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Discuss balance between man/family/friends??????????? in Welcome on Rear Party; Hey Just a quick question and not very urgent. Just bought a house with my bloke and moved in last week. I normally only see him at weekends – but now he stays every night. ...
  
  1. #1
    Senior Member yoni's Avatar
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    balance between man/family/friends???????????

    Hey
    Just a quick question and not very urgent.
    Just bought a house with my bloke and moved in last week.
    I normally only see him at weekends – but now he stays every night.
    I’ve never moved out before – and don’t get me wrong –I absolutely love the fact that we’re together – even though we’re both that knackered from moving and decorating!!!!!!!!!.
    But I don’t want to turn into someone who stays in with their bloke every night – and never has contact their mates – I feel slightly guiltily about calling round to see my mates and leaving him in the house with no company, or with my family.
    So, anyone – how do I get a correct balance between family, friends and him???????
    Do I just need to buy him a dog, choose a night the football’s on and leave a few beers in the fridge and not worry???????????????
    Xxxxxxxxxxxx

  2. #2
    Senior Member bossyboots's Avatar
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    Re: balance between man/family/friends???????????

    Just do your own thing as and when you want to do it otherwise before you know it you will be his personal doormat.

    He'll find ways of entertaining himself one way or another.
    Bossybitch says......Problem?

  3. #3
    Senior Member yoni's Avatar
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    Re: balance between man/family/friends???????????

    Hi bossy boots
    May thanks for that. I know how easy it is from my last relationship turning into a heavy duty industrial door mat, and not willing to repeat again!!!!!! Just new too all this and wasn’t too sure if there was a protocol ratio to dividing time up!!!

    Thanks again
    xxxxx

  4. #4
    Senior Member bossyboots's Avatar
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    Re: balance between man/family/friends???????????

    There is no division of time. The key is communcation, as long as you tell each other your plans....thats tell NOT ask, then all should be well.

    Welcome aboard btw
    Bossybitch says......Problem?

  5. #5
    Senior Member yoni's Avatar
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    Re: balance between man/family/friends???????????

    Thanks again – I did a few weeks ago ASKED if he minded that I had went out instead of staying with him – I don’t know who was more shocked – him or me – completely kicked myself after it! We had a row during the week over my family – I told him that he was not my father and I was not his ex wife (went down like a lead balloon) – that my family did have a piorty at times if there was any problems and he would have to accept that. I do think it made me realise that I don’t want to be turning into a home maker (nothing wrong with that – just all too soon for me)!!! However – had lad lots of vistors while has been working and a girlie night on Saturday and feel much better than feeling quite ‘trapped’ at the start of the week !!!!!

    xxx

  6. #6
    Senior Member LizBiff's Avatar
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    Re: balance between man/family/friends???????????

    I think you are being a shade paranoid. He doesnt sound like the kinda guy that expects you to jump to his every need, nor should you have/want to.

    He might even be glad of the few hours to himself to sit in front of the telly and not have to fight for the tv buttons - he may even be feeling paranoid that you might be thinking that he will expect you to stay at home!

    Take a chill pill, be yourself and its tough shit if he don't like it! Or you could speak to him about it like an adult.

    Good luck!

  7. #7
    Senior Member yoni's Avatar
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    Re: balance between man/family/friends???????????

    hey liz

    thnks for the advice - and yeah your right - just feel bad that he doesnt really have mates here - and suppose if i stopped seeing my mates i'd be a changed person than the one he fell for!
    Thanks again


    xxxxxxxxxxxxx

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    Member dulcis_me's Avatar
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    Re: balance between man/family/friends???????????

    If he has no mates around invite him out with you cna't be any harm in that can there?
    I have made an important discovery...

    that alcohol, taken in sufficient quantities, produces all the effects of intoxication

    OSCAR WILDE

  9. #9
    Senior Member yoni's Avatar
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    Re: balance between man/family/friends???????????

    I normally do invite him out, slight age gap between us – which isn’t a problem at all – but a lot of the bands, clubs etc aren’t his thing – he goes to the things he wants to and all others I go with my mates and he stays in (feel slightly guilty at that – but he’s not into partying to 6 in the morning in a dance club).
    It was just the catching up with the girls, I normally do my own thing during the week and catch up with my mates and luv it – moving in – I’m sort of like ‘oh hello – we’ve been going out ages never really see each other and now I live with u everyday’ it’s just me – but don’t want to turn into a girl who doesn’t see her mates – and also dont want to p*ss my fella off with out running all the time. Ok I’m not adapting great at all!!!!!!

    xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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