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Discuss Hello Everyone in Welcome on Rear Party; Hello i just thought i would say hi i just stumbled upon this site and think its great. My boyfriend of 4 years has just started basic training and this is the first time we ...
  
  1. #1
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    Hello Everyone

    Hello i just thought i would say hi i just stumbled upon this site and think its great. My boyfriend of 4 years has just started basic training and this is the first time we have been apart for over 2 years so hopfully you can all help me through the bad times. please leave any advice you can on coping with him being away i would be greatful. THANKS[b]

  2. #2
    Senior Member DozyBint's Avatar
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    Re: Hello Everyone

    Hello rightbackatcha and welcome to RP!

    My advice is to live your own life, don't let it pass you by because you're waiting for him to reach milestones in his life. When he passes Basic (thinking positively!) he'll have more training, he'll have exercises and he'll have operational deployments, so if you start as you mean to go on, i.e. not putting your life on hold just because he's away, you'll find the other separations easier to handle.

    Use spare evenings and weekends with hobbies and / or study (or like some people, sat in front of a computer screen chatting on RP! You know who you are!! ): use the time to do something you've always wanted to do. Try to see the separation in a positive light rather than negatively and it will stop you from being so down (it's a given that you'll miss him!), thus you won't pass on bad vibes when you do speak / see each other. If he sees you keeping yourself busy, he won't have to worry about you, so he'll be happier.

    One thing that might sound odd, but it's worth keeping in mind: be careful about too often mentioning the names of bloke-mates or new men (colleagues etc) that you meet whilst he's away - even if he trusts you he's going to be tired and emotional, so could react badly if he thinks that anyone else is moving in on you in his absence.

    Chin up, the time will pass faster than you think!

    Edited because I split an infinitive!
    Holy Cow!

    Life is not the amount of breaths you take, it's the moments that take your breath away.


  3. #3
    Moderator blessed_baby_cakes's Avatar
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    Re: Hello Everyone

    Hi Trac and welcome to RP

    There are several ladies here in your shoes at the moment, and several others who have been there, seen that, got the T-shirt.....

    I'm sure that any questions you ask they'll give you an answer to, mean time just take each day as it comes.

    This will be the hardest one to cope with, take it easy and try not to stress. Write down things you think 'oh he'd like that!' or 'that's funny, must tell *****!' then when you find the conversation on the phone stalling or a pang setting in you can pull one out of the hat! Hearing them laugh can kill you after you hang up, but it's the best feeling in the world when you hear it!

    Just stay calm and don't panic. You’ll survive, promise.

    Beebs x
    Site cynic...... say what you like, I'll translate it for you.


  4. #4
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    Re: Hello Everyone

    Hello Trac and Welcome.

    The advice that Dozy and Beebs have given is great and it's the best way to work it.

    Good luck to you and your fella

    T-T

  5. #5
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    Re: Hello Everyone

    Going through the same thing, just remember how good it will feel at the end of it all to see him succeed in something he wants to do.
    All you need in this world is a sick mind and someone to share it with!

  6. #6
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    Re: Hello Everyone

    Thanx everyone so far for the advice it sure will help.
    sometimes your heart sees
    whats invisible to your eyes.

  7. #7
    Senior Member RedOrDead's Avatar
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    Re: Hello Everyone

    Hi Trac,

    Welcome to the forum!!

    I think the only thing I can add is when it gets tough and you think your alone remember there are plenty of others who have been through the same thing. Their hair might be thinner from pulling, they may have developed a wrinkle or two from stress BUT they made it to the shining light at the end of the tunnel.

  8. #8
    Senior Member Josephine's Avatar
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    Re: Hello Everyone

    Hi and welcome tothe forum, you have come to the right place!

    Big hugs!
    Could crop circles be the work of a cereal killer?

  9. #9
    Senior Member Gillylady's Avatar
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    Re: Hello Everyone

    Welcome Trac, join the family x
    Working.........bane of the drinking woman's life

  10. #10
    Junior Member kermit's Avatar
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    Re: Hello Everyone

    Hi there Trac,
    I too am in the same situation as you......it's now the 2nd week into the 3 months and I won't lye, everyday I struggle not to look at his photo and cry it;'s worse at the weekends or in the evenings BUT on the otherhand I don't have to religiously shave my legs, have started a detox, upted my exercise and am spending lots more time with my friends and have some ME time at the weekend which after 6 months of only seeing my BF at the weekend is great.......I even baked last weekend and have promised to do something different every weekend untl he returns. I also started to write what happended on a daily basis (obviously only if it's worth writing about.!! Not..went to the loo, cleaned my teeth,..etc ; ) it worked out to be a 9 page letter in the end and Im going to do it every fortnight.
    Im sure it will get easier as everyone says, just ensure you keep busy.....it's the queit times that are the hardset.
    Im always here if you need a chat...
    Kermy..xx

  11. #11
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    Re: Hello Everyone

    What date did your boyfriend start his basic training and what training camp is he at? Just interested to see if he started at the same time and is at the same camp as my boyfriend.
    All you need in this world is a sick mind and someone to share it with!

  12. #12
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    Re: Hello Everyone

    *** May at *********** so its day * and all is sort of going well

    Sorry guys edited, read the rules on persec, or ask.

    Beebs
    sometimes your heart sees
    whats invisible to your eyes.

  13. #13
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    Re: Hello Everyone

    Hi Trac,

    My bf just started ******* training at *********. Phase **** went really fast. I joined the gym and so most of my evening time was spent with that, which was good because my boyfriend came back from phase ***** a very slim and toned bunny (even though he wasn't big and worked out before he went) but it meant i could keep up with him!

    And again edited, sorry.......

    Beebs

  14. #14
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    Re: Hello Everyone

    ops sorry about that, my fault for asking, sorry guys.
    All you need in this world is a sick mind and someone to share it with!

  15. #15
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    Re: Hello Everyone

    It is horrible being apart for long periods but its sooooo good when they come home. My significant other is on Tour at the mo and wont be home till mid August, I find writing Blueys and telling him whats going on at home helps, even if it sounds like boring old news to you he loves it! It also gives you space to go out with your Girl Friends more than you usually would....My Granny always says " Absence Makes the Heart grow Fonder" I think she is right. You appreciate each other more when you are together. :P

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