Thread: New to all of this!

Hey, my parter recommended I join this as he is off to HMS Raleigh on 29th January. We alrewady have a 2 year old and our son is due on teh 7th January!!!

Any advice on how I'm supposed to cope would be great!

x

Hi and welcome to RP. My OH went to Raleigh in May and is now almost finished his Phase 2 at Sultan.

We have an 8 year old, a 2 year old and one on the way. I'm not going to lie - it's been a nightmare at times but it's getting loads easier now.

Do you have family nearby that can help with the little ones?
xxx

Yes I'm very lucky that my parents only live over the road and his family are only half an hour away. Just the thought of the baby being late with only a 3 week time span between the due date and his entry date fills me with fear!! No pressure but this baby better be on time!!

How did your 2 year old adjust? Wondering hoe my lil lady is going to be as I can tell that she knows something is going on!x

He struggled at first cos he was literally only just 2 and didn't understand where his Dad had gone. He's not the easiest of children anyway though - he was at the stage where he couldn't talk and was just tantruming all the time so I think I would have struggled even if OH had been at home. He's loads better now and understands that Daddy is at work - when we went down to Raleigh for pass-out he seemed to suddenly understand so I would really recommend doing that if you can.

Definately want to go for pass-out, already bought some of the babys outfit lol Ruby was 2 in September and too clever for her own good! All of a sudden she has started asking where Daddy goes as soon as he leaves in the morning and yet when he is here its as if she doesnt want to get too close anymore because she knows he is going if that makes sense. I am dreading the first 10 weeks, they dont get any leave do they??

They don't get any leave but you will be able to speak to him pretty much every night. The first week and the last week are the hardest - it's surprising how quickly the middle bit actually goes. I think you'll probably find yourself keeping quite busy anyway It was a bit of a shock to my system cos I had to quit work when he went cos of childcare so it was really bad not having any adults to talk to - my family don't live nearby. Hopefully with your family being so close you'll find it easier x

Thankyou - I'm pretty sure the days will fly by with both the kiddies, but its the evenings I think I will struggle with. Although we are engaged so I could plan our wedding, although I dont even know when we will be able to do it due to leave - I probably wont know for a while yet either!

With reference to the pass-out parade, what is it like, and who can go? Is there a limit to people per person? xxx

Hi and welcome

I can't help with the training side but would recommend planning weddings/keeping evenings and weekends busy etc. it's those times that you miss them the most and good practice for when they are deployed..

My OH is RN although he's been in a fair few years now, but even after his time, he's talks positively about the service... however.... she's a hard mistress, it's far from a 9-5 job and it's not just deployments that he's away from home, there's courses/sea trials etc but, they get more leave than most, stay fitter than most and generally have can do attitudes....

You are likely to find it to be tough, but so will he, to start with, he may not realise it's hard for you to, but remember to take lots of pictures of your little ones as they grow, keep a note of the things they do and tell him about it (when you get his address and number) and he'll love you for it, even if he hasn't got time to respond, and feel free to have a moan etc on here when it all gets too much

*edit*

How could I be so remiss, thank you Whiterose for reminding me, I'll have a G and T please, with ice and a slice if you don't mind!

Hello there Miss Price and welcome to RP. My OH is RN but he's coming to the end of his career! Although I have another relative who's on his first ship after going through Raleigh a couple of years ago.

I'm afraid you need to get very used to the lonely evenings, the not being able to have contact, last minute changes to plans, the children wondering why daddy isn't home for Christmas... But that's Navy life! That said, you become extremely resilient quite quickly

I'll have a glass of white wine now the bar's open (tis the tradition here on RP).

Originally Posted by MissPrice87

Thankyou - I'm pretty sure the days will fly by with both the kiddies, but its the evenings I think I will struggle with. Although we are engaged so I could plan our wedding, although I dont even know when we will be able to do it due to leave - I probably wont know for a while yet either!

Same here - we're not going to know what's going on and where until he's done his SMQ which starts next month. I'm having to get to grips with not being able to plan which drives me flipping mental!

Originally Posted by MissPrice87

With reference to the pass-out parade, what is it like, and who can go? Is there a limit to people per person? xxx

OHs parade was brilliant - so glad I went. There didn't seem to be any limits and some people had 10 or more people there - as far as I know they just need to know in advance who is going for security reasons. You'll get a couple of letters from his DO over the 10 weeks keeping you up to date with what he's doing and you'll get all the info about the parade round about week 6 x

Originally Posted by squirrel_pigeon

Same here - we're not going to know what's going on and where until he's done his SMQ which starts next month. I'm having to get to grips with not being able to plan which drives me flipping mental!

I know that feeling already, my best friend is getting married in May and Im her bridesmaid, listening to her making all her plans and organising stuff is hard because I want to all of this stuff and cant!

Oh gosh Ive just thought, will he make her wedding? its on a Friday afternoon of his phase 2 training?

Hi and welcome. Im on my own (Dads away for few months) with a 9 month old and a large dog amongst other pets - plus a part time job. Drives me mad trying to cope but you learn to think out of the box and to take up offers from neighbours!!!! Anyway I'll have a small glass of red wine tonight please XX

Brandy Sour pls. Welcome to the mad house!

Originally Posted by MissPrice87

Oh gosh Ive just thought, will he make her wedding? its on a Friday afternoon of his phase 2 training?

There is a fair chance he will be able to do that - I know at Sultan they have been able to knock off by midday a few times but other bases might be different. Best thing he can do is speak to his DO the second he starts Phase 2 and see what happens.

Friday midday is the norm for RN, unless you are weekend duties/been put on extra work for misdemeanour's, it's their make amend/sports time, but not sure what the rules are in training places.

I do know that I changed my working hours to do my hours over 4.5 days a week so that we had Friday pm together as my OH is RN.