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Discuss Single parent in all but name? in Patch and Pads on Rear Party; Leading on from Snooze's post about her little'un and his sleeping problems, she suggested an idiot's guide to parenthood. I'm sure there are loads of books on the subject already, although none of them appear ...
  
  1. #1
    Senior Member Eye_of_Newt's Avatar
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    Single parent in all but name?

    Leading on from Snooze's post about her little'un and his sleeping problems, she suggested an idiot's guide to parenthood. I'm sure there are loads of books on the subject already, although none of them appear to be written by parents with experience. Of course, I understand that studying children from a safe distance for 20 years is preferable to dealing with the little buggers 24/7 but it doesn't have that "real" feel to it. The ideas and suggestions in these books always come down to the same thing "stay calm, don't raise your voice etc." Obviously when you clock off from work at the end of a hard day's taking notes in nurseries, relax on the settee with a glass of wine and quite possibly some mind altering, not quite legal drugs, you are able to do that. If, however, you have been up all night with little Johnny's whooping cough, the old man hasn't phoned for a week, the twins are teething, you have the period from hell and the teenager is 3 hours past her curfew "stay calm" is really not an option. What we need is a "real woman's" handbook.

    How about "A single parent in all but name"?

    The front cover would be a tank with a soldier sticking out of it, next to it stood a version of that indian goddess with the hundreds of arms, in each arm she holds something else: saucepan, baby, spanner, hammer, bank statements, medicine bottle....

    A chapter on each of the important things:
    Looking after baby on your own
    Moving from country to country on your own while he's off sunning himself in the desert
    How to set up all your amenities/broadband/mobile phones (this would have a sub-section of countries)
    A DIY section - simple things like changing washers and plugs
    Tips on how to deal with lonliness, boredom and stress

    I'm sure there is a market for all this, especially when you read some of the threads in here. The shock of being a "wife of" can be overwhelming for a lot of young (and not so young...) ladies at times; when the honeymoon is over and real life kicks in a lot of marriages suffer.

    If we make it a group effort I reckon we could come up with an excellent guide, get it published, earn loads of money and live a life of luxury

    Tact is for people who aren't witty enough to be sarcastic.

  2. #2
    Moderator bodger's Avatar
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    Re: Single parent in all but name?

    I'll volunteer to do the chapter on how to crack open a particularly awkward bottle of wine whilst trying to ignore the siblings arguing. Will I be rich before Christmas do you think?

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    Moderator blessed_baby_cakes's Avatar
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    Re: Single parent in all but name?

    Top idea EoN, I think you might be onto something here!

    We've been dealing with issues here that many women would turn to their mothers or that person who gave birth to their husband for advice, but they're usually hundreds of miles away and only think of a solution while at the bingo and have forgotten it by the next minute.

    As long as it's an honest hands on how to guide and not packed with advice out with the remit of the individual, has lots of little anecdotes and is proof read, tried and tested I think it'd work.

    The last thing anyone needs is the advice of a do gooder who has a basic knowledge of 'being there' based on there time on a computer!

    I'm in.

    Beebs x
    Site cynic...... say what you like, I'll translate it for you.


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    Senior Member Deeply_Dippy's Avatar
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    Re: Single parent in all but name?

    Moving from country to country on your own while he's off sunning himself in the desert

    I know I'm a newbie (and no kids) but I do have lots of valuable information regarding moving regulations (country specific and movers etc.) internationally and a few other hints and tips that may help, generally related to such stuff? Won't butt in where not wanted but would be glad to input professional/personal experience - have lots of it , glad to help
    Opinionated, Moi?

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    Moderator bigbird67's Avatar
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    Re: Single parent in all but name?

    march outs.... nail varnish remover gets marks off vinyl floor and wooden furniture legs
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    Senior Member Deeply_Dippy's Avatar
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    Re: Single parent in all but name?

    bigbird - I'm compiling a list of those handy hints! My next door neighbour gave me loads when we moved into our quarter - I love her! My favourite is the toothpaste to fill in holes on magnolia woodchip walls. After close inspection, I am surprised our current MQ is still standing- inner-flooding could cause serious decay of structural walls!
    Opinionated, Moi?

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    Senior Member slipper's Avatar
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    Re: Single parent in all but name?

    Good idea on the march out tips.here's one I used and still do.....two caps of amonia in a large bin bag.put all the cooker bits in it like the grill pan and bars leave for 3 days tied TIGHTLY......remove and then rinse and lightly rub with a sponge..........gleaming !!!



    Slipper
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    Moderator bigbird67's Avatar
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    Re: Single parent in all but name?

    yay...my mum used to do that one too...our house used to STINK for days
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    Senior Member yoni's Avatar
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    Re: Single parent in all but name?

    if every1 put together a how to book - I'd be queuing outside to buy it!!


    xxx

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    Re: Single parent in all but name?

    There's a couple of books already out over here about being a Mil wife. One book is called, "There's No Wife Like It" which is a spoof of an old CF recruitment slogan, "There's No Life Like It".

    One thing we did over here a few years back when there was a large deployment was to approach the local DIY super stores and ask them if they would sponsor a workshop for the families on home maintenance. The store did, the workshops were great, we did ones in plumbing - divided into kitchen and bathrooms - sinks, toilets and everything that's wet, one on window and door repairs, one on water heaters, one on furnances/heating and sump pumps/wells and on tools/power equipment.

    We also asked a large car dealer along with the auto club to sponsor a few car workshops and they did as well. We had a few workshops on tires, changing belts, troubleshooting and general maintenance.

    We got a large computer manufacturer to sponsor a workshop on computer repair and software fixes. This one was particularly handy as we had just started to use the internet and email as a major means of communication and it was important for families to be able to keep their computers up and running. Folks brought their computers in and they were checked for viruses and loaded with any software needed to be able to use email/the internet etc.

    We arranged with the Mil Family Resource Centre and some local churches to put on weekend day care/creches for the parents to let them get shopping done, or have some "them/me" time.

    We got the local Health Unit to put on a few seminars on Healthy Eating, Coping with Stress, Dealing with the Ickies that affect kids - lice, snot machines, childhood diseases, preventable accidents and one on mental health for the whole family - how to deal with sleeping problems, nightmares, behaviour changes etc.

    We had the law society put on a workshop on legal documents, how power of attorneys work, why a will?, Landlord and tenant issues, and traveling with a child when not accompanied with the other parent - what to expect at the borders and what documents to be carrying.

    We had some of the larger banks put on some workshops on money management, budgeting, investments, and saving plans - they worked along with our own SISIP who covered insurance and short term loans info.

    We then had the Foreign Affairs folks do a seminar on traveling abroad, passport applications and a info night on the place where the troopies/sailors had gone.

    We found a couple of things from that experience, that the time went very quickly for most of the families as they had lots to do, that the rear parties didn't have as many emergencies to deal with, that very few requests were made to have a spouse brought home because of family issues and from the pers point, they found they weren't bombarded with issues that they couldn't do anything about being miles away.

    Sadly though, deployments don't seem to gain the support of the communities as much as we did a few years ago. It also takes work to arrange these events and sponsorships and it feels like today, no one is interested - they'd rather wave a red shirt around or stand at a gate and watch a hearse go by.

    For example, we have a couple units away right now and we thought it would be nice to arrange a half day child care for the families so that they could get xmas shopping done. We asked for volunteers - we got a pathetic response and yet, when the two lads were repatriated last week, the crowds stood outside the gates of the base and on the bridges going over the highway for hours in the cold. We had asked for a committment of less time.

    Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the way the public has kept up with supporting the families of the fallen and honouring the fallen themselves, but man they seem to have turned into a group of grief ghouls.

    Anyway, I'd be happy to write up a section on how to motivate local businesses to put on workshops and seminars.

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    Senior Member yoni's Avatar
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    Re: Single parent in all but name?

    Hey niner - those work shops great idea!!!

    I've started having to call my dad - diy dad as he's having to fix all teh co*k ups that I have made my oh is is away!!!

    Book - what's it like???



    xx

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    Moderator bodger's Avatar
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    Re: Single parent in all but name?

    Quote Originally Posted by slipper
    Good idea on the march out tips.here's one I used and still do.....two caps of amonia in a large bin bag.put all the cooker bits in it like the grill pan and bars leave for 3 days tied TIGHTLY......remove and then rinse and lightly rub with a sponge..........gleaming !!!



    Slipper
    Ammonia features large in this household around march out time! White spirit is good for shifting all the grubby bits on the light switches and the gloss painted woodwork. Don't make the mistake of using it on the walls though, I spent a good couple of hours re-painting on that occasion!

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    Re: Single parent in all but name?

    Best piece of advice I ever got was for a plugged toilet, throw 3 tablespoons of dish detergent (washing up liquid in Brit speak) down it and *then* use the plunger.

    The dish detergent clings to the offending plug and makes it slippery so it slides away when you you use the plunger.

    In one of our PMQs, we decided to lay down wall-to-wall carpet and had them use the carpet tack strips to secure it. When it came to being drafted, once we lifted the carpet, we realized that all along the edge of the battleship grey lino tiles was cracked. Not wanting to pay for damages on the march out, hubs and I filled in every crack with polyfill and then painted it battleship grey. From a standing position looking down, it looked pretty good so we breathed a sigh of relief.

    On the morning of the march out, estate warden left the front door open and the sun streamed in, quite nice actually except ---

    When you stood at the door, the sunlight highlighted every crack on the floor tenfold!

    I quickly parked the kidlet's pushchair at the door to revent the warden from being able to stand there. But no fear, the warden didn't notice that...

    he was too busy dinging us for all the sheets being over starched! 15 pounds worth of penalties! Never did notice the floor though.

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    Senior Member Pip_the_dog_wonder's Avatar
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    Re: Single parent in all but name?

    Quote Originally Posted by bigbird67
    yay...my mum used to do that one too...our house used to STINK for days
    but with all the minty toothpaste filling up the holes in the wall it should cancel out the ammonia. On close inspection of the walls in my current house I think I can brush my teeth with the vast majority of the bedroom walls.
    Be amazed, I'm a bloody [dead] tap-dancing Ginger Pirate dog typing on the internet. haarrr haarrrrrrr wwwhhhhoooooooohhhhhhh.


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    Moderator Legs's Avatar
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    Re: Single parent in all but name?

    Quote Originally Posted by bigbird67
    march outs.... nail varnish remover gets marks off vinyl floor and wooden furniture legs

    Hey, what are you saying? I don't leave marks on the furniture!

  16. #16
    Senior Member Pip_the_dog_wonder's Avatar
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    Re: Single parent in all but name?

    Quote Originally Posted by Legs
    Quote Originally Posted by bigbird67
    march outs.... nail varnish remover gets marks off vinyl floor and wooden furniture legs

    Hey, what are you saying? I don't leave marks on the furniture!
    you are made of wood? or just your legs. legs? I'm beginning to get confused


    Insert more 'wood' jokes here.....
    Be amazed, I'm a bloody [dead] tap-dancing Ginger Pirate dog typing on the internet. haarrr haarrrrrrr wwwhhhhoooooooohhhhhhh.


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    Moderator blessed_baby_cakes's Avatar
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    Re: Single parent in all but name?

    If the paint is nice and fresh when you arrive, buy a tin of that famous Magnolia and each Saturday have a once around the house touching it up, you'll be fresh all year round and the neighbours will wonder if you spend your evenings painting...... Yes I do this at home and Dale's always amazed, mucky cow.

    Beebs x
    Site cynic...... say what you like, I'll translate it for you.


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    Moderator bigbird67's Avatar
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    Re: Single parent in all but name?

    Quote Originally Posted by Pip_the_dog_wonder
    Quote Originally Posted by Legs
    Quote Originally Posted by bigbird67
    march outs.... nail varnish remover gets marks off vinyl floor and wooden furniture legs

    Hey, what are you saying? I don't leave marks on the furniture!
    you are made of wood? or just your legs. legs? I'm beginning to get confused


    Insert more 'wood' jokes here.....
    No...we'll get called hangers on and get told off for 'tag teaming' on Legs!!
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