Well not sure where to start really.......Err my Oh and i spilt this weekend and im at a loss on what to do. We have a house together, and a 18month old son. I ended it because i just couldnt cope with the constant fighting, wish it could have been different though!!!
But now he's saying that he's not going to give me any money for our son!!!!! And he's getting really nasty too....
What do i do, if i dont get money fron him i cant keep my house
Please help me..............
Love Bec x
Sorry to hear that Bec, maybe he doesnt really mean what he is saying at the moment, the break is fresh and maybe he is saying spiteful things in anger cos that is how he deals with his pain & feelings, im sure he is really hurting at the moment - and maybe he wants to hurt you in return by saying these things.....
If you're really sure that it is over for good, then in time when he has got used to the new arrangement he will calm down and try to be reasonable and help you out for the sake of your son.
chin up chicken, try not to let him get you down xx xx
Start every day with a smile.... and get it over with
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Sorry to hear this BecRaw... I agree with Discolil in that maybe the split is still raw for him and he is hitting out? Also - surely he will have to provide for his son?
I hope you are ok... Be brave xx
I can imagine he will have to pay maintenance money to you legally. My dad had to do this until I was 16 (my parents split when I was 4).
Sorry to hear about the split though, a friend of mine is currently going through a breakup with his girlfriend of 6 years, it's not good if you're always fighting but it's still a difficult time, keep your chin up and stride on.
:: Smile like you mean it ::
Yeah someone else told me about maintenance, but thought we could just sort it out together. really dont understand how all that kind of stuff works.
Your right he is hurting, but not as much as what he's put me through for the past 2 years..
Also what do i do about visits with our son, he has no home to take him to, my son will not be going to his filthy mum's house, (the house is a hole in a really rough area!!!) , and he cant take him to camp......
Love Bec x
oh mate get ur self a solicitor!
you are intitled to legal aid (free or deducted fees) if u arnt working or if your earning less than 12k a year!
get a solicitor, get some court ordered maintinance, and u will get the house because of your son.
relationships do go bad, and when this raw things do get thrown around, but you need to be tackful and make sure you and your son are looked after.
if you dont court order it, it wont be classed as a income, and it wont be garenteed.
its free.
find your self a solicitor.
(oh or the legal help line through the mod, i think ur intitled to use that!)
im a LADY, you see!
Totally agree with georgielass, get yourself a solicitor, whether its legal aid or whatever. Even if its just for advice that you don't end up using, at least you'll know where you stand.
Best of luck with it all hun, I have an idea of where your head is right now and its never nice. BIG HUG coming your way
You might also try the Citizen's Advice Bureau?
They are in the phone book, are free and are usually very helpful.
It might be better to speak to them first before reaching for the solicitor, as there can be ways round things that don't involve the courts.
Lawyers always raise the temperature of any dispute. If you get one, he'll have to get one. Any money he has to pay a lawyer will leave less for you and your son, and is bound to upset him even more.
Be in no doubt, you will get money for the maintenance of your child. Talk to the CAB first, and it might happen sooner, when you are armed with the correct information to quote to your ex about his rights and responsibilities.
If the CAB approach doesn't work in the first instance, then the next step will be the lawyer.
Hope it all works out for you.
edited a couple of times as I'm a spelling biff today . . .
Well said - that's the way to go. I wish you wellOriginally Posted by Trousdale
When the going gets tough - drink wine!!
Agree with this and Trousdale's comments. Things are sore at the moment, so go slow BUT make an appt with CAB as they are booked up for a long time in advance, by the time the appt comes round your life may be more settled and you wont need to go
Working.........bane of the drinking woman's life :-(
Sorry to hear about the break up hun theres nothink worse then a break up when theres a child involved, Just give him some time and he'll come round
keep ya head held high.
Shouldn't you have considered your relationship more before having a child? Why are people so selfish?
I want to snuggle you all...
Wow! That's an unbelivably harsh position: that someone's relationship has broken down now doesn't mean that they failed to consider the relationship before they had a child! Things can start off well but go wrong despite the best efforts of all concerned.
Thats just Harsh, If you dont have anythink nice and encouraging to say dont say anythink at all.
and what do you know about this unfortunate couple's relationship? A child puts a huge strain on a couple - maybe the bloke is violent or did nothing around the home and did not particpate in the care of the child. This is a request for advice NOT an invitation for nasty snide comments.
Becraw - look for a mediation firm - you and the ex may like to try it for the sake of the child. They will assist you on agreeing terms of split and future care to ensure as much stability as possible for your child. It will be easier in the long term as long as you can both behave like grown ups and put the needs of the child first.
I was hoping that I had read this wrong. I can't believe that you said this, it is hurtful and mean. BecRaw is in need of support and advice during this traumatic time not snide supperior comments. As my mother used to say, If you don't have anything nice to say then don't say anything at all. Please don't come in this site and make these type of comments. You know nothing about this person or their relationship.
Bec I know this is hard for you and new but I really do agree that you should try the CAB before the lawyers. They will give you the best advice and then you can get this sorted out. Is there no chance that some counselling could resolve the issues in the relationship?
I think someone's here to take the mickey judging by this, and previous, posts.
I think you could be right PSS.
I really dont need to explain myself to you...........
Love Bec x
my word! PFSP you must be a very misreble sad sad person. and i pitty you. and your narrow mind.
i mean come on, have you been in this situation?
do you really know anything about spliting up, when a child is involved.
im guessing not.
now creep back to your hole and button it
im a LADY, you see!
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