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Discuss Another newbie..... stressing... in Welcome on Rear Party; Hi guys....well my lad has just got his date through to go off to Iraq.....May or there about.....It is something he has wanted to do for a couple of years and he is soooooo excited......me....well ...
  
  1. #1
    Junior Member molesmum's Avatar
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    Another newbie..... stressing...

    Hi guys....well my lad has just got his date through to go off to Iraq.....May or there about.....It is something he has wanted to do for a couple of years and he is soooooo excited......me....well i'm excited too and i've pushed the worry to the back of mind.
    As I have never been through this before, he has been to Belize and off to Austria but never on tour....what happens next??
    Do we get to see him off....will he want us to?....I'm very close to my lad, and so proud of him and all his collegues, I just dont know what to expect as I only listen to what he wants to say, rather than bombarding him with 40 questions...
    I have browsed Arsse and Rear Party for about 3 years, had a laugh reading some of the posts, cried at a few and got lots of useful info from others....but now I feel like i'm going to need you guys!!! x

  2. #2
    CK
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    Re: Another newbie..... stressing...

    Morning morning - fancy a cuppa? Just made a pot of coffeee

    Well, to answer your "Do we get to see him off....will he want us to?." the first part I can answer with practical advice. As he'll be going on Tour, he'll be taking a weapon (I would imagine it's the same for everyone) which means that they get loaded into a bus/minibus and transported to Brize Norton (or other airport but I think it's probably Brize as it is for my hubs) due to not being allowed to take weapons in a civilian vehicle (Really annoying as they're all wrapped up etc. but rules is rules and there for a good reason).

    I don't know where he's based but I know I could drive my hubby to his pick-up point for his lift to Brize but I believe the majority get together the night before and then go from there --- seen one naked lad in the Mess one night as he was getting rather hammered prior to his Tour (It was funny, I admit, as he appeared naked in the wrong Mess and in front of a Ladies' Night dinner group...I was peeing myself!) --- but I'm not 100% on that.

    You will receive a bundle of info about your lad going on tour (if you're his next of kin, which I'm assuming you are if he's not married?) and all sorts of numbers etc. The part that says "Your local Unit Welfare Officer will be in touch with you" is a bit hit and miss...4 and a bit months later, I'm still waiting for the phonecall from them but it does provide some useful advice, I suppose, for first-timers !

    Welcome to RP!

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    Senior Member Sancerre's Avatar
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    Re: Another newbie..... stressing...

    Hello and from another relative newbie (one week!) to another, welcome!

    All excellent advice from CocoaKid, but I also wanted to add that if he is joining a regiment already out there, then you may be able to drop him off at Brize, my OH went to a sandy place in January and as his regiment was already away, I dropped him off directly at the airport, he picked his weapon up later - but as CocoaKid says, he may just want to have a drink with his mates the day before, depending on his situation. If you drop him off at the airport, it is a bit surreal and a little bit strained as their heads are already in theatre really, but my OH did run out after I dropped him off, to give me a big hug, (I was in bits already and didnt want him to see) bless him. I guess it may well be different though as he is your son.

    My OH's mum and I have both had regular contact from a SNCO at my OH's base, I presume he is the same as a Welfare Officer? He has been great actually, he phoned quite a lot and I can contact him any time if I have any concerns. Mind you whenever he asks if he can do anything, I just want to ask him to bring my OH straight back on the next plane lol (of course I havent actually said this to him!)

    Good luck and you must be very proud!

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    Moderator scuba_angel's Avatar
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    Re: Another newbie..... stressing...

    Quote Originally Posted by CocoaKid
    Morning morning - fancy a cuppa? Just made a pot of coffeee
    CK does good coffee, I'll have one too chick.

    First tours are scary for us left behind, in terms of what you should do ask him what he wants you to do - just remember that hes still your little boy but he thinks he's all grown up now.

    I'm pretty sure that even if you arent his NOK, the second NOK listed should be able to get hold of the same information as the first but not 100% on that one.

    Other than that I'll resort to my usual wot she said response and simply welcome you to posting on RP and I hope that we can help you through the tour (it may involve wine, coffee and then some more wine)
    “It's not worth doing something unless someone, somewhere, would much rather you weren't doing it.”
    Terry Pratchett

    Doesn't believe in rose coloured glasses but things do look better at the bottom of a glass of Rosé.

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    Junior Member molesmum's Avatar
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    Re: Another newbie..... stressing...

    Well guys...a BIG thank you for all your info, and indeed the coffee
    I'm from the NW and I am my lads next of kin, although my hubby will argue the toss he is.....lol...but on paper it's me....His date has been changed so many times, and although I'm always there for my lad, organisation is quite poor to say the least....He is a BIG BOY now, and will have his 24th birthday making sandcastles, although he spent his 21st birthday watching the choppers at Disney!!..Think i'm picking up on some of the army lingo, but I do need some translation sometimes, being a mere civvy!! lol....

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    Senior Member dizzybird's Avatar
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    Re: Another newbie..... stressing...

    Coffee???!! WTF??? Wine woman, wine! Or vodka. Im not fussy!

    It might be worth having a look in the parents bit. Failing that Bazzer will be along shortly to give you some advice.

    Welcome and enjoy

    Dizzy x
    Bring out the big guns! www.greenflash.org.uk

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    CK
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    Re: Another newbie..... stressing...

    Quote Originally Posted by dizzybird
    Coffee???!! WTF???

    Dizzy x
    It was 11.49am when I responded, you raving alcoholic. And I'm the one with the bad name?

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    Senior Member Bazzer's Avatar
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    Re: Another newbie..... stressing...

    Leave it out CK. Dozybirds got it right.
    The Old Git sitting at the bar on his own. Moaning

    Eat shit. 5 million flies can't be wrong.

    Danger. Do NOT Feed the Bazzers

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    Junior Member molesmum's Avatar
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    Re: Another newbie..... stressing...

    CFT??? what does this entail and is it as hard as he is makin out?? He passed it today and is hoping for a bit of Easter leave before he packs his bags..... on MATTS?? Gosh all this jargon...he only passes through ie. kit bag/washing/food/shower/shave/splash it on all over/out/home at some unearthly hour/bed/do it all again tomorrow....God I'm soooo jealous...I go out with him sometimes. but need the following day to stay in my 'mongy state' while he gets up and goes for a run.... Has got his new kit..the Desert coloured one...that had to be washed, so it smelt of home?? Big hard soldier boy, who loves the smell of comfort!!!
    I'm sure the next 4 weeks will pass quickly..he is having a fishing comp with his dad over a can or two this weekend....It's all go in our house....well at weekends!!!

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    Senior Member Bazzer's Avatar
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    Re: Another newbie..... stressing...

    All sounds a bit familiar.
    House looks more like an Army Surplus Stores crossed with a Hotel and Brewery.
    The Old Git sitting at the bar on his own. Moaning

    Eat shit. 5 million flies can't be wrong.

    Danger. Do NOT Feed the Bazzers

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    Senior Member yoni's Avatar
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    Re: Another newbie..... stressing...

    hi
    x

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    Junior Member spiritual37's Avatar
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    Re: Another newbie..... stressing...

    Hi I'm brand new here too! I met my other half just over one month ago online when he was in Afghanistan.
    We met for the first time two weeks ago and got on like a house on fire He goes back to Afghanistan on Wednesday and this is the first time I will experience what it's like with him on tour. I know nothing about the army but if anyone can tell me what to expect, what not to expect, I would be very grateful.

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    Senior Member LizBiff's Avatar
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    Re: Another newbie..... stressing...

    Quote Originally Posted by spiritual37
    Hi I'm brand new here too! I met my other half just over one month ago online when he was in Afghanistan.
    We met for the first time two weeks ago and got on like a house on fire He goes back to Afghanistan on Wednesday and this is the first time I will experience what it's like with him on tour. I know nothing about the army but if anyone can tell me what to expect, what not to expect, I would be very grateful.
    DON'T expect it to be glamorous. DO expect us to tell you exactly how it is.

    It's his job, You've been dating him for a week. DON'T go classing yourself as an army wife just yet.

    But, welcome to the site - drink lots of pink wine and join in.

    Liz

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    CK
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    Re: Another newbie..... stressing...

    Quote Originally Posted by LizBiff
    Quote Originally Posted by spiritual37
    Hi I'm brand new here too! I met my other half just over one month ago online when he was in Afghanistan.
    We met for the first time two weeks ago and got on like a house on fire He goes back to Afghanistan on Wednesday and this is the first time I will experience what it's like with him on tour. I know nothing about the army but if anyone can tell me what to expect, what not to expect, I would be very grateful.
    DON'T expect it to be glamorous. DO expect us to tell you exactly how it is.

    It's his job, You've been dating him for a week. DON'T go classing yourself as an army wife just yet.

    But, welcome to the site - drink lots of pink wine and join in.

    Liz
    What she said, and added "have a search around the site"> There is lots of information on here, lots of stories for you to read and things to take away from them.

    Not being disparaging towards you or your relationship in the slightest, but the online-relationships that start when tours are taking place are great for some, and not so for others. The lasting relationships tend to be the exception rather than the rule, so try and keep an even head It's not easy

    Seriously, search this site for threads...it WILL help

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    Senior Member choc-chip-cookie's Avatar
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    Re: Another newbie..... stressing...

    Welcome to RP.
    I met my OH in the same way, 3 years later we're married and expecting our first sprog. It can work but it's hard work. Don't expect anything other than alot of the time you will not be first priority cos the army is instead. It's his job, his life and you will learn you have to fit in with it, not the other way round.

    Life isn't always tough though, but as Liz says, we'll tell you how it really is and it's not always a bed of roses.
    choc-chip cookie x

    Some people are like slinkies, they're really good for nothing...but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs!

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    Re: Another newbie..... stressing...

    Hello

    Do like the others have suggested and have a look round and you should start to get a bit of an idea what it's like.

    Good luck with it all - I'm very happy proof that online relationships that start on tour do sometimes work

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    Junior Member spiritual37's Avatar
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    Re: Another newbie..... stressing...

    Thanks everyone for your help. I've read a few threads and I'm realistic enough to not expect a glamorous life. I'm not interested in glamour. This is his last tour which he signed up for before we met, then he will be back in the T.A.
    It's nice knowing that some online dating CAN actually work out. I will just take each day as it comes. Thanks again everyone. x

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    Re: Another newbie..... stressing...

    Quote Originally Posted by spiritual37
    We met for the first time two weeks ago and got on like a house on fire He goes back to Afghanistan on Wednesday and this is the first time I will experience what it's like with him on tour. I
    Met last week? And now an OH??? Instant r'ship...just add water!!
    Without wanting to sound like a battered old cynic at least wait until you have been together a bit before you start talking about your 'experiences' of him on tour. As has been said previously keep an open mind and be ready for anything!

  19. #19
    Senior Member dizzybird's Avatar
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    Re: Another newbie..... stressing...

    Christ, if anyone called me their OH after two weeks you wouldnt see me for dust!! And I am indeed a battered old cynic!

    Just make sure he gets mail regularly and the odd parcel. And accept that you most likely wont hear from him when he says he will call and that you will miss calls because you are a) fed up of being camped by the phone so decide to venture into the outside world at the very moment he has a window to ring, b) go to the loo or c) your phone battery has just died!

    Oh and read CKs Blog. She is completely insane!!!
    Bring out the big guns! www.greenflash.org.uk

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    Moderator scuba_angel's Avatar
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    Re: Another newbie..... stressing...

    Quote Originally Posted by dizzybird
    Christ, if anyone called me their OH after two weeks you wouldnt see me for dust!! And I am indeed a battered old cynic!

    Just make sure he gets mail regularly and the odd parcel. And accept that you most likely wont hear from him when he says he will call and that you will miss calls because you are a) fed up of being camped by the phone so decide to venture into the outside world at the very moment he has a window to ring, b) go to the loo or c) your phone battery has just died!

    Oh and read CKs Blog. She is completely insane!!!
    See thats not completely true, shes a bit nutty but no worse than the rest of us.

    *Can you stop twisting my arms now please?*
    “It's not worth doing something unless someone, somewhere, would much rather you weren't doing it.”
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    Doesn't believe in rose coloured glasses but things do look better at the bottom of a glass of Rosé.

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