Thread: awl help

hello

can somebody please help me.
my son as been in the army for 7 months now he is still training,he as just turned 18.on the 12th of sept his godfather shot his ex girlfriend in front of their children,then shot himself.my son felt bad that he couldnt be here when it happened.the funerals are this week,he only expected to be allowed to go to his godfathers funeral,well it appears not,the army said no.he is very upset and angry,these are people he as known all his life.well he now says he is comeing home anyway,but i am so worried for him,does anyone know what will happen to him id he does this,and i know he will.thanks

mardy x

He will be court martialled, probably fined or slung in Colly or both. We can't always have what we want in life and sometimes we have to accept that no means no. Can you imagine what would happen if everyone just walked on and off camp at will because that nasty man said no?

Dear Mardy

My sons 18+ and has just finished trade and driver training and is now with unit.
Sorry to say, the army make it very clear in the conditions of employment what family members deaths are considered for compassionate leave and it is basically immediate, close family only.
This will be of little comfort to you but I would think they would come down on him like the proverbial ton of bricks but you never know. I would do all I could to talk him out of going A.W.O.L.

Good luck
Barry

hello

i dont know what colly is.i understand what you are saying and i have tried to talk to him,it just seams harsh most of them have been given leave because their next lot of training is not till 15th oct.it seems the place he is at is not pleasent at all but he was warned about the place in basic training.but i dont understand anything about the army and the rhules of the bad men!!i think it is discusting that i have to die for him to get a day off.

colchester...army nick.

Can you imagine if everyone had a day off for various deaths? We wouldn't have a soldier left on camp. I know it may sound harsh, but common sense has to prevail.

"Colly" = Military Corrective Training Centre (MCTC), in Colchester. Where military personel who've been sentenced to be detained go. Please try to talk him out of going awol (absent without leave) because it will not end well.

god bossy you sound to harsh did you read my message its bad enough they are dead,never mind that he blew both their heads off with a shotgun.how do you think my boy feels.but i dont want him to be in trouble,he was a bugger before he went in the army and his godfather was so proud he changed and wouldnt want him to be in trouble.maybe i will tell him that if he rings me but he says he is doing his guard then coming home.

di

Mardy, call your sons CO and tell them what he intends to do.

If he goes AWOL he will be in serious trouble and it will be out of the hands of his CO.

Beebs x

Yes, i read your message. Unfortunately its a harsh world we live in.

betray my son?co?i have a letter with numbers 5 different ones wouldnt know who to speak to and i would still be gettin him in trouble

di

Mardy, I can understand it's a difficult situation you're in, esp when you're still grieving. However, I think you need to be cruel to be kind. If, as you say. that the Army has helped straighted your boy out, letting him leave under circumstances like this means he won't ever be able to return. Decide if you think that that is a risk you're willing to take and whether he'll be able to find something that he's happy with outside the army now, which he quite possibly can. But if he's really committed to an Army career unfortunately he has to play by their rules and his godfather isn't a blood relative, even though he's had a huge influence on him it seems. Best to calm your son down, rather than him doing anything hot-headed. Find out when he will be able to get leave and then make a decision. Good luck

Originally Posted by mardy

betray my son?co?i have a letter with numbers 5 different ones wouldnt know who to speak to and i would still be gettin him in trouble

di

Are you really saying you're asking for advice yet you're unwilling to act on it?

IF your son goes AWOL he WILL face a court marshall, IF found guilty he WILL face a prison sentence, IF the army decides after that time is served they don't want him he'll be dishonourably discharged, IF he's luck enough not to be discharged his record will carry that mark forever.

Betray him? Protect him. Call any of the numbers and speak to someone, call and ask to speak to the Padre or Family Liason, but call.

Beebs x

Di,

I know you don't like the replies you're getting but these people know what they're talking about and it will not be good for him to disappear from camp. He will not be doing himself any favours, I know its harsh to lose someone you love but there is a chance with any job that they will not give you the time off for a funeral.

Originally Posted by mardy

betray my son?co?i have a letter with numbers 5 different ones wouldnt know who to speak to and i would still be gettin him in trouble

di

Mardy without sounding too harsh (which isnt easy for me) just tell me WHERE you are betraying your son?? By contacting your son's unit you are informing them there is a potential problem with one of their guys - your son!! Your son might not thank you for it but it will be a whole lot LESS trouble than if he goes AWOL to attend the funerals. Do you really want the police coming round and banging on YOUR door looking for your son??

Have you also considered many that soldiers don't go back after being AWOL because they are scared of the trouble they are going to be in.

He may not be able to attend the funerals because he is on duty and as you said most others are on leave. Most units will try and accommodate funerals, even of close friends, where possible but at the end of the day if they have said NO then it's NO.

ok,gonna ring i dont mean to sound ungrateful fir advice its just i am so upset about the whole thing i have no one to turn to.it says oc,second in

command,ssm,sqn office

Originally Posted by mardy

ok,gonna ring i dont mean to sound ungrateful fir advice its just i am so upset about the whole thing i have no one to turn to.it says oc,second in

command,ssm,sqn office

Phone the Sqn Office they can put you in touch with any of the other people on your list. However, they can also give you the number of the Padre or Familiy Liaison (as Beebs suggested) if thats who you would feel happier talking to.

Before we all start screaming about court-martials, it depends in the first instance how long this chap is thinking about going AWOL for?

Why has he not been able to get a compassionate leave?

More importantly, why have you not made the approach to his OC or unit welfare officer pointing out how important it is for your family for him to attend?

Hi Mardy,

Im terribly sorry things are so difficult for you and your family at the moment.

Whilst a lot of advice that has been given is harsh, they are all 'could happen' and the very worst case scenarios.

I really do think YOU should contact his Unit, speak to the Welfare Officer or equivilant and find out what is going on. You have questions that need answered, I understand your boys desperation to get away to the funeral, but maybe his Unit don't, they may also have other things to take into consideration.

He is a young lad and clearly very distressed and emotive at the moment, someone other than yourself preferably from within his Unit needs to sit him down and have a chat and find out what is going on.

Mardy pick up the phone and call someone, calmly explain your concerns and ask what steps can be taken. You have some telephone numbers there use them.

Let us know how you get on.

hi

just wanted to thank every one for their help,i phoned and they were good seems he didnt tell them what had happened.the lady i got to speak to luckily said he was one of hers.very kindly said she would speak to her boss.seems he had spoke to a counciller and got really upset.they cant just let him off guard and he understood that.she said he as never been in any trouble and they would let him home on friday and given him a weeks leave.

di x

I really pleased to hear you got something sorted out Mardy.

Thank you for letting us know!!