Thread: Boyfriends in sandhurst....help!!

Hey all!

I'm a newbie and have just signed up, came across this site a few months back and thought i'd join up now my OH is at Sandhurst, for those times when I'm sure I will need advice!

He started in the September intake so the first 5 weeks are nearly over (woop!), it has been difficult and I've had my down days like everyone else but to be honest the run up to him leaving was much worse than these few weeks have been.

We had a similar conversation many months back about whether our relationship would survive, and if I'm honest I did have my doubts! My OH was worried he would be so busy that it would be tough to keep our relationship going, and I was hurt that he wasn't sure if it would! But after lots of talking, I realised it was just nerves talking, plus him hearing lots of scare stories from friends who's relationships hadn't lasted, and that was making him worry about ours. We both had some thinking time and realised we were being a bit pessimistic about it all! It's very easy to make decisions in the heat of the moment, and base them on things you think will happen, but you really don't know how things will be until you try!

We've been lucky, he gets his phone back after 10pm at night, and rings me on his bluetooth headset (god send!) while he's doing his kit. It's been a bit of a downer for him as Its back to learning the basics so he gets very bored and frustrated because he's done it all before, but all I can do is listen and I think it does him good to be able to vent a bit to someone on the 'outside world'.
I know through reading other posts that other people haven't been so lucky with regards to getting their phones, but they do get some time to write letters (although all my OH wants to do in his spare time is sleep!)

I don't have any friends or family in the military or know anyone who's been through this so it has been hard! (my bday tomorrow and he's on exercise boooo!)...but you make it work if you both want too! I know we have a long way to go yet but hopefully it'll all be worth it.

Anyway, not posted before so thought I'd give it a go, I'm sure I will be on here A LOT over the coming months!

My OH commissioned in 2007 and tbh I don't really remember his time at Sandbags. I was working so hard, as he was too and it flew by. When I saw him after the first 6 weeks it was like a different person; he had lost so much weight! Juniors certainly put a strain on our relationship but he had taken a dummy phone which got taken off him so he still had his actual mobile for sneaky midnight texts The hours are long and they don't get much time to themselves. If it's half an hour for lunch and your OH is at the back of the Q he may only get 2 mins to eat...Don't be surprised if he doesn't want to do anything the first weekend off.
After Sandhurst they usually do a Troop Commanders Course at their Corps 'home', OH is Signals so his was in Blandford. That is 6 months and involves studying etc. Then they might do a 6 month attachment. My OH did a 6 month attachment first though so in total, from Sandhurst to first posting, we didn't live together for 2 years. When we moved to Germany in 2008 it was hard work getting used to having him around all the time.
We were already married when he went to Sandbags so perhaps our commitment to each other was already strong. A lot of troopies are astonished now when we say we were married when he was at Sandhurst. A lot of the guys are dumped by their girlfriends. In my OH's platoon, 9 guys got dumped, only 1 ended it himself. 3 guys kept their relationship going and have since gone on to get married so it's not all doom and gloom
It's been 3 years since John commissioned, our relationship is stronger than ever and I love the life

Can't really give any more advice, the girls here, have passed over the jist of it.

But if he wants to be in a relationship, he will.......

Thanks guys, thats a lot of help. its been a while since i came on here after posting this thread and i have only just read most of these replies!! Since then my OH when on to his main board and passed,... he is going to sandhurst next may and im and very unsure about what to expect! But its nice to know that ppl have made it. I am detirmined to be one of those!