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Discuss A question you all probably get quite often in Welcome on Rear Party; Hi all, I'm considering having an attempt at Sandhurst next year having just finished Uni. Problem is I'm married. I know that this would be a big sacrifice on her part and I'm just looking ...
  
  1. #1
    Junior Member funkytg's Avatar
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    A question you all probably get quite often

    Hi all,

    I'm considering having an attempt at Sandhurst next year having just finished Uni.

    Problem is I'm married. I know that this would be a big sacrifice on her part and I'm just looking for some opinions.

    Am I being an ass for dragging her along? Is life as an Army Wife hard?

    Sorry if this isn't the place for this sort of question but I thought this might be the best place to ask.

    Cheers for any help.

  2. #2
    Junior Member Thewife's Avatar
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    Re: A question you all probably get quite often

    Prob best person to talk to is your wife. Being an army wife is what you make it, some people hate the moving around, personally I love moving to new places, meeting new people, finding new pubs and shops! There's loads of positives, the negatives are my hubby is away alot but to be honest if he was here all the time i'd pluck his pubes out! Hardest part is explaining to the children, my little girl finds it hard to understand why her civvy mates don't move and why their daddys don't go away! But they have loads of friends in the battalion like a big family really.
    Moving away from my friends and family was a big sacrifice but there's phones, internet etc and it's more special when we do get to see them.
    Good luck funkytg if you do go Sandhurst.
    Lisa aka The Wife!

  3. #3
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    Re: A question you all probably get quite often

    couldn t say it any better than TW!
    Good luck!
    Dini

  4. #4
    Senior Member curlysue's Avatar
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    Re: A question you all probably get quite often

    hello funky,

    like above said it can be hard at times but it also has its good things.It does really depend on your wife, is she that kind of person who finds friends easily, adapts to new a house, town, people easy than she will not have a problem what so ever.
    I like it and like you already heard the only thing is the going away!
    See what your wife things of it and just let her come on here and ask us some question.We will not bite, much

    Bye for now curly

  5. #5
    Senior Member LizBiff's Avatar
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    Re: A question you all probably get quite often

    Why is being married such a problem?

    Discuss it with her, it is a decision that you BOTH have to make. She is an equal partner in the marriage and just because YOU want to do it does NOT mean that she doesnt get a say in it.

    She doesn't need to be 'dragged' anywhere that she doesnt want to be.

    If being an 'army wife' was so bad, then the tens of thousands of people that do it - wouldn't!

  6. #6
    Junior Member rainbow_brite's Avatar
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    Re: A question you all probably get quite often

    As everyone else has said you need to talk to her about it.

    I would ask her to come on here, read forums, ask questions and find out what it would be like for her. I was lucky that I knew alot about army life when I got married but I know people who had never seen a landrover til they got to their first posting.

    It is a big change but for me it was the best thing I did otherwise I wouldn't of moved on so much in life, it has made me more confident, independent and have had some brilliant experiences.

  7. #7
    Senior Member bossyboots's Avatar
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    Re: A question you all probably get quite often

    Some wives enjoy being 'dragged' about ( are you a caveman perchance? ) and some dont.
    You need to have a chat with her about it and take her opinion into account. Do you have children?
    She may find the first couple of moves scarey, but then become so used to it that she takes it all in her stride, equally she may hate the very idea and decide to stay where she is, or even after a couple of moves decide to put down roots.
    That said, even if she does decide to go along with you, she may not want to live on a camp in which case you can find private rented, an idea you could actually put to her. She is going to need some support in whatever the outcome is.
    As others have said...its what you make it.
    Good luck.
    Bossybitch says......Problem?

  8. #8
    Moderator bigbird67's Avatar
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    Re: A question you all probably get quite often

    my dad's a crab not army, but we all went wherever HE did. My mum didn't mind moving every couple of years, i went to 4 primary schools and 4 secondary schools, but we'd rather that than only seeing dad/hubby at weekends.
    Its not for everyone but like liz said, she doesn't HAVE to go with you! Its very much down to the type of individuals you and your missus are!
    If she's the clingy, dependant type she'll struggle with forces life generally, if she is independent and has her own life, she'll be fine.
    Truth
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    "You're just like an itch that I'd love to scratch… with a fucking chainsaw."

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