Advertising

Welcome to Rear Party

The friendly sister of the Army Rumour Service for forces friends and families.

Register now (free) to join in, remove this information/advert and see less advertising

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 20 of 33
Discuss Abandoned Bowl in Welcome on Rear Party; My name is Bowl and i am abandoned I am a very nice chrome bowl and i began life in a lovely department store, where people picked me up and admired me. One day a ...
  
  1. #1
    Junior Member Bowl's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Posts
    4

    Abandoned Bowl

    My name is Bowl and i am abandoned

    I am a very nice chrome bowl and i began life in a lovely department store, where people picked me up and admired me. One day a woman who looked life Wurzel Gummage in a rage picked me up and said perfect. I was so happy that i never noticed the other shoppers bumping me about.
    She took me home and arranged loo rolls very nicely in me and i sat proudly in the corner of the bathroom for 5 years. Every so often my new owner would decorate the bathroom a different colour and i would sport loo rolls to match.
    The one day my owner replaced me with a different bowl and i felt a little bit sad about this because i liked that corner, it was MY corner.
    But my owner took me into the kitchen and almost scrubbed the shine off me.
    Then i was placed on the worktop and filled with all sorts of lovely fruit. I was happy with this promotion because i could gaze out of the window all day and watch my owner cook and things. I also had fun tormenting the hamster with the fruit too. I was very pleased with my new look
    Then today, i was made redundant. After 3 years of guarding the fruit against the hamster, the fruit was removed and placed into a new bowl and i was placed empty, in the cupboard.
    Its a very lonely and dark place is the cupboard, i tried to make new friends with the other bowls and dishes but they all sit together in a corner and ignore me.
    This morning i tried to escape when my owner opened the cupboard door, but i was caught and shoved back in roughly, between an old teapot and a chipped sugar bowl.
    I feel so sad and abandoned, i wish i was still gazing out of the window. I wont torment the hamster again if i am.
    I hope my owner takes pity on me one day soon and lets me out of this prison so i can hold nice things again, perhaps in the lounge or somewhere.
    I am losing my shine and i am scared that i will end up forgotten and then put on a car boot sale before being sold to someone who wont look after me.
    What purpose can i be used for now to make my owner take me out and give me a nice place to live?

  2. #2
    Senior Member Eye_of_Newt's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    South Coast
    Posts
    2,423

    Re: Abandoned Bowl

    What you complaining about???

    You've obviously got internet in the cupboard - why aren't you downloading plate porn?? Or oggling naked cups???

    (Dear god - I think I have heatstroke...I'm talking to a bowl...)

    Tact is for people who aren't witty enough to be sarcastic.

  3. #3
    Senior Member bossyboots's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    <---there not ---> there
    Posts
    2,463

    Re: Abandoned Bowl

    Are you 'dishy'? And does the teapot spout at you?

    EON, thats not heatstroke, thats just you being yourself
    Bossybitch says......Problem?

  4. #4
    Senior Member Darthette_Doctrinus's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    152

    Re: Abandoned Bowl

    This makes my eyes bleed.

    What's wrong with 'Hello'?


    Don't mind me - just enormously pregnant and a bit grumpy.

  5. #5
    Senior Member Boogie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    1,067
    Images
    8

    Re: Abandoned Bowl

    Quote Originally Posted by Darthette_Doctrinus
    This makes my eyes bleed.

    What's wrong with 'Hello'?


    Don't mind me - just enormously pregnant and a bit grumpy.


    Im not pregnant or grumpy but its still a load of bollox have some people nothing better to do?

    FFS

  6. #6
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Posts
    705

    Re: Abandoned Bowl

    Right i know i've not been around for a while but have i just read the life story of a BOWL??....

  7. #7
    Moderator sluice_dweller's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    Down South
    Posts
    2,942
    Images
    4

    Re: Abandoned Bowl

    FFS -someone take the internet away from the crockery - is it any wonder my connection is so slow if they are allowing everything in the kitchen sink access!

  8. #8
    Senior Member LizBiff's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    At home with my feet up
    Posts
    1,171
    Images
    2

    Re: Abandoned Bowl

    God help us when the matching salt and pepper pots turn up.

    I hope you came from John Lewis and not Woolies, or you are definately a chav bowel. Sorry, bowl.

  9. #9
    Member dulcis_me's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    Chained to my Desk
    Posts
    77

    Re: Abandoned Bowl

    shhh maybe if we're quiet it'll just go away
    I have made an important discovery...

    that alcohol, taken in sufficient quantities, produces all the effects of intoxication

    OSCAR WILDE

  10. #10
    Senior Member Pip_the_dog_wonder's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    lying on the floor watching fish die
    Posts
    495
    Images
    7

    Re: Abandoned Bowl

    I thought I was sad walting it up as a dog... now we have people walting as inanimate objects? where will it all end?
    Be amazed, I'm a bloody [dead] tap-dancing Ginger Pirate dog typing on the internet. haarrr haarrrrrrr wwwhhhhoooooooohhhhhhh.


  11. #11
    Senior Member bootifull's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    france
    Posts
    2,983
    Images
    3

    Re: Abandoned Bowl

    It's going to end?
    Have you a date for this?
    Mimi: "I'm a fat f*ck. I'm a f*cking fat f*cker".

  12. #12
    Senior Member Pip_the_dog_wonder's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    lying on the floor watching fish die
    Posts
    495
    Images
    7

    Re: Abandoned Bowl

    Quote Originally Posted by bootifull
    It's going to end?
    Have you a date for this?
    Just as soon as I find out his/her address and can get my paws to work a samuri sword, then its the begining of the end, mwwaaaa haa haaa haaaaaa....
    Be amazed, I'm a bloody [dead] tap-dancing Ginger Pirate dog typing on the internet. haarrr haarrrrrrr wwwhhhhoooooooohhhhhhh.


  13. #13
    Senior Member bossyboots's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    <---there not ---> there
    Posts
    2,463

    Re: Abandoned Bowl

    Be thankful it aint the salt and pepper pot....else we would have a whole new thread about how much the pepper is missing the salt when it is deployed to the dinner table
    Bossybitch says......Problem?

  14. #14
    Senior Member LizBiff's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    At home with my feet up
    Posts
    1,171
    Images
    2

    Re: Abandoned Bowl

    And another thread about how jealous it is over the vinegar bottle.

  15. #15
    Senior Member bossyboots's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    <---there not ---> there
    Posts
    2,463

    Re: Abandoned Bowl

    Thats nothing compared to a thread beginning over paranoia over the french mustard Lizbiff
    Bossybitch says......Problem?

  16. #16
    Senior Member LizBiff's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    At home with my feet up
    Posts
    1,171
    Images
    2

    Re: Abandoned Bowl

    And god help the ketchup if it calls out marmalade when it was making luuure to the brown sauce.

    It is getting ridiculous now.

  17. #17
    Senior Member Pip_the_dog_wonder's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    lying on the floor watching fish die
    Posts
    495
    Images
    7

    Re: Abandoned Bowl

    You orrible lot, discriminating against horseradish and mint sauces by ignoring them. Thats it, I'm off to start a petition against this site for allowing your blatant saucist views being published here.....
    Be amazed, I'm a bloody [dead] tap-dancing Ginger Pirate dog typing on the internet. haarrr haarrrrrrr wwwhhhhoooooooohhhhhhh.


  18. #18
    Senior Member bossyboots's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    <---there not ---> there
    Posts
    2,463

    Re: Abandoned Bowl

    Two's up with the banana's to what i could gather Pip.
    Bossybitch says......Problem?

  19. #19
    Senior Member Darthette_Doctrinus's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    152

    Re: Abandoned Bowl

    Quote Originally Posted by Boogie
    Quote Originally Posted by Darthette_Doctrinus
    This makes my eyes bleed.

    What's wrong with 'Hello'?


    Don't mind me - just enormously pregnant and a bit grumpy.


    Im not pregnant or grumpy but its still a load of bollox have some people nothing better to do?

    FFS
    Clearly not Boogie...may I suggest the guilty parties...



    Thanx to fella for the image there...

    I sincerely hope my life never degenerates to the point where I have to post moronic tripe like this on the tinternet. This is exactly the sort of reason why Elton 'Ubermong' John wants to close the internetz...probably.

    Right I'm going off to ARRSE to blow off some steam...

  20. #20
    Senior Member Owl_Pie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    Wiltshire
    Posts
    148

    Re: Abandoned Bowl

    Hurray for Darthette!

    More 'Kudos' for her, I say!

    Pfffffttttt...

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •