Advertising

Welcome to Rear Party

The friendly sister of the Army Rumour Service for forces friends and families.

Register now (free) to join in, remove this information/advert and see less advertising

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 20 of 24
Discuss About time I wrote something instead of just reading! in Welcome on Rear Party; Hi I've been reading the posts for a while and it is so reassuring to hear that you all go through exactly the same as me! But this weekend my OH goes to sandy places ...
  
  1. #1
    Junior Member Alabama's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Posts
    7

    About time I wrote something instead of just reading!

    Hi

    I've been reading the posts for a while and it is so reassuring to hear that you all go through exactly the same as me! But this weekend my OH goes to sandy places for the first time and I thought I could do with all the help I could get so really should introduce myself.

    I live in the south east of england and have been with my other half for nearly 4 years. I met him just as he joined but he has been in Northern Ireland and thus avoided sandy, far away dangerous places till now. Not that it has been easy but this is going to be the hardest yet. He hasnt even left the country and I've already had to stop watching the news because it upsets me too much!

    anyway you all know about that sort of thing so I'll stop feeling sorry for myself. btw I work as a PA and have no little ones at the moment,

    Alabama

  2. #2
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Kebabstan, Essex
    Posts
    1,861

    Re: About time I wrote something instead of just reading!

    Hi

    Welcome!

    Just read your other post - blimey - what is all that about then? I am soooo nosey

    HP
    x

  3. #3
    Junior Member Alabama's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Posts
    7

    Re: About time I wrote something instead of just reading!

    Oh you know- some silly girl think that because im not there she can 'pretend' my boyfriend is sleeping with her so the other guys in the mess wont hit on her. Obviously he denies it but doesnt see the harm in hanging out with her as a friend, but the entire mess must now think im an idiot!

    its one of those stupid things which considering he is leaving soon really shouldnt be an issue, but i hate to think all the people ive made such an effort to impress over the last few years now think im stupid!

    Alabama

  4. #4
    Senior Member schlafenmonster's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    930
    Images
    7

    Re: About time I wrote something instead of just reading!

    Hello and welcome!

    Glad you've finally decided to come out of lurkdom and join us!

    Off to find the post you refer to above...
    I have the mens rea, fancy an actus reus?
    Schlaffy's true identity
    My Blog, pm for an invite

  5. #5
    Senior Member yoni's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    behind a desk - if not there - drinking vino!!!!!!!!!!
    Posts
    609

    Re: About time I wrote something instead of just reading!

    hi
    xx

  6. #6
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Kebabstan, Essex
    Posts
    1,861

    Re: About time I wrote something instead of just reading!

    Morning,

    I have really bad PMT today so feel free to flame me about this one ....

    If your OH is spending his time with her and hardly seeing you even though he is about to deploy for months overseas but I am sorry that is just outrageous. Exactly how do you know about her "boasting" about sleeping with your OH?

    It just does not sound right to me as the last place a single girl who did not want to be propositioned by fit, young, sex-mad, handsome single men would be is an Army Mess.

    You say that your OH is happy for everyone to think that he is sleeping with her? He obviously has no respect for your feelings then has he? Think about it, if everyone in the Mess thinks he is sleeping with her and then you roll up, well - all they will think is that he is seeing two women at once and that you are happy with that. I wouldn't be - I would hate people thinking that of me.

    Or am I just reading for too much into this?



    HP
    x

  7. #7
    Senior Member sootycat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Location
    wallowing in a mud pool
    Posts
    1,748
    Images
    4

    Re: About time I wrote something instead of just reading!

    A very odd situation, I wouldn't put up with it, priorities need to be sorted here, before it escalalates and they have the attitude everyone thinks we are so why not????? Don't mean to be all doom and gloom but it sounds as though you are being taken for a fool, I hope you get this sorted before he deploys otherwise it will be a very long 6 months.

    Take care x
    Soots

  8. #8
    Senior Member dizzyblonde's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Location
    down south
    Posts
    660
    Images
    4

    Re: About time I wrote something instead of just reading!

    sounds like she's playing with fire ... silly [email protected] if you don't like it, get a grip of your fella cos it sounds to me like he's being a daft naive male, and she's being a sly devious female.

    like the way that was all posted in ...no need to reply... but we all been doing so anyway

    edited to add:
    that to the side... forgot to say hi

  9. #9
    Senior Member loobylu's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Posts
    202

    Re: About time I wrote something instead of just reading!

    Hiya

    Big welcome to RP. I know I don't know you or your OH or the ins and outs of your relationship, but my thoughts are, before you commit to missing this man and being upset to him leaving best find out what his intentions are.
    I know I spent every possible second with my OH before he deployed and I would of been really put out if he chose not to see me. I think this woman is being really vicious by spreading rumours, but what are her motives ? what does she gain, if she didn't want the boys to letch on her I would just stay away from the Mess?? Isn't that more logical? I think best sit down with OH, have a real heart to heart, tell him your side of the story and really get to the bottom of all this. It could all be true and nothing to worry about and us all just being suspicious, like Dizzy said, he could just be being niave but either way not nice for you and he should consider that. However all said, thast just what I would do and I don't know full situation, so best just calmly talk it through.

    Best of luck and hope it gets sorted and you will miss OH like mad, but you will get through, as if I can.. anyone can ... honestly.

    Love Lucy XXX

  10. #10
    Junior Member Alabama's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Posts
    7

    Re: About time I wrote something instead of just reading!

    Ah well you see the problem is He is in Cyprus and I am in the UK...

    This girl moved out there as the only female living in an all male mess. I havent been able to visit since she did so i have never met her and so don't know her true intentions. My bloke told me about it because he thought it was funny that she would encourage such rumours (hes a simple soul and honestly wouldn't have even considered either doing anything or that her just saying something had happened would still be a problem to me) Obviously it being my last 12 hours with him, and the only time I had been able to see him for months, I didn't want to start a fight and was so upset he was going I didn't really give it much thought.

    NOW though I'm seething! and when he finally gets a chance to call me I don't want to fight about it, but would really like someone to tell her to shut up and stop the rumours. He wont be able to tell her that because he wont see her for months, and he wouldn't want to get someone else in the mess to tell her for fear of making it in to too big a deal. He has told people that nothing is happending and they are being stupid, went to apologies for the childish nature of the men in the mess to Her and that's when he found out it was HER who was keeping the rumours going so they all thought she was unavailable!

    Why you would rather be seen as a man stealing sl*t than simply tell them that your not interested (not to mention how big headed you must be to think that every guy in the mess is going to try and hit on you) I dont know but obviously she thinks that's a better option! either that or as your rightly pointed out that's not her real intention and she thinks by making Him think he can get away with it she is hoping that he will do what she has been encouraging everyone to think they are doing already!

    Blimey that's a long post...

    Alabama

  11. #11
    Senior Member Fingerbob's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    Drinking, sleeping or sitting at my desk in London
    Posts
    250

    Re: About time I wrote something instead of just reading!

    That sounds really tough. And she sounds nuts... what is wrong with some women??
    You need to talk it through with him, tell him how you feel and what YOU want. If he expects you to wait for him for six months he needs to give you something to wait for.
    My OH has behaved like a total arse the past few months and I didn't get to see him before he went either (he went last w/e) and now he's sending me emails saying how much he misses me and hopes I still want him... so I just sent an email back explaining how he made me feel and that he needs to do a lot of work to make it up to me if it is me he really wants. I feel bad though for sending it to him while he's away but, I need to get on with my life and be happy!
    Sorry that ended being more about me, but what I'm trying to say is think about yourself and what you want and make sure you get it!

    I'm VERY hungover so apologies if this makes no sense whatsoever....

  12. #12
    Senior Member scotsbird's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Posts
    391
    Images
    2

    Re: About time I wrote something instead of just reading!

    i think you should talk to him too, no matter if hes on op or not.
    Or do you want to end up waiting for such a long time and end up with a kick up the bum???
    anyways little question why is he on cypress and you in the uk?
    and why is tehre a female soldier living amongst all these men? as far as i know they get seperate accomondation??
    anyways tell him over the phone or write him a letter how you feel!!!
    and that female (lets call her that hey) i would be on the next plane to cypress and tell her what the word war really means if she would spread such rumours about my oh!!! what a sad person she must be!!
    going crazy back soon!!!

  13. #13
    Junior Member Alabama's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Posts
    7

    Re: About time I wrote something instead of just reading!

    So the 'why is he in Cyprus and i'm in the UK' question first:

    Not really sure these days... it seemed like a big step for him and he wanted to focus on his job rather than worry about how I was settling in, plus he hasn't really thought about getting married yet. I thought it was a very long way away and would mean leaving my life here, but would actually really love to get married and move out there, ive been to visit and think it would be agreat adventure. But we haven't really talked about it recently as I dont want to fall out when I see and hear from him so little.

    On talking to him about it even though he is on ops:

    Yes I guess I should do if it's on my mind this much, maybe i could just write a little bit in a bluey about how hurt it makes me feel that everyone thinks he is playing me for a fool and that I REALLY want it sorted out if it continues when he returns.

    On flying out to cyprus to tell Her what i really think:

    Sound great! but then i would just be lowering myself to her level. Instead I shall wait till i next visit and just spend the whole time swanning about looking stunning. Plus everyone will still like me more than some lying little cow so once they see that He is clearly still devoted to me they will stop feeling sorry for me and just dislike Her!

    It makes such a difference to be able to chat to people who understand how it all works and how hard it is when they act like idiots then go away and make you worry about them for months so you feel you cant have a proper argument!

  14. #14
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Kebabstan, Essex
    Posts
    1,861

    Re: About time I wrote something instead of just reading!

    Hi

    Well, from the tales I hear of women living in the Mess (bear in mind that this is blokes saying this) they are either One of the Guys or a Slut - there never seems to be anything inbetween!!

    Reading between the lines it seems to me that she has not really fitted in that well - maybe given off the wrong signals to all the guys. Perhaps on her first night in the bar she gave out completely the wrong signals to all and sundry. To save face she is saying that now she is sleeping/seeing your OH. Maybe, just maybe, she is completely insecure about saying she is single.

    Even so, it still does not explain why he spent so much one on one (no pun intended there) time with her though, does it? One more thing, would you have found about all this without your OH not telling you? He must of known that your reaction would be to get upset and stressed about it all, least of all as there is bugger all you can do from the UK.

    If I were you I would be completely beside myself. Then again, I think I would also feel like I did not know 100% of the story.

    HP
    x

  15. #15
    Moderator bodger's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    3,667

    Re: About time I wrote something instead of just reading!

    Quote Originally Posted by Alabama
    So the 'why is he in Cyprus and i'm in the UK' question first:

    Not really sure these days... it seemed like a big step for him and he wanted to focus on his job rather than worry about how I was settling in, plus he hasn't really thought about getting married yet. I thought it was a very long way away and would mean leaving my life here, but would actually really love to get married and move out there, ive been to visit and think it would be agreat adventure. But we haven't really talked about it recently as I dont want to fall out when I see and hear from him so little.

    On talking to him about it even though he is on ops:

    Yes I guess I should do if it's on my mind this much, maybe i could just write a little bit in a bluey about how hurt it makes me feel that everyone thinks he is playing me for a fool and that I REALLY want it sorted out if it continues when he returns.

    On flying out to cyprus to tell Her what i really think:

    Sound great! but then i would just be lowering myself to her level. Instead I shall wait till i next visit and just spend the whole time swanning about looking stunning. Plus everyone will still like me more than some lying little cow so once they see that He is clearly still devoted to me they will stop feeling sorry for me and just dislike Her!

    It makes such a difference to be able to chat to people who understand how it all works and how hard it is when they act like idiots then go away and make you worry about them for months so you feel you cant have a proper argument!
    Sheesh! You're considering marriage even in this situation?! Believe me, don't get married or even think about it based on an 'adventure' in a sunshine posting. Cyprus turns into Aldershot (insert other large Garrison of your choice) pretty quickly and that tends not to be too adventurous.

  16. #16
    Senior Member LizBiff's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    At home with my feet up
    Posts
    1,171
    Images
    2

    Re: About time I wrote something instead of just reading!

    Ladies, ladies, ladies.

    Why not everyone jump on the bandwagon, stereotype every female that is serving and log onto a website and bleat about it.

    Alabama, welcome to RP - I hope you like the site and settle in well.

    Now, when you start calling female's in the mess sluts because of what your fella tells you, then I will take that as personal and become very defensive and you will NOT like that!

    All of your opinions are based on what your OH's are telling you about others in the mess. How much of it is based on fact?

    If you have not even met this girl, how do you know that any of this stuff that you have been told is true.

    I serously think that you should get off your high horse and go chew some grass.

    Find out for yourself who she is, what she does and who's story you believe. It's not unknown for men, as well as wimmin, to tell wee white lies to keep them out the shoite.

    Oh, dont be surprised if you find some of your posts to be edited.

  17. #17
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Kebabstan, Essex
    Posts
    1,861

    Re: About time I wrote something instead of just reading!

    Whoa - hang on a minute.

    First post did not say that this girl lived in the mess - maybe that was my fault in the way I read the thread. I asked further questions and in my last post I actually tried to think of some reasons that she may be behaving this way - hence the "new in mess" comment and the suggestion about her being insecure about being single. Then I also added about the OP not knowing 100% of the story.

    At the end of the day if he is telling the truth (and he might well be) then the girl in question is not quite all there. If she wants to be seen as a professional in her job then that extends to be seen as a professional in the Mess. Not trying to play games or acting like a love-struck Year 11 on a residential school trip.

    I thought I was being well balanced about it to be honest - obviously not.

    HP

  18. #18
    Senior Member padme's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    hopping from one planet to another, cause i can't be from this shitehole
    Posts
    1,757
    Images
    2

    Re: About time I wrote something instead of just reading!

    If you ask me ,your OH is shagging the squadette.And to look good in front of you ,and to get some parcels send to sandy place, he's telling you she's started the rumours. And it takes two to tango!!!!!!!!!! So don't just blame her ,cause that would be just to easy,to make your OH look good so you can carry on the relationship!!

  19. #19
    Junior Member Alabama's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Posts
    7

    Re: About time I wrote something instead of just reading!

    ok really didnt intend to start such a heated discusion- this was originally in the need to moan but dont need a reply thread remember?

    I'm in no way insulting all females who live in messes, i have got on very well with all the other girls who have lived in the mess before this one. I dont know her and maybe she will turn out to be really nice and just very insecure. but right now i dont know her and she doesnt know me and yet she is encouraging rumours that make me look bad, which is never going to make me think she is a very nice person is it?

    equally i didnt expect so many posts saying that he must obviously be cheating on me. surely the only way anybodys relationship with a memebr of the forces survives such long periods of being apart is by having total trust in your partner? i KNOW my boyfriend wouldn't cheat on me and that men and women can be freinds and spend time together without it leading to anything- I would be very suprised if there is a single person on the forum who does not have male friends they spend time with whilst their partner is away.

    the point of my moan was NOT that i thought he was cheating on me but that:
    - somebody who has never even met me was making me look bad to people whose good opinion i had done a lot to earn and there was nothing i could do about it
    - that because we live in different countries i hadnt seen him for ages and she had and i was jealous


    I hope all that can be an end to what has become a very negative thread, and not at all the simple introduction that i had intended.

    Alabama

  20. #20
    Moderator bigbird67's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Midlands
    Posts
    2,712
    Images
    13

    Re: About time I wrote something instead of just reading!

    Quote Originally Posted by hankypanky
    Morning,

    I have really bad PMT today so feel free to flame me about this one ....

    If your OH is spending his time with her and hardly seeing you even though he is about to deploy for months overseas but I am sorry that is just outrageous. Exactly how do you know about her "boasting" about sleeping with your OH?

    It just does not sound right to me as the last place a single girl who did not want to be propositioned by fit, young, sex-mad, handsome single men would be is an Army Mess.

    You say that your OH is happy for everyone to think that he is sleeping with her? He obviously has no respect for your feelings then has he? Think about it, if everyone in the Mess thinks he is sleeping with her and then you roll up, well - all they will think is that he is seeing two women at once and that you are happy with that. I wouldn't be - I would hate people thinking that of me.

    Or am I just reading for too much into this?



    HP
    x

    Clearly you've never been to Sluggy's Mess
    Truth
    Behind The Username



    "You're just like an itch that I'd love to scratch… with a fucking chainsaw."

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •