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Discuss Hellu! A new one with alot of questions... in Welcome on Rear Party; Hey there! This is probably going to be a long wall of text with loads of questions for you that I hope I can get some clarity in so I hope you don't mind, here's ...
  
  1. #1
    Junior Member Ockra's Avatar
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    Hellu! A new one with alot of questions...

    Hey there!

    This is probably going to be a long wall of text with loads of questions for you that I hope I can get some clarity in so I hope you don't mind, here's my "story" anyways.

    I am a 21 year old young woman ( ) from Scandinavia. It so happends that I've gone and fall in love, completely, with a British man. We've had it wonderful the first few months getting to know eachother. Obviously we havent been able to see eachother alot due to the long distance between us, and the fact that it cost a bit to travel! But we talk with eachother everyday and this is one of the things that just feels right, even tho I am young. I guess I am not completely wrong assuming most of you know exactly what it feels to be far away from your loved one!

    The other week he told me that he is planning on joining the army. He want to join a local regiment in the infantry. The place did not really settle in my head since I have actually never been to England myself yet. He has been the one coming to visit me since he had the possibility to. At first I must admit that I didn't like the idea of it, I was way too worried about him getting hurt and things getting even harder for us to be together properly. And also since we had been planning on him moving to me here where I live somewhere in the future. He told me that he is tied to the army for 4 years at least which put our plans off for a long time more than we planned.

    But then I thought about it and I realized that I really want him to do it, because I want him to follow his dream and I fully support his choice. Me opposing to it would just mean that our relationship would be based on the wrong terms, and we could end up splitting just because I tried to prevent him from doing what he want. I am also (which i find strange!) proud of him that he made this decision to do something different instead of just being a "normal" worker (tho there is no wrong in that either) and to do something proper with his life. Since he hasn't been too happy with the life he had. And I want to see this as an oppurtunity for us instead of a hinder. And if we can do this together, we can do most things huh! (Maybe I am just being overly positive lol)

    These last weeks has actually made me realize how much I love him and I am willing to follow him. I have no career at the moment, nor do I study. Basically I am free to do what I want. And I want to stand behind him and support him.

    So I have a lot of questions.
    I've been thinking about the marriage part and living together in MQ. I've tried to read as much as I can but it feels like I can't find enough information.
    I also must say that I am not thinking in ways of marriage just to get into the MQ. I want that anyways and I would not be willing to move countries for someone if I didnt really want this.
    The thing is, however much I love him I do not want to be an economical burden.
    I have no clue how it works! How much more expensive small MQ's are compared to their normal living?
    You think it would be hard to get a part time work or just something to earn a bit of money so I feel that I can support myself and stand on my own two feet? Is there any help provided for persons to get into the job life easier? Since moving around is a part of it I am well aware that I am not able to do something that ties me to a place for too long. Restless as I am at the moment I have no problems at all moving (Heck i wouldnt want to move to england I guess if I did)
    I am not looking for a working career just yet, and if the day comes where I want that, it will be up for discussion then.
    And you think it would be a possibility to take some distance courses just to get the studying up a bit?

    Also. I am not gonna rush into this at all. (I just like knowing stuff fast) He wont be joining yet for some months he thinks and I know that during the first time he will basically unreachable during his initial training. (If i got things right!) And I am sorry if I come here and whine and ask questions before things even started to get rough!
    He said he would just be able to give me a call once in a while during this time probably, and he would get some time off in the middle. Are they allowed to leave England on vacation? Can he come see me at all? (As I've said I have no clue about stuff!)
    Also the thing about me living in a diff. country from him already can make it a bit though since I've read around and found out that dates changes very often and common for when they are going out/coming back etc. Which means that it is hard for him to plan to come and see me. Which also leads me back to thinking that me coming to england, wether to marry him or to try to get myself some sort of living until the "time is right" just to be able to fully go for this.

    As for now, I am just very confused and I guess you can tell, hope someone made it through this post :P

    Regards!

  2. #2
    Senior Member
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    Re: Hellu! A new one with alot of questions...

    Blimey...its like a novel!!
    Welcome.
    I cant answer any of your questions because Im with a yank but am sure the laydees will be happy to help once they have finished troughing their evening vats of wine

  3. #3
    Senior Member Angoria's Avatar
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    Re: Hellu! A new one with alot of questions...

    Welcome Ockra!! Despite what smartcookie says we are a lot more classy than that on here (we only drink wine by the 4 bottle box)!!
    Do you think we'll ever manage to be in the same country for our wedding anniversary!!

  4. #4
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    Re: Hellu! A new one with alot of questions...

    Quote Originally Posted by Angoria
    Welcome Ockra!! Despite what smartcookie says we are a lot more classy than that on here (we only drink wine by the 4 bottle box)!!
    yeah..and the rest. More like a tanker parked up outside with a hose fed through the window straight into one's bucket!!

  5. #5
    Senior Member Angoria's Avatar
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    Re: Hellu! A new one with alot of questions...

    oops, busted again!
    Do you think we'll ever manage to be in the same country for our wedding anniversary!!

  6. #6
    Schuh
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    Re: Hellu! A new one with alot of questions...

    Hey guys, Hi Ockra, right I have wine in my hand and am happy to type and sip......

    First of all, during Basic Training you won't see very much of him at all I'm afraid, but I think they can still send texts of an evening. I'm not too sure about this process as mine was in when I met him.

    Okay, the current situation in the UK and the army is that if you are not married you will have to work and rent privately. That's where it's a bit tricky, you will need a fair bit of money before you get here. I am aware that the job situation is a bit dire at present. Because of the economic problems temp work is scarce, although with the run up to Christmas there could be other work available.

    If you wanted to rent a flat or a house share they usually like one month up front and six weeks deposit, so depending on the location depends on how much you need to have up front. Try this site for rental properties http://www.rightmove.co.uk/ it may give you some ideas on rental prices.

    I know you said you are not working at the moment, but if you have a skill then it will obviously benefit you when looking for work. You can post a CV on these sites and look for jobs in the area you are looking to rent http://promotions.monster.co.uk/keyw...GOOG_Keyseeker
    http://www.jobserve.com/

    When he has passed out and if you do get married you will be entitled to an MQ, I think they are more expensive than living on the block with the guys but the price varies from house to house and area to area.

    Personally I think it's best to stay put at least until he has finished his training and is fully employed, as you could face being in a foreign country on your own and relying on him too much. This could place more strain on your relationship than the distance in the long run.

    It's good that you are proud of him and support him, the next few months will be tough but they are do able.

    Best of luck and keep us posted..........................and sluuuuuuuuuuuuuurp

  7. #7
    Senior Member FIRST_WATCH_ANGEL's Avatar
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    Re: Hellu! A new one with alot of questions...

    Hi there, also sipping and on my 3rd glass so apologies in advance for the poor speeeling

    You'll find lots of people with lots of experiences of basic and beyond and everyone's is slightly different and so will yours be.

    At the start we all have hundreds of questions some get answered some probably never do but the advice I have found most helpful is:

    It will work if you want it to

    Stay busy and positive :P

    If you don't know what's going on and there's a good interpretation or a bad one - in absence of the facts choose the best one and go with that till you know for sure. Things are rarely as bad as you think

    Write everything in pencil, expect last minute changes

    He needs you more in the forces than he ever did before

    Goodbye's suck for everyone always and they need copious amounts of alcohol and hankies to get through

    hello's are fantastic and leave is awesome

    Everything you thought you believed and understood about forces life before you got involved will change now you are

    Thats all folks

    See you around the boards
    O and watch out for the Bazzer he's a big cuddly teddy bear with attitude
    Don't waste today worrying about tomorrow.

    A true heart and soul connection won't be broken by distance or time.

    What do you mean wine isn't the answer!!!

  8. #8
    Senior Member Bazzer's Avatar
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    Re: Hellu! A new one with alot of questions...

    MORNING LADEEEZE & OTHER MISCELLANIOUS SLAPPERS

    Welcome to the looney bin "Ladies Fingers".
    You may find the odd one wivva brain cell that can 'elp you out with answers. The others just know where to get the best bulk discount for cheap plonk.
    The Old Git sitting at the bar on his own. Moaning

    Eat shit. 5 million flies can't be wrong.

    Danger. Do NOT Feed the Bazzers

  9. #9
    Moderator scuba_angel's Avatar
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    Re: Hellu! A new one with alot of questions...

    Quote Originally Posted by Bazzer
    MORNING LADEEEZE & OTHER MISCELLANIOUS SLAPPERS

    Welcome to the looney bin "Ladies Fingers".
    You may find the odd one wivva brain cell that can 'elp you out with answers. The others just know where to get the best bulk discount for cheap plonk.
    Well if you will keep telling us where to hire the tankers

    Ockra, it sounds like you've thought this through alot, as others have said while hes training his time off is limited but he'll still have access to his mobile phone in any free time. Once he's through phase one and two training and has joined his unit he'll have more free time, and is more likely to get weekends off, so should be able to carry on visiting you or you visiting him.

    Whatever you do, good luck and welcome to RP.
    “It's not worth doing something unless someone, somewhere, would much rather you weren't doing it.”
    Terry Pratchett

    Doesn't believe in rose coloured glasses but things do look better at the bottom of a glass of Rosé.

  10. #10
    Member Kelley's Avatar
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    Re: Hellu! A new one with alot of questions...

    Hiya Ockra, My other half is going through basic training for the Infantry at the moment.
    They DO have access to their mobile phones after working hours unless they are on exercise or have had the privellage taken away.

    You don't get to see them much at all. I saw my other half last weekend for the first time in 4 weeks when I went up to Catterick for the family day. He was able to come off camp and spend the night with me and the kids.
    He has got a long weekend next week and 2 weeks at christmas and then another long weekend in febuary, although my other half should be able to come home most weekends after 6weeks when he has his cap badge and beret unless they are away on exercise.

    Im not sure if they are able to go out of the country why they are still on basic training.

    I hope this is able to help u hun

    Kelley

  11. #11
    Member vicky_lu's Avatar
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    Re: Hellu! A new one with alot of questions...

    Hi Ockra,
    my boyfriend is in basic at the moment at catterick. The first few months were hard and I only saw him now and again but now he gets to come home most weekends when he is not on exercise and thats not very often, about once a month. I speak to him every night when he is at camp so you have got no problems there they are allowed phones and usually get to ring at night. He also had two weeks off mid training when we went on holiday abroad. Im not sure whether everyone gets that leave or whether it was just the time of year but we were fine leaving the country.
    I am unsure about the married housing because we are not yet married but I am sure there will be loads of people able to help you out with that on here.

    Love Vicky x x x

  12. #12
    Moderator Gonzo's Avatar
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    Re: Hellu! A new one with alot of questions...

    Married housing is more expensive than living in a barrack room, but your paying more because you get more for it. It is still not that expensive compared to civvy rental.
    viros non paenitet


    "Wit is educated insolence."

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