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Discuss Sandhurst May 2012 in Partners - Wives, Girlfriends, Boyfriends, Husbands on Rear Party; So may is coming around pretty quickly, and it would be quite nice to meet some people in the same boat as me, with the OH heading off to sandhurst. Getting pretty nervous now, but ...
  
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    Sandhurst May 2012

    So may is coming around pretty quickly, and it would be quite nice to meet some people in the same boat as me, with the OH heading off to sandhurst.

    Getting pretty nervous now, but very excited for him at the same time.

    Would be great to get to know a few people to help me through the year, as i know my family and friends will get tired of my talking army stuff sooner or later! lol.

  2. #2
    Member Azbeee's Avatar
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    Hi Mrs.P welcome! My love commissions from Sandhurst April 13th! I cannot wait! Sandhurst has been hard but it does get easier. Is this the first time he will be in the army or have you dealt with the long distance before? I wont be in the same boat as you but I have been through it and will be happy to answer any questions! My love went to Sandhurst 8th May 2011 and I am so proud of him! I will have to control myself and not cry my make up off at his commissioning! We got together 3 months before he left but had been friends for around 6 years before. It was actually meant to be nothing more then sharing intamcy with good friends before he left. He didnt want to leave someone behind and I felt I had no time for love with my university degree and career aspects! Funny how things work out eh? It has been very hard I can tell you and I have had many angry and emotional moments but it has been worth every bit of it just for those leave weekends! But I wont bore you with details! But I am happy to answer any questions as I am sure all the incredibly lovely people on here will too!

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    Hi Azbeee!
    Its great to hear that although the year will be hard it is possible to get through it together. This is the first time my OH will be in the army, we havnt got any experience of long distance...at the min we see each other basically everyday. So i think it will definitely take some getting used to not having him around all of the time.
    Ive started planning lots of things to do over the summer to keep myself busy...and beginning the job hunt soon so hopefully that will also keep me busy busy.
    I bet you cant wait to see your OH commission, not long now... Im hoping April 2013 will come round quickly...then i will be in your shoes, and no doubt the same with the crying at the parade. lol.
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    Senior Member draegora's Avatar
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    Hi and welcome Mrs.P! Like Azbeee, mine commissions this April. The past year has been harder than we thought it would be (although it got progressively easier), but I am just so very proud of him at this point. Advice for going in? I hope he has some time off before starting in May, and I can only suggest that he uses it to sleep and chill out and relax as much as possible, because as soon as he starts, he will miss those things because he won't get another chance to rest up completely again until the year is over, despite having those all-too-short holidays between the terms.

    As for you, I'd suggest you search on here for Sandhurst and RMAS threads and read all the things others have written on here through various previous intakes. If that sparks any specific questions that can't be answered by Google please feel free to ask away. I think that being prepared before going into this is a good idea, not only for him but for you too. As much as he is signing up for a year-long commissioning course, you need to remember that you're signing up for a year of being his moral support, and that this will sometimes be really hard on you but that he won't have the reserves to help you when you're down.

    Make sure that you have a support network of your own, so that you can support him but then get your own support elsewhere, and expect it to be a thankless job at times. If you both go into this knowing that at times he'll be pushed beyond any limit either of you have previously known, and accepting that this will mean at times that he is unable to contact you or, if he can contact you, unable to really be there for you, then you can get through this year. I'm not trying to scare you at all, but I think it would have helped me if I'd known beforehand that they would send home a broken shell on the rare weekend breaks and that he would be so hammered that he'd fall asleep in the car on the way home and pretty much stay comatose for the entire time he was home.

    This past year I have written more letters than in the rest of my 39 years put together - not quite daily but close - and I have received answers to those letters on three occasions, all three of which I cherish because I know that he used time he could have been sleeping or doing admin, but chose instead to write to me.

    Best of luck to both of you in the coming year. I don't envy you, but I can say that when you get to this time next year, you will both be stronger for the experience and you'll know that your relationship can weather anything, just like he'll know that he can cope with whatever life throws at him in the years ahead.

    And stick around - we occasionally bite, but when you need it you'll get more support on RP than you can handle.
    Sarchasm (sär'kăz'əm)
    1. (n.) The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

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    Member Azbeee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by draegora View Post
    And stick around - we occasionally bite, but when you need it you'll get more support on RP than you can handle.
    HA! Only on occassion! But we do love our wine here too!
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    Thanks for replying both of you.

    And dont you worry i have been reading as much as possible...i dont think ive ever read or looked at as much army stuff as i have in the last couple of months! My brain is all army-ed out! lol.
    And yes luckily some time off before may...so got a good few things planned just the two of us for a couple of weeks, some quality time together before the year of "fun". But im sure we will get through it, like you have both said with lots of ups and downs...but by the time i am in your position next year im sure it will all seem worth it and i will be one proud girl.

    Ill join you in your love of wine...im sure a good few will be consumed in the next year!
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    Senior Member Em-laa's Avatar
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    Heya,

    Looks like you've had a fair bit of good advice already and I would say the same.

    My OH went to Sandhurst in Jan 2010...it still feels like yesterday.
    Couples do get through it (despite what some people say) and can come out of the other side still happy
    It's hard, it's shite at times, but all in all it isn't too bad. (I can say that now :P )

    Keep talking. It worked best for me as he understood it was hard for me and I knew it was arduous for him. The falling asleep on the phone was the part I found most irritating but you get over yourself after a while as you begin to understand more of what they're going through and doing.

    There'll always be something that comes up that you have to wait for or change your plans for.
    But just be aware of this fact.. and although you will be disappointed.. it won't come as too much of a shock.

    On my next challenge at the moment - first tour - argh!!

    Any questions feel free to pm me x
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    Senior Member ruggedfamo's Avatar
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    My oh is currently in inters. My advice would be go on holiday now before he goes in as trying to find time where you can relax and chill out together is hard so do it now. Also keep busy and go to all the social events they do and don't be afraid to go down there yes it might cost a small fortune in hotels and fuel but its worth it. If your lucky you will get to see them most weekends. Make the most of it when he's away keep busy

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    Hi MrsP! Found out yesterday my OH is starting on the 6th May . Exciting times!! My OH is currently serving already and we have survived 2 out of 3 years of him in Germany and me in the Uk so i am slightly preped in terms of time away but from what i gather sandhurst will be an even bigger test so looking forward to meeting the ladies to get the much needed support! I think this forum looks great everyone seems to give amazing advice and i honestly think it will fly by.... Next april will arrive before you know it .

    I am no expert on any of this but with regards to the army the one bit of advice i have is.... Quickly learn to accept that the army will always come first but thats not to say if he had the choice it would its because it has to. When he says he cant make something because of work its completely shit and the urge to get really annoyed is hard to avoid but you have to take a deep breath and realise if it was down to him he would be there every time but he genuinely does not have a choice and it makes your life so much easier too if you can just go well thats a bummer but hey never mind!
    Secondly time away is rubbish but as soon as you start to miss them suddenly its a week until you see them and you are soooo excited you cant sit still lol and then when you see them you instantly forget what it feels like to miss them.... Crazy!

    Anyway i just wanted to say hi and hopefully will meet you and lots of the others at some point this year. I'm always here for a chat

    Xxx
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    Hey Beckysp! Great to meet someone in the same position...I think youre definitely right by the sounds of it, Im going to need to be very accepting of change etc.
    Are you going with your OH on 6th may to drop him off? I think i will be going with mine...and will hopefully be able to hold it together and not get too upset at saying goodbye. I suppose 5 weeks until they get their first weekends leave isnt so long, im sure it will fly by...Hope so anyway!

    And ruggedfamo a holiday sounds like a very very good idea indeed...I think we may just try and squeeze on in.

    X

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    Hi Bugz

    I only recently found this thread too when I was doing some general research! I think having the support even over the computer is great...

    MrsP (and Bugz) I am going on the 6th we are staying over night with his parents on the saturday only about half an hour away because he lives up north so didn't want to get up at 6am to drive down lol!! It will also mean he's completly packed and chilled out on sat night so we can enjoy that together.
    Bugz...I wasn't particulary invited haha I just sort of spoke as if it was a given so he didn't really have a choice .

    MrsP...sounds crazy but 5 weeks will fly by, plan things to do now so you have things to look forward to and then just look towards summer leave ....that's my plan anyway!

    xxx
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    I just wanted to say hello as well, as my OH will also be joining the May 6th intake. I was hoping to find a thread on here to find some others in the same position as me, so am really glad I stumbled across this!

    Sarah
    xxx

    p.s MrsP I completely agree with the 'army'd out' comment... Even though it was the OH going through selection, I feel like I've learnt as much as him about the army!
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    Hi SarahJ glad to have another person on board . If you ever need a rant/ask any questions feel free!

    Bugz...yeah just do it haha, it's just you wanting to show your support! But don't worry if you don't get it off work because I hear there will be lots of opportunities to go there!

    ahhhhh 3 weeks lol!!!

    xxx

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    So less than 2 weeks now...crazy how time seems to have sped up!!

    I am heading down on the 6th with my OH, we have booked a hotel close by for the saturday night. Which will be nice, one last night just the two of us before he heads off...going to be very weird not having him around as have only really spent about 4 days apart in one go since we have been together.

    Got lots planned though up until the leave weekend after week 5. And Beckysp just need to keep planning and looking forward to the summer leave...3 weeks of time together, cannot wait, i think im already excited about it!

    How are you all doing with the upcoming day? Im getting a little nervous...i definitely dont want to get upset and start crying on the 6th when we drop them off. Need to keep a very happy face on that day. But im surprisingly excited about it all at the same time...SarahJ like you said learning so much about all the RMAS and army stuff, i think it feels like im going to be going through the whole process as well as my OH.

    Hope youre all good ladies! Looking forward to future conversations...and who knows maybe even a get together for drinks.

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    Hi Mrs P.

    I'm really nervous but I think its 50% excitement too I keep getting butterflies when I think about it LOL!....

    OH is currently in Germany atm booking out of his current unit been there a week but hopefully he is back on Friday to enjoy the last week together!!!...I think it's a warm up for 2 weeks time ha!

    I think although if you haven't been apart for more than 4 days it will be tough you will suprise yourself at how strong you are! The hard bit I think will be the lack of contact and the fact that when we speak to them they will be too tired to even remember our names!! haha. I think I am just going to be as cheery as possible and let him rant on!

    I'm actually really looking forward to going to Sandhurst on the 6th to see the place....It's quite an opportunity to get to go in!! I'm with you on the happy face I don't want to cry when I leave him I'm going to smile until I get in the car because I don't want him worrying about me when he goes in. My usual routine when I leave him is a smile all the way until I'm out of sight...then cry my heart out (to the point where once on a train I had 3 people ask if I was ok haha!!) then by the time I get off the train I've sorted myself out I ring my best friend she makes me laugh and I give myself a pep talk reminding myself I can do this, he's safe and I've got lots to look forward to!!!....(please remind me of all I'm saying in 4 weeks time when I'm on here glass of wine in hand crying as I type hahahaha!!)

    I hope your all doing good.... keep smiling. xxx

  16. #16
    Member Azbeee's Avatar
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    I wish you all the best ladies! I have had my love home for around a week and half now as he commissioned 13th April from RMAS and we were reminiscing about when we were at the same stage you lovely ladies are at. The weeks leading up to D Day were wonderful! Spending loads of time together, drinking far too much and hardly leaving the bedroom! *blush* I certainly hope that you are all doing the same! The first 5 weeks are the hardest ladies but it will be worth it everytime he rings you or comes home for leave!

    I will be thinking of all you on the 6th! My love will be sent off to Winchester on the 7th then we can all have a glass of wine on here together and moan about the army

    xx

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    So the last few weeks have been amazing, a couple of trips away together, lots of quality time. Then the packing of all his stuff began yesterday which made it all seem toooo real! Is anyone else feeling like this? Cant believe its coming round so quickly...although im dealing with it better than i thought, planning lots of stuff to do, then realising when ive done it all hell be home for his first weekends leave 3 days later.

    Im sure sunday will be pretty tough... but i am excited about it all in a strange way.

    Hope youre all holding up well!

    x

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    Hi Mrs P!

    The OH got back on Saturday and the packing commenced this week
    Can't believe it has arrived already but packing has been fun I've been in my Pjs with a list shouting things out whilst he runs around looking for the items and packing them haha!! We went for a day out walking one of the peaks in the Yorkshire dales today to finish breaking in his new boots.... Oh the joys lol! But was a lovely day! I'm nervous/apprehensive but excited too! I hope your enjoying these last few days . Bring it on I say ladies you will all be a lot stronger then you think you are! For now I'm stressing over what to wear lol one thing is too smart one is not enough arghhhhh! Good luck on Sunday and keep smiling!
    Oh an Mrs P I'm with you on having lots of things planned I think im almost going to feel guilty haha.

    Xxx

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    So day 1 without them...

    Yesterday was surprisingly a million times better than i imagined...although had a little breakdown when i got home...but all in all i coped a lot lot better than i expected. How are all you ladies doing?

    Cant believe its all started...but bring on the 5 weeks i say! Itll be over before we know it.... Can you tell im trying to convince myself? haha. At the moment 5 weeks seems like forever!!

    Although on the plus side...midnight came and my phone rang, and it was my OH, very tired and a bit shell-shocked but was amazing to hear his voice. Fingers crossed for more texts and phone calls over the next 5 weeks. Was not jealous of there 5.20am start this morning though!! haha.

    Hope youre all ok, and yesterday went well.

    Xx

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    Hi everyone

    My OH (I use that term loosely...)went in yesterday too. So far I'm finding it really hard not having him on the other end of the phone when I want to speak to him. I'm also used to seeing him fairly often, and it's just starting to sink in that for the next 5 weeks that's it. Feeling like a bit of a stalker texting him loads...so am avoiding that lol.

    I haven't heard from him so far. Is anybody else still waiting? I'm just keeping my fingers crossed that he's ok and looking forward to that first weekend!

    Hope you're all doing well.

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