Thread: New and feeling down

Hi folks
I managed to cope really well over Christmas - I met my man only a few weeks before he went out at the start of December. It's now that all the busy stuff is over that I'm struggling. I'm doing everything I should, keeping busy etc, but all I want to do is hug him. Every time I write a letter it's like we're chatting but then it feels worse.

Sorry for the moan, but no-one else understands!

Welcome to RP, it is hard when they go away, we are not quite halfway into a 6 monther and RnR is still weeks away! Still the ladies on he here offer good advice, not me I'm rubbish! The bar is open so pull up a stool, mine's a G&T! Moan away, we all have done at some stage for lots of different reasons!

Hiya,

Blimey, it must be hard going really, as you seem emotionally "there" with this guy already. Use the next month or so to focus yourself on you and your life. Your goals, aspirations or social life do not need to grind to a halt as you now met someone who has deployed. In actual fact, the reverse is true. Get yourself a routine and then expand on it, try something new, meet new people and basically fill your time while he is away.

If your relationship has any chance of survival you need to be more independent, more focused than any other type of relationship. It is the constant pressure of trying to be super-organised in an ever-changing environment that most find hard to deal with. Don't take any dates he gives you as gospel - write everything in pencil. Focus on seeing him during R and R, and then it is the final push toward the end of his deployment.

One thing I have to add, it is quite common to meet someone just before they deploy, in your case it was just a few weeks. Remember this person is still unknown to you so whatever you do, don't spend a fortune sending him things. He is earning good wages and everything he needs is available to him out there to buy. At the end of the day, would you meet someone in a nightclub who lived 50 miles from you and start sending them parcels? No. It is no different just because they are in green and overseas. Listen to the warning bells if he asks you to start spending money on him - he should not be. Other thing, don't send him any photos of you in undies, compromising positions or anything else. There is a pig board that all of these photos end up on.

That is an awful thing for you to read and believe me it is quite horrible to type, but it just needs to be said. I keep hearing stories of girls who meet squaddies before they deploy and then spend a fortune sending stuff during the deployment only to get dumped shortly after the bloke returns.

TLC x

ps: sorry about the lecture

Pay heed to TLC's advice - wise words, and the start of a relationship always feels great and it's fantastic that you are sticking it out, but you really do need to have a thick skin and a big streak of independence/can do attitude while he's away.

The more you do, the faster it goes, my time has been hectic and the last month has flown by, which is good, just not for the right reasons (family emergencies....) but without that I can cope view on life, it becomes so much harder.

Having said all that, we all have down days, the omg what next days, the I feel guilty because I've had a great day and not thought about him so much today, days.... and the actually, I got a call/letter/e-mail and feel fantastic days, we are all here to share it all.

So having said all that, welcome, mines a G&T please

Failing all that advice, I hear you lasses have a rabbit that cheers you up. You could always use that.

TLC is totally right, take her advice, as for the advice of Cabana.... can't deny he is not right either, just shame they can't give cuddles!

TLC & Cabana totally on the nose! (maybe not the right spot for the rabbit )

Gonzo, you are right, apparently that is where you are supposed to test them (apparently the shops don't like you testing them in the erm 'usual' way)...!!!!

Can only echo what's been said. Good luck xx