Thread: An arachnophobe's worst nightmare

If anyone wondered why I was stalking these halls at 4.00 a.m read on but
Arachnophobes.... look away NOW....

At 3.30 this morning whimpering from the Greyhound indicated a need to pee. Mr. Heli played dead, chucking in a couple of fake snores to be sure that I understood that he was asleep and that it was my problem. So, I tottered downstairs and released the Greyhound into the garden. I am not sure that this info may be useful information (possible trivia question?) but male Greyhounds, like male humans, can pee for days, so whilst waiting for the deluge to stop, I made a cup of tea and wandered into the darkened sitting room in search of fags.

My naked right foot stepped on something which moved! I stood shaking for a moment, suspecting the cat had dragged in a victim but composed myself and made for the light switch. Crawling away through the hall towards the closed kitchen door was a tarantula. Okay... the biggest spider I have ever seen. Big enough to have survived being trodden on. When we moved here our neighbour warned; 'you will never have seen spiders like it, it's the trees' (the house is in woodland) and I am afraid that she was right.

Numb with terror I dithered for a moment before running through the other kitchen door which was open, to grab that well known spider killer...Dettox. Why? you ask. I have no bloody idea.
I returned to the scene to find the monster still huddled against the kitchen door. I threatened it with the dettox but couldn't get close enough to despatch it, so I resorted to screaming and then louder screaming. By the time Mr. Heli reached me and gave the squashed and dettox sodden spider first aid before banishing it from the house (a Soldier who won't kill a spider who'd have thunk it?) I had surrendered to hysteria.

At 6.00am I had stopped sobbing and decided to walk the dogs. Charming neighbour climbing into his car, made much of loading kit, in order to give himself time to phrase the question which his wife had no doubt dictated.....'everything alright in your house Heli?'

So, it's too early for conkers, even if they worked, which in my experience they don't. Any good ideas for deterents?!

Yes! Kill the buggers, send a very clear message to any other wannabe trespassers!

Just to be clear! I am not a Bhuddist.

I would have had a heart attack and would still probably be crying if that was me.

My OH is as pertrified as me about spiders so not sure what would happen if we ever have a big spider tresspassing in our house!!

I am ok with spiders, it's cockroaches. I HATE them.

It took me ages to brave reading this cos i thought it was going to have pics! We got massive spiders in our old house as well. Had a huge one in the bath when OH was away in Cyprus. I knew I only had about 45 minutes to get rid of the spider before my son (who really doesn't like spiders) finished watching his dvd and went for his pre-sleep wee. if he did and spotted the spider he would ahve screamed the house down and not gone back to bed. After realsiing this bugger was not going to fit down the plughole so drowing it was useless I hovered over it a few times trying to pluck up the courage to get some tissue paper round it and flush it down the loo. I just couldnt do it every time igot close it mvoed and i moved half way out the door!
I eventually gave in to desperation ran next door to my neighbours house and begged to borrow her husband to come and remove it!

Charlie_five's solution to spiders? The hoover!!!! :twisted:

Your post made me smile special. Mr. H was unhelpfully away playing in the sand when we moved in here and before I had even met the neighbours I was found hammering on their door in my jammies at 7.00 a.m pleading; 'someone please help there is a disgusting thing on the stairs'.

I hate this time of year. From now until the bu****s freeze to death in November I veer between uber vigilance and terror. I am a life long vegetarian. I give myself lectures about spiders being sentinent beings. I tell myself that I am a grown up, pushing middle age, and it's time to put my big girl's pants on and learn to deal with them. I even managed to transfer my phobia to my step daughters and knowing that I had ridiculously done that, didn't stop me. So kudos to you for even considering picking one up!

Originally Posted by charlie_five

Charlie_five's solution to spiders? The hoover!!!! :twisted:

I hoover them, then leave the hoover on for 10 mins (incase is crawls out) I've been known to leave the hoover in the bathroom for a week after (incase it crawls out).

I'm not a wimp honest :roll:

Originally Posted by MarineGF

Originally Posted by charlie_five

Charlie_five's solution to spiders? The hoover!!!! :twisted:

I hoover them, then leave the hoover on for 10 mins (incase is crawls out) I've been known to leave the hoover in the bathroom for a week after (incase it crawls out).

I'm not a wimp honest :roll:

Ah but what do you do if it's between you and the cupboard containing the Hoover? and worse still...what happens if you manage to reach the Hoover and get back only to find that it has disappeared????

Originally Posted by Heli

Originally Posted by MarineGF

Originally Posted by charlie_five

Charlie_five's solution to spiders? The hoover!!!! :twisted:

I hoover them, then leave the hoover on for 10 mins (incase is crawls out) I've been known to leave the hoover in the bathroom for a week after (incase it crawls out).

I'm not a wimp honest :roll:

Ah but what do you do if it's between you and the cupboard containing the Hoover? and worse still...what happens if you manage to reach the Hoover and get back only to find that it has disappeared????

I would probably leave the property screaming and not return until said spider has been hunted down and killed

I hate moths, butterflies and flying daddy longlegs too. If they are in my room, I simply wont sleep in it!!

Slightly off topic....did you know that the average human swallows 8 spiders in their sleep?

Originally Posted by Eye_of_Newt

Slightly off topic....did you know that the average human swallows 8 spiders in their sleep?

Trust you, EoN - now my insomnia is only going to get worse! :roll: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

I did jump out of the car - whilst it was moving - a few months ago - because a HUGE spider was crawling towards me from the roof of the car...husband nearly peed himself laughing (thankfully, we weren't going very fast in heavy traffic)

Not funny. I was screaming in the street as was convinced it had landed down my top ops:

Don't mind spiders. Loather wasps. Think somebody on here called them the AQ of the insect world - totally seconded!!
Slugs - ewww 'cept THE Slugster of course :lol:

Originally Posted by Eye_of_Newt

Slightly off topic....did you know that the average human swallows 8 spiders in their sleep?

Thankfully, I don't think that's true.

Trust SNOPES!

Our house is full of conkers!

Last week I stepped on a slug with bare feet, it did not come off well. The feeling was very strange.

Mr Spanner had an encounter with a camel spider whilst in a sandy place. I know there are loads of urban myths about about these. I've seen the photos and the medics at the time can only put it down to him being bitten by one.

ok have just googled camel spider 8O GROSS

as for normal spiders, from being the sort of person who did the scream and leap across the room thing I can now tolerate them, good job seeing as the OH has a collection of the damm things, not as many as he used to have, everything from a rosie, a chilian red knee to golly a goliath bird eater, and yes the kids handled some of them and named ALL of them. one thing i did notice ladies, when he started getting the tarantulas we had a lot less of the ordinary sort of spiders around, maybe they give off a scent or something :wink: