Advertising

Welcome to Rear Party

The friendly sister of the Army Rumour Service for forces friends and families.

Register now (free) to join in, remove this information/advert and see less advertising

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 20 of 27
Discuss Coping with Loneliness in Welcome on Rear Party; Hi I expect you have gone over this before, but as I'm new I wondered if anyone can help? Do you have any good ways to cope with the loneliness of having a partner in ...
  
  1. #1
    Banned
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    London
    Posts
    33

    Coping with Loneliness

    Hi

    I expect you have gone over this before, but as I'm new I wondered if anyone can help?

    Do you have any good ways to cope with the loneliness of having a partner in the military? I miss my OH so much, as he's always busy or away. My friends don't really understand as they can't believe his life is like this.

    He says it will all change when he changes jobs and moves in September, but I'm not sure I believe him as plans seem to change with the wind and the tide. Haha.

    So if anyone has any good ideas to prevent loneliness, please tell all!

  2. #2
    Senior Member LizBiff's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    At home with my feet up
    Posts
    1,171
    Images
    2

    Re: Coping with Loneliness

    Learn a language. Take a college course. Join the TA. Take some fitness classes. Train for a marathon.

    Good luck. It's not easy, it does get easier.

  3. #3
    Senior Member yoni's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    behind a desk - if not there - drinking vino!!!!!!!!!!
    Posts
    609

    Re: Coping with Loneliness

    hey babes
    keep constantly busy doing something, catch up with friends and family and also have mega pampering time - girls nights out/ in also great

    x

  4. #4
    Banned
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    London
    Posts
    33

    Re: Coping with Loneliness

    Thanks, I'm trying to keep busy with dance classes, running, seeing friends and learning afrikaans, but there are times in between, that are driving me mental!

    I guess it must be something you get used to.

  5. #5
    Senior Member scotsbird's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Posts
    391
    Images
    2

    Re: Coping with Loneliness

    yeah you just got to get used to it, i was happy when the kids were in bed while oh was in the desert but once they were i just thought "great now i am lonely" lol, now hes back and sometimes i am in too muc "company" if you know what i mean...
    going crazy back soon!!!

  6. #6
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    471
    Images
    2

    Re: Coping with Loneliness

    I fill the in-between-times with RearParty, emails and chatting on messenger *lol*

  7. #7
    Banned
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    London
    Posts
    33

    Re: Coping with Loneliness

    Haha, Thanks for the help.
    Are there any army wife and girlfriend get together groups? If not do you think maybe starting some up may be an idea?

  8. #8
    Senior Member sootycat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Location
    wallowing in a mud pool
    Posts
    1,748
    Images
    4

    Re: Coping with Loneliness

    Are you a girlfriend/wife/fiance or life partner? (trying to be PC but I'm not very good at it )

    If you are a wife you should contact your UWO (unit welfare officer) for details, if you are a girlfriend you could organise for other girlfriends for a monthly get together or something similar, it would be good for you if your friends don't understand as meeting people in the same circumstances as yourself to share feelings/problems etc with helps a lot.

    Good luck and take care xx
    Soots

  9. #9
    Schuh
    Guest

    Re: Coping with Loneliness

    I think the key to being an army wife or girlfriend is to pretty much have your own life. For example being a member of a gym, spending time with friends, attending a college course. You have to fit everything around the army and there is nothing worse than sitting around and waiting for some exercise or course to finish.

    You have to be independent in that you have to be able to fill the gaps. No one can help with the lonely nights though hon I'm afraid. My OH is currently on some battlefield tour and I guarantee that I'll end up falling asleep on the sofa most nights as I hate going to bed without him.

    It's part and parcel of it, although I do find a glass of vino and a very good book helps.

    Oh and gossiping on RP. Chin up chuck ;0)

  10. #10
    Member Kinna's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Currently...South Africa
    Posts
    99

    Re: Coping with Loneliness

    Can't help you much with the whole army life thing but if you need help with the Afrikaans just shout! Goodluck

    "Sterkte"

  11. #11
    Banned
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    London
    Posts
    33

    Re: Coping with Loneliness

    Yeah I think I'm going to have to learn to be independent. I'm looking into riding lessons to take up some more time and I didn't go to bed with my phone last night. Go Me! I sound like a wolly.

    Sootycat- I'm a girlfriend, but I don't know if they have anything like a UWO anyway at his barracks they're pretty small. I guess you're a wife?

    Sammi- That's sad that you cry on your own, while he's away. I haven't had to cope with a tour yet, but I expect it's extra hard. If you need someone to talk to about it feel free. I might not have good advice, but I can listen.

    Kinna- Dankie, I probably need the practise, as I'm terrible. haha.

  12. #12
    Schuh
    Guest

    Re: Coping with Loneliness

    CRIKEY - I didn't say I cry alone, sorry babe, I meant to say that I usually end up falling asleep on the sofa because I hate going to bed alone.

    In all honesty, as much as I miss my husband terribly, it's really nice to come home to a clean house and not have to pick up socks or cook for anyone.

    Can anyone really say that when the OH is around they can relax on the sofa all evening undisturbed with desperate housewives and a glass or two of Pinot?


  13. #13
    Senior Member lawlady's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    United Kingdom
    Posts
    3,713

    Re: Coping with Loneliness

    I love my hubby to bits and I hate it when we're apart (as we are now). However, ... I drink wine in my pj's, watch what I want and ball my eyes out at the news, sad films and anything Iwant to. My house is soooooooooooo tidy and there's no funny smells.

    I've lost a stone in weight and just done a 5k in 30 mins .. mainly cos I wanted to get fitter .. but I also want to see his eyes pop out of his head when I pick him up at Brize as I havn't said a word and have short frock and killer heels!!!!!!!!!!!
    Rank: Biddy 1st Class

    When the going gets tough - drink wine!!

  14. #14
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Posts
    1,127

    Re: Coping with Loneliness

    Quote Originally Posted by Sammi

    Can anyone really say that when the OH is around they can relax on the sofa all evening undisturbed with desperate housewives and a glass or two of Pinot?

    Not unless I physically wrestle the remote off him and hide it. Mind you mine's away just now and I'm sat here watching the football drinking a can of lager so there's no real difference. Apart from less farting of course

  15. #15
    Senior Member sushiwo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    381

    Re: Coping with Loneliness

    Have your own life.

    But then however busy you keep yourself there will always be those funny little moments where it gets to you. When I'm at home and I want to distract myself I make a list of jobs that need doing around the house and then do them all really vigorously. I can work up a real sweat cleaning mold off the bathroom tiles and forget what I was thinking about. And when I'm finished I'm too exhausted to think about anything!

    Other than that... I phone up friends who I haven't spoken to in ages, or friends who I know always make me laugh.

  16. #16
    Senior Member choc-chip-cookie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Gutersloh
    Posts
    874
    Images
    7

    Re: Coping with Loneliness

    well done lawlady on the weight and 5k in 30 mins. I'm sure your OH will have his jaw on the floor when he sees you. how long have you got left?
    choc-chip cookie x

    Some people are like slinkies, they're really good for nothing...but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs!

  17. #17
    Senior Member LizBiff's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    At home with my feet up
    Posts
    1,171
    Images
    2

    Re: Coping with Loneliness

    I have taken to running, 3/4 times a week at the moment. Im still not ace, but I am better. Last night was a marked improvement, I finally found that stamina that I had been trying to find.

    I am also trying to learn a language. He doesnt know this and it is supposed to be one of the hardest languages to learn.

  18. #18
    Senior Member lawlady's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    United Kingdom
    Posts
    3,713

    Re: Coping with Loneliness

    He's due back for r and r in 10 days time .........can't wait. Lizbiff ... good for you too.
    Rank: Biddy 1st Class

    When the going gets tough - drink wine!!

  19. #19
    Banned
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    London
    Posts
    33

    Re: Coping with Loneliness

    Quote Originally Posted by lawlady
    I also want to see his eyes pop out of his head when I pick him up at Brize as I havn't said a word and have short frock and killer heels!!!!!!!!!!!
    So do you reckon short skirt and high heels is the way to go? I'm seeing my guy tomorrow for the first time in weeks, can't wait, but not sure what to wear?!?! It's definitely going to be tight though. Not sure whether to wear a cute lbd, I know he likes, or tight jeans and a green silk camisole top he hasn't seen before. What you think?

    By the ways guys, thanks for all your advice, you really cheered me up when I was feeling crap.

  20. #20
    Senior Member choc-chip-cookie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Gutersloh
    Posts
    874
    Images
    7

    Re: Coping with Loneliness

    wear what makes you feel more sexy...no offence but he prob wont pay much attention to what you're wearing, he'll just be pleased to see you and the clothes will probably be on the floor in no time lol!!
    have a great reunion with your man x
    choc-chip cookie x

    Some people are like slinkies, they're really good for nothing...but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs!

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •