Advertising

Welcome to Rear Party

The friendly sister of the Army Rumour Service for forces friends and families.

Register now (free) to join in, remove this information/advert and see less advertising

Results 1 to 12 of 12
Discuss Newbie - missing my son in Welcome on Rear Party; Hi, just looking for a bit of moral support and hopefully some advice from someone who's been in same position. I've had a bit of a look through the site and I it looks like ...
  
  1. #1
    Junior Member Netty's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    2

    Newbie - missing my son

    Hi, just looking for a bit of moral support and hopefully some advice from someone who's been in same position. I've had a bit of a look through the site and I it looks like its mainly wives and girlfriends but hoped there might be some mums aswell.

    My son who is just 16 started his training on Sunday. We took him down - about 300 miles and it was the worst day of my life seeing him go. I am proud of him but I miss him so much already. I know it sounds really pathetic and no one at home really seems to understand, but I just can't stop crying and thinking about him. He's phoned me and sounds really happy and I'm pleased he is but I miss him so much ...

  2. #2
    Senior Member choc-chip-cookie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Gutersloh
    Posts
    874
    Images
    7

    Re: Newbie - missing my son

    hi netty, i'm not a mum but I can appreciate your feelings.
    your son will be fine, he'll be making new friends, gaining new skills & experiences.
    keep your communications with him in a positive tone.
    In training they'll have a lot of discipline drummed into them, but instructors will look out for any signs of the recruits not being ok.
    It's a new chapter in your son's life, change takes a while to get used to but I'm sure he'll be fine and make you ever prouder of his achievments.
    choc-chip cookie x

    Some people are like slinkies, they're really good for nothing...but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs!

  3. #3
    Senior Member DozyBint's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Posts
    1,207

    Re: Newbie - missing my son

    Welcome Netty!

    We not only have one or two mums lurking, but a few dads as well! Look out for Lucky_Jim especially - he'll have advice by the bucketful!

    I'm not a mother, so this is only from a (33-year-old!) child's perspective, but it's natural (and NOT pathetic! ) that parents will miss and worry about their children when they fly the nest, but unless your son is unhappy or in trouble (neither of which is the case) after a couple of days moping because of how you feel, pull yourself up by your bootstraps, congratulate yourself on a job well done in raising your son and begin to enjoy the next phase of his life and yours!

    It honestly does get better and is a survivable situation - Mum and Dad packed all 3 of us off to university and various foreign countries and whilst they missed us (crazy people that they are! ) they wanted us to enjoy our lives and get out of them what we could, so they had to swallow their fears and sadness at our leaving and take pleasure from our 'phone calls and flying visits.

    Saxybabe is in a similar situation, having just packed her daughter off to university, so she'll no doubt pop up to commiserate with you at some stage.

    Anyway, have a read through the RP forums - I bet you before long you'll find a thread that has you laughing!
    Holy Cow!

    Life is not the amount of breaths you take, it's the moments that take your breath away.


  4. #4
    Senior Member Rinky_Dink's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Over the hills and far away.
    Posts
    549
    Images
    3

    Re: Newbie - missing my son

    Hi Netty,
    I spoke to my mother in law recently about the day she dropped her 16 year old son off at an army camp to do his basic training.
    It wasn't easy, she expected him to walk through the door at any moment.

    But a few months later came the proudest day of her life, her son was now a soldier.

    You will be proud too.

    Also, I second what dozy said about lucky_jim. His words have a way of making you feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

    Rinky xx

  5. #5
    Banned
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    341

    Re: Newbie - missing my son

    ..

  6. #6
    Senior Member Lucky_Jim's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    Hiding in the hills
    Posts
    310
    Images
    1

    Re: Newbie - missing my son

    Netty, what you are feeling is entirely natural and lots of us here understand exactly what it's like to be in your position.

    Try to take some solace from the fact that your beloved boy is pursuing a noble career. He will be making friends of a calibre that he never could have found outside the military. He will rapidly become so much fitter, so much more self-confident that the next time you meet him you'll barely recognise him - but in an entirely good way.

    Be proud of him. Look forward to the day when he passes out of training and you can be there, absolutely bursting with pride at what he has achieved and who he has become.

    I did the hard yards of which you speak several years ago when I dropped off a rather forlorn looking Jim Junior in a dorm at Welbeck College. I hated myself for quite some time after, but when he went up the steps of Old College to receive his commision there wasn't a prouder man in the country than this misty-eyed old git.

    More recently still my boy got married and had the full crossed-swords guard of honour treatment from his brother officers outside the church. Seeing them together again and the way in which they bonded was truly magical; only in the military can young men forge such comradeship.

    Try not to be sad Netty. Your lad is embarking on a wonderful journey and we all wish him nothing but the best of luck.
    And with that he picked up the bloody old towser by the neck and, by Jesus, he near throttled him.

  7. #7
    Junior Member Netty's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    2

    Re: Newbie - missing my son

    Just want to say thank you so much for the really understanding replies. It is so good to hear from people who really understand. I've heard from him a couple of times and he's already talking about the great lads and great food and although he says he's shattered he loves it so far. I'm sure I'll get some calls when he's a bit down but I feel I'm prepared for that now. I still feel like I'm missing something so special but feel very proud of him already. thanks so much x

  8. #8
    Senior Member dizzybird's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    In the nearest beauty salon
    Posts
    924
    Images
    1

    Re: Newbie - missing my son

    Welcome Netty, there is always someone on here who can share their knowledge and experiences. Enjoy the site

    Dizzy x
    Bring out the big guns! www.greenflash.org.uk

  9. #9
    Senior Member Josephine's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Reading
    Posts
    4,187
    Images
    12

    Re: Newbie - missing my son

    Hi and welcome,

    Unfortunately, I have no advice but from the child's view, he will be having a good old time. May complain about it whenever he gets the chance but will fondly look back in years to come and remember basic training as one of his best part of his years!

    Your son will have left a boy but will return a man and the pride you will have in him will be MASSIVE! You wait for the minute that he tells you something and you can't wait to tell all the family and friends!

    It will happen, or was that just my mum
    Could crop circles be the work of a cereal killer?

  10. #10
    Senior Member amamark01's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    Akrotiri (Cyprus)
    Posts
    118

    Re: Newbie - missing my son

    hi netty,
    just thought i would say i can understand wot you are going through i have not been through it my self but i have spoken to my mother in law about wen she took my hubby to start training. she said it was one of the most upsettint times of her life but also one of her proudest moments. she said it was very hard at first not seeing him but you get used to it. she said she delt with it by looking forward to phone calls and the visits. one thing she said she did not miss was the untiday bedroom and the mess he left around the house lol chin up i sure he will be fine and in a few months you will fell like the prodest mother in the world when you are at is pass out.

  11. #11
    Junior Member hldrmum's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    1

    Re: Newbie - missing my son

    Hi Netty

    I know exactly where you're coming from. My 16 yr old son went off to do his ADC in March this year. Ye gods it was awful!!!! Despite also having two other teenage offspring (or should that be spawn of the devil lol) the house felt so empty with out him around.

    Despite being in myself and married to someone with 22yrs service behind them, it didn't make it any better, as I knew what would be happening to him!

    It does get easier with time and you'll feel so proud when you go down and see him at his Passing Out Pde. There is no feeling like it!! Just remember to use the excuse that it's the wind blowing the dust off the Square into your eyes and making them water lol

    The change in my son is amazing, from someone who used to baulk at doing the washing up and various other jobs around the house, he jumps to it and gets it done when asked. Though I'm wondering how long that will last......

    He's keeping in touch with phone calls - he sounds happy, excellent I hope he continues to enjoy it.

    My boy is now doing his trade training and still enjoying it. He's due home today for a long weekend (can't wait!!lol).

    Feel free to PM me if you need anymore support - there are probably more Mums out here lurking somewhere - your post bought me out of lurkdom to post

    Hldrmum

  12. #12
    Junior Member MusoMum's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    1

    Re: Newbie - missing my son

    Quote Originally Posted by Netty
    Hi, just looking for a bit of moral support and hopefully some advice from someone who's been in same position. I've had a bit of a look through the site and I it looks like its mainly wives and girlfriends but hoped there might be some mums aswell.

    My son who is just 16 started his training on Sunday. We took him down - about 300 miles and it was the worst day of my life seeing him go. I am proud of him but I miss him so much already. I know it sounds really pathetic and no one at home really seems to understand, but I just can't stop crying and thinking about him. He's phoned me and sounds really happy and I'm pleased he is but I miss him so much ...
    Hi Netty,

    Where can I start - remembering dropping my 17yr old daughter off at her ATR earlier this year was so emotional, despite it being a moment we were all so looking forward to, when it actually came we all had to hold ourselves together.

    The first couple of weeks communication was only by text due to home sickness and not wanting to actually talk, but then things picked up - biggest worry over the whole period was about being back squaded and leaving her section - at the end of it all she said it was "the best 14 weeks of my life", we only knew this from her BEBO site so it was totally genuine. She was so proud of herself and her friends.

    Our pride at her Pass Off Parade was immense - so, give your full support, be positive (even in the darkest moments) and really enjoy 'Pass Off' - it really goes so quickly. Please PM me if you want any other insights.

    It's still strange passing her bedroom knowing she's not there, but I know she's with a great group of friends who will be there for her always now if she needs them.

    Our daughter has moved on to have a fantastic adventure and we have gained a wonderful military family.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •