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Discuss Upset Newbie, parnter gone today :( in Welcome on Rear Party; Well Hello there. Firstly Id like to introduce myself. Im Amy and last year I met a Navy officer and we both fell madly in love. Im a student Nurse in North Yorkshire. So anyways, ...
  
  1. #1
    Junior Member aew510's Avatar
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    Upset Newbie, parnter gone today :(

    Well Hello there.

    Firstly Id like to introduce myself. Im Amy and last year I met a Navy officer and we both fell madly in love. Im a student Nurse in North Yorkshire. So anyways, over the months, we've had lots of fun. He's been on leave for over 7 months on courses and taking his special qualifications for promotion. That promotion came and they said 'you're going in june'. which was fine. plenty of time to get sorted and do things together before he goes. On Tuesday they said "you're needed on Saturday" in a dangerous place (im being careful what i say after reading the rules etc, hope this is ok). They then rang up on Tuesday evening saying that his flight is on Thursday and he needed to leave by midday. not very much time at all but hey thats ok. so today i dropped him off at the station and it hadnt really sunk in apart from the round and round thoughs of "no more kisses or cuddles and when i do something nice or fun, i wont have him to share it with and when im scared, he wont be there to tell me its going to be ok". which was ok until the train pulled out of the platform and i just burst into tears....which i felt so silly for doing on a platform where i knew noone and everyone was looking at me funny!

    so off i went to my lectures thisafternoon and i just wasnt listening at all. i went to work and i spent all night checking the flight details and times and seeing if he'd got on his plane. He got on his flight not too long ago and it feels so final and that i wont speak to him now for a fair while. he has contact but ive told him to use his calls for his mum and nana etc. emails will be ok but that doesnt take away this horrible horrible feeling of upset and loneliness.

    I know Ive only been with him for half a year but it is just so real and we're very much in love. I feel so alone and so upset, but i feel guilty for being upset as its his job and he's going away to somewhere dangerous and he's bound to be scared and nervous even though he said he wasnt. And not only that, this is nothing to do with me...im not the one going to sea for 5 months. there are people who have families and children and their husbands go to sea for months and months and ive known this man half a year and im blubbering on a forum. i just dont feel like i have the right to be feeling like this. is that normal?

    i feel like ive just been dumped and left hanging somewhere. i dont know how long i will feel like this. i feel like i dont want to do anything, i dont want to watch tv, i dont want to read, i dont want to study and i dont want to sleep.

    anyways, rant over...just after some support i guess.

    Amy x x x
    Bring them home safe.

  2. #2
    Senior Member LegallyShort's Avatar
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    Re: Upset Newbie, parnter gone today :(

    Welcome to life in a blue suit
    It was always going to be rubbish the first time - but tell yourself you've had them throw this at you ahead of schedule and you're ok.
    Since given you've said you attended lectures I'm assuming you're not dead, so it can only get better. I'm fairly new at this myself, there are old hands on here that are proof that its not the end of the world and you will be fine.
    There is also a 'nearest and dearest' forum here: http://www.navy-net.co.uk/cpgn2/Forums.html

  3. #3
    Junior Member aew510's Avatar
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    Re: Upset Newbie, parnter gone today :(

    Thank you,

    Ive had a bit of a read and it certainly feels much better for reading other peoples posts. ill be ok. its just a bit of a shock to the system and i just need to crack on and knuckle down in my work and remember that he's being looked after by the rest of the crew and he's left everyone, his family and friends etc. ive still got those people around me, he hasnt. I need to be strong for him and keep writing to him i guess. sending daily emails will eventually get read at somepoint i hope. I wrote him a goodbye letter before he went for him to take with him...quite soppy and he'll probably just laugh at it for the pure soppy nonsence but hey...at least its a hand written letter that will always remind him whatever the situation that im here and waiting and im not going anywhere....or with anyone else for that matter.

    thanks again.

    Axxxx
    Bring them home safe.

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    Senior Member sarahjng's Avatar
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    Re: Upset Newbie, parnter gone today :(

    Hi Amy

    welcome to rear party, chin up and chest out mate, it will get better, plenty here will be able to give you loads of practical advice, best bet for now is a big tub of ice cream (NOT that slimming crap, chocolate with chunks !) and a load of girlie movies, or anything with mel gibsons bare backside in it

    take care


    sarah

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    Senior Member Bazzer's Avatar
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    Re: Upset Newbie, parnter gone today :(

    Half this lot will also suggest some devices that require batteries but they're just very naughty girls.
    Blessed are the Cheesemakers.
    The Old Git sitting at the bar on his own. Moaning

    Eat shit. 5 million flies can't be wrong.

    Danger. Do NOT Feed the Bazzers

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    Re: Upset Newbie, parnter gone today :(

    Quote Originally Posted by Bazzer
    Half this lot will also suggest some devices that require batteries but they're just very naughty girls.
    Blessed are the Cheesemakers.
    Not at all, we're just helping the battery-making industry through these tough economic times. Selfless of us really....

    Hello Amy

    Well done for getting through the goodbyes, I nearly got lost a while ago after I'd dropped my husband off at camp because I was trying to drive and sniffle at the same time

    Don't give up on the thought of phone calls - your oh should be able to buy more credit so he can call you. You are allowed a bit of a wallow - be nice to yourself, get a dvd he wouldn't want to watch (I've been holding off watching the Sex and the City movie for months on the basis that Mr K was supposed to be going away) and a mahoosive tub of ice cream. And possibly something battery operated as well for the lonely nights. Oh and wine is also very helpful, it's past 8am so someone on here probably has a bottle open already

  7. #7
    Junior Member aew510's Avatar
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    Re: Upset Newbie, parnter gone today :(

    Awww thanks guys. Ive woke up today feeling exactly how I went to sleep, if thats what you call it...sleep. I planned to do some revision/reading today but I have a funny feeling that NOTHING will go in so I think ill just give up and watch crappy daytime TV and surf the net all day until tonight when Im going to go see my Nana, who always has the answer to everything

    Thanks guys,
    Amy xx
    Bring them home safe.

  8. #8
    Senior Member dizzyblonde's Avatar
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    Re: Upset Newbie, parnter gone today :(

    Hiya, and welcome!
    It won't necessarily get easier, but you find that you cope better after a while.
    As eveyone always says, keep busy, take some time out to wallow in it when you are feeling low but then pick yourself up and do something positive. Whether it be buying a large tub of Ben & Jerrys or going to the gym.
    Mines just coming to the end of his 6 monther & its been a rollercoaster - what else can i say??
    Oh and tell him to call YOU!! you are going to need as much contact he can give you. A quick call to mum/nan but i'm sure he'll want to speak you as much as you want to speak to him.
    Well, keep reading through the archives on here (priceless) and ask anything else you need to know. Someone here always knows the answers!!
    xx

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    Junior Member aew510's Avatar
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    Re: Upset Newbie, parnter gone today :(

    Quote Originally Posted by dizzyblonde
    Hiya, and welcome!
    It won't necessarily get easier, but you find that you cope better after a while.
    As eveyone always says, keep busy, take some time out to wallow in it when you are feeling low but then pick yourself up and do something positive. Whether it be buying a large tub of Ben & Jerrys or going to the gym.
    Mines just coming to the end of his 6 monther & its been a rollercoaster - what else can i say??
    Oh and tell him to call YOU!! you are going to need as much contact he can give you. A quick call to mum/nan but i'm sure he'll want to speak you as much as you want to speak to him.
    Well, keep reading through the archives on here (priceless) and ask anything else you need to know. Someone here always knows the answers!!
    xx
    Thanks. I can see it being a rollercoaster too. My OH, like many others is one of those who doesnt show much affection unless in private. When he left on the train (which I can see so vividly in my mind) yesterday, he text straight after leaving "I love you Amy, you're a lovely girl. I hope knowing this makes things easier. Miss you already. xx" which was lovely. I just imagine him being so busy on the ship that he wont have time to miss me. I dont want to seem too cut up as i dont want to be negative and tell him im upset.

    I dont even have his email address yet, I hope he doesnt forget mine or my number.

    Axx
    Bring them home safe.

  10. #10
    Moderator scuba_angel's Avatar
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    Re: Upset Newbie, parnter gone today :(

    Hi Amy

    Glad you found us its not easy and it never will be, but we'll all tell you to keep busy, and the time will go quicker than you expect it to! From the sounds of things you'll be busy with uni and placements anyway which helps but make sure you have your best mates around if you need them - the laydees on here are fab for advice and a shoulder at times but much as I lubbs 'em all nothing beats a good lunch/afternoon/evening/night with your mates. Loads of advice can be found if you have a rummage around older threads - but watch out for Bazzer he does bite at times (esp if you beat him on the daily quiz )

    Don't worry about having a good old cry - I did a couple of months ago when mine went to Kenya on an exersize (sooo not a good look at a job interview, ), I sure he'll be doing his best to stay 'manly' when his mates are around too.

    Look at the good points about not having him around all the time too (be it not having to shave/wax as often, being able to live in your scruffiest clothes etc) and then consider how exciting it'll be when you get him back again.

    Scoobs xx
    “It's not worth doing something unless someone, somewhere, would much rather you weren't doing it.”
    Terry Pratchett

    Doesn't believe in rose coloured glasses but things do look better at the bottom of a glass of Rosé.

  11. #11
    Senior Member LegallyShort's Avatar
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    Re: Upset Newbie, parnter gone today :(

    Oh and - don't forget you're allowed to ask for him to be supportive - Me, I've demanded a bottle of wine and something to distract me every time he goes away for a substantial period of time.
    This time's a short one - I got a 'stuff your own beaver' kit...:s
    (http://www.find-me-a-gift.co.uk/beav...ffing-kit.html, probably sfw - its a cuddly toy)

  12. #12
    Junior Member aew510's Avatar
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    Re: Upset Newbie, parnter gone today :(

    Quote Originally Posted by LegallyShort
    Oh and - don't forget you're allowed to ask for him to be supportive - Me, I've demanded a bottle of wine and something to distract me every time he goes away for a substantial period of time.
    This time's a short one - I got a 'stuff your own beaver' kit...:s
    (http://www.find-me-a-gift.co.uk/beav...ffing-kit.html, probably sfw - its a cuddly toy)
    What a lovely Beaver you have! Thats awesome! I may just well have to buy one when I get paid! Hehehe!

    Feeling much better this afternoon. Starting to feel less sorry for myself and more motivated and positive.

    Axxx
    Bring them home safe.

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    Re: Upset Newbie, parnter gone today :(

    Get the girls round, crack open a bottle of wine and order pizza and a film you want to watch...always cheers us lot up!
    viros non paenitet


    "Wit is educated insolence."

  14. #14
    Junior Member aew510's Avatar
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    Re: Upset Newbie, parnter gone today :(

    Im feeling MUCH MUCH better now. Had lots of contact with OH and Im keeping myself busy. Soppy songs on the radio or when Im at work get me thinking about him but Im doing just ok and looking forward to things one step at a time.

    Axxx
    Bring them home safe.

  15. #15
    Senior Member WhiteRose's Avatar
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    Re: Upset Newbie, parnter gone today :(

    Urgh, soppy songs on the radio. I give them a wide berth! Keep on going, aew
    "Nothing travels faster than the speed of light with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own special laws."

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