celebrating his birthday is definitely going to be toughest one though!

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