Thread: Hi, I'm New.

Hi folks,
I'm so glad I found this site. My OH is due to go to Sandhurst in the new year and wanted to ask some advice about the run up to the 'big day'. How much should we talk about it? What kind of things do I say? Stuff like that.

I am extremely proud of him and ready to support him the whole way through no matter how hard it gets for him there or us here, but I am finding it a little hard to know what to say to him with regards to our relation... Of course I want to keep it going and he knows that, I just don't want to say the wrong thing.

Any advice would be wonderful and so very appreciated!!

Hello, can't give you much advice for sandhurst but just wanted to say hello and welcome. Someone will be along soon who can answer the questions for you x

Hello and welcome. Somebody will be along soon who will be able to help with Sandhurst. There's loads of previous posts so have a good old nosey!!

Hi and welcome to RP. No advice on Sandhurst I'm afraid but didn't want to read & run x

Hi, my Sister's bloke did Sandhurst. I think he just came back speaking slightly more plummy lol. It you like elegant dresses, fine wine, hockey, polo and dinner dances (like my Sis) then I'm sure your will be fine. If you like to wear next to nothing neon stretchy disco tops, swill down lager, put your feet on the table in the pub flashing your pants and eat food generally like a thug, then you may find it a bit hard going. If you have a punk hair do and drink pints, and snort with laughter at blokes who are slightly wet (like me) then just find someone who is never going to Sandhurst lol.
ps mines a large glass of anything tonight please.

Hello! I know nothing about sandhurst but welcome to RP all the same!

Hi and welcome!
No clue about Sandhurst but others in he know will be along shortly!
What you do have to prepare for is that it will be hard (and this is only the start!) but things that are meant to be will be...it takes a certain kind of woman to put up with the **** the MOD dish out at us sometimes - but I wouldn't change it for anything! x

Hiya

Mine finishes Inters (the second of his three terms at Sandhurst) this week. Personally, I'd suggest you talk about it a lot now, while you can, because once he's there you won't be talking all that much. And that has nothing to do with whether he wants to talk to you or not - it's just the nature of the beast.

The first term is hideously tough, as in, they are kept stupidly busy for stupid amounts of hours 7 days a week, and the pace is relentless. They have no personal time, no personal space, and if he's coming from civvie street (it sounds as though he is) the culture shock is such an adjustment that it eats up whatever minutes he may have had spare otherwise. Oh, and mobile phone reception is shocking. So you can expect barely audible 2-minute calls at dogshit o'clock in the morning every other day, and that's if you're lucky. If I sound like I'm scare-mongering though - I'm not. I just wish someone had laid it out for me like this before he started - it may have made it easier if I'd known what to expect.

Before RMAS mine was Infantry, posted in Germany, so I was already used to the separation and (naively) figured it would be old hat for us... but boy was I wrong! OH and I both underestimated how gruelling the training would be and how much it would take out of him, both mentally and physically, and how little of him would be left for me. On the positive side, it gets easier during Inters, and it keeps getting easier. But don't misjudge Juniors... he'll be more tired than you knew a person could get, and as a consequence he'll be grumpy and demanding... and in addition, they get taught to speak in a very clipped and curt tone that, most probably, will sound very harsh, cold and unfriendly to you. If you can bite the bullet and ride it out though, you won't be disappointed. I promise, underneath it all, he's still the same guy, and when he starts getting enough sleep again you'll see the return of the guy you know and love.

Best advice I can offer you is to do a search on this forum, read all past posts on Sandhurst and start preparing yourself... as much as he has signed up for this and he's preparing for his intake, you need to realise that by committing to stay with him through this you are signing up for something big and life-changing too. He's going away to go and learn about leading men into battle. You get to stay at home and miss him, write him letters that never get answered (though you'll know that they build him up, sometimes when he needs it most), you get to be patient and understanding and caring and keep your emotions to yourself because you know he can't deal with your emotions too, you get to source and purchase items he needs last minute when he is unable to do so, and you get to watch him sleep like a dead man on the odd occasions that they let him come home (sometimes with hardly a word from him, because he fell asleep right after your car pulled off). And you get to put on a brave face through it all, because on the occasions that you crack and let your emotions out it causes such upset that you wish you'd just kept your mouth shut. If you can weather those storms and essentially 'wait' for him, you'll get your reward in the end. So hang in there, HF - if he's made it through Main Board you have good reason to be proud of him (and him getting through RMAS will simply give you more reasons), and although being with a guy in the Forces is tough sometimes, our guys are SO worth it!

But hey - maybe that's just my experience. Anyone else care to chip in and comment?

^^^^^^^^ good advice above!
No experience of the whole Sandhurst thing, but welcome.

Hi there and welcome - mines a red wine as I'm on a roll tonight and working 1 mile from where I'm living, not 50, so I get a huuuuge lie in tomorrow - hell yes!

I can't comment on Sandhurst, but life with someone in the forces is simple, yet complicated, your relationship has 3 in it, you, him and the forces (RN for me), commitments are made and broken, not by his choice, yet the moments you have together, if you and he are made for it, far out weigh the other times.

However, the life isn't for everyone.. but I wouldn't swop mine for the world, 6 months away, dodgy satellite reception, missed Christmas/Birthday/Valentine celebrations... all pale into insignificance when we are together.

My advice would be simple, don't get Jealous of the job, make the most of time together, don't give up your own life and communication is your lifeline, even if it feels one way at times.

Enjoy!

Hi there and welcome! There are a number of Sandhurst threads on RP so have a good nose around.

And as the rest haven't asked yet, mines a white wine on this dark and stormy night, please!

Thanks for the welcomes and advice.
My OH isn't totally coming from civvy street so I guess he's a little more prepared for what is to come then I am, which is all I want. I would rather him be more ready for it then me, even though I know I need to prepare myself. And I am so proud of him he has wanted to join for his whole life, most of which I have had the pleasure of being part of.

I do however still feel a little sick when I think of the first 6 weeks.

And just so I'm not left out mines a large glass of red, please!

Welcome to RP, Mines a Brandy Sour. Have a nose around, plenty of advice on a whole manner of things