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Discuss Sandhurst May 2012 in Partners - Wives, Girlfriends, Boyfriends, Husbands on Rear Party; You need to get over worrying about how other couples act when they are apart. As long as you and your husband are fine, and have a good way of keeping your relationship going when ...
  
  1. #241
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    You need to get over worrying about how other couples act when they are apart. As long as you and your husband are fine, and have a good way of keeping your relationship going when your not together, then that is all that should matter to you.

  2. #242
    Moderator bodger's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by loobyloo View Post
    And I should add, I'm not commenting at all on how you should behave with your OH. Or anyone else, for that fact. As Mrs P said, everyone's relationship is different. So you shouldn't come on here and criticise the way that people are coping with being apart. As long as everyone and their respective OHs' are happy, that is all that matters.
    Listen princess, if you step out of your bunched knickers for a minute read my posts you'll find that I didn't actually criticise anybody. I merely questioned and asked somebody to explain it to me.

    And as it happens I can come on here and question things, just like you can pop on and drip like a tap.

  3. #243
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    *pops cork, pours wine into glass and puts feet up for the evening to watch this one unfold*
    scuba_angel likes this.

  4. #244
    Moderator bodger's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by loobyloo View Post
    You need to get over worrying about how other couples act when they are apart. As long as you and your husband are fine, and have a good way of keeping your relationship going when your not together, then that is all that should matter to you.
    As I said above, I just asked a question but do continue to rant and rave if it passes the time for you.

  5. #245
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    Amen Willowtree! Xxx

  6. #246
    Senior Member YellowRose's Avatar
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    When my OH was in basic training I originally tried not to txt him and would just wait patiently for him to contact me, but after a few days he was worried saying I was being quiet, he said he preferred to get a few txts from me and even if he couldn't reply would love to receive them! so I did and it really helped me too just knowing I could send the odd message about my day or words of support! If I got a reply it was just a bonus ! Everyone should just do whatever works them

  7. #247
    Senior Member gentlesoul's Avatar
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    Ladies, if you think a week without contact is strange and takes some getting used to, try no contact for 3 months at a time - no texts, no emails and no phone calls whatsoever. That's life married to a submariner and it's bliss, complete and utter freedom from my mobile.

    Bodger, myself and a number of other ladies on this forum are probably a bit older than you guys and remember as adults the days before mobiles and instant gratification. So you'll have to forgive us for not understanding the need to text someone knowing they aren't actually going to be able to read the message for days.

    <wobbles off on her zimmer frame to watch Fatal Attraction>
    Silk has a stronger tensile strength than steel but is not rigid.

  8. #248
    Moderator bodger's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by YellowRose View Post
    Everyone should just do whatever works them
    And did I say they shouldn't? The fact that you're all leaping up and down suggests that you're all just a little bit too sensitive.

    The reason I joined Rear Party is because once upon a time it was a huge giggle. It's not so much now, but some of the old and bold still lurk around. It's a good job we do because where would the weekly mong find out about where the HIVE is and how to get a job when they move in with their boyfriend. And about 25% of you will want to have a good old rant when you find yourselves single in 6 months time*.




    *statistics taken from a rough count of previous Sandhurst threads and intakes.
    moomin and lawlady like this.

  9. #249
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    Like others have said I think this very much depends on the couple. I know for a fact my OH would tell me if my texts were not appreciated. On the contrary he has said he likes them, and when he gets time he always responds. I know my relationship is new, and maybe if we were married, or had been together longer things would be different. But that isn't the case. As it is I text him to let him know I'm thinking about him, and I don't really see any harm in that.

    I agree that there will come a time when he can't keep in contact as regularly as he is now, and we will deal with that as and when it happens. But at the moment this works for us so what's the harm? I don't think it's indicative of not coping in any way.

    As for mothering over not getting a response within 20 minutes, I haven't seen that on this thread. I admit that sometimes I'd like a reply sooner but I understand where he is and what his priorities are, so I never expect him to be able to get back to me within any period of time and when he does it's a nice surprise.

    Anyway my view is each to their own. Whatever makes your relationship work, do it.
    loobyloo likes this.

  10. #250
    Senior Member squirrel_pigeon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by gentlesoul View Post
    Ladies, if you think a week without contact is strange and takes some getting used to, try no contact for 3 months at a time - no texts, no emails and no phone calls whatsoever. That's life married to a submariner and it's bliss, complete and utter freedom from my mobile.

    Bodger, myself and a number of other ladies on this forum are probably a bit older than you guys and remember as adults the days before mobiles and instant gratification. So you'll have to forgive us for not understanding the need to text someone knowing they aren't actually going to be able to read the message for days.

    <wobbles off on her zimmer frame to watch Fatal Attraction>
    GS you're only 4 years older than me so put the zimmer frame down before you make me cry. Or pass it to Bodger :P

    As I've said before I'm dreading OHs first patrol as I'm so used to having him as a sounding board (and to be honest, I use him as a memory jogger too) but it's probably going to be a relief in a way to be able to get on with things and not have to fit in a phone call on a night when I really can't be arsed and neither can he. I am a chronic texter though and 3 months of silence from his end will be a bit like therapy for me.

    I wouldn't dream of sending him a load of texts when he's away that he could read on his return though - to me that's wasted effort and I know 100% that he wouldn't read them. It reminds me of Friends and the whole "18 pages, front AND back!" thing.

    Sent from my GT-S5830 using Tapatalk 2
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  11. #251
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    Quote Originally Posted by WillowTree View Post
    Yet bodger 2749 posts are your still here......

    I'm not giving up but if he does thats his loss....get me a bottle of something strong and get my on that plane to Oz!
    Yep. That's right. Because I do actually still have a connection to the forces, experiences to share and help to offer when needed. I'm not here solely for my own benefit which I don't think is a bad thing. And someone has to get rid of the spammers in patch and pads.

  12. #252
    Senior Member bootifull's Avatar
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    If I were to send Mr Boots text messages. emails, letters any form of contact he'd wonder why.
    So long as I knew within reason where he was that was ok for me.

    I'm not a needy leech sort of woman and I'm more than secure in my marriage to Mr Boots


    I came across to RP because I was asked to by ARRSE.
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  13. #253
    Moderator bodger's Avatar
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    I think there's just a big change in the new 'Army Wife'. I struggle to understand the need for constant contact but probably because when Mr B and I first got together all the Messes must have been lead lined or something and he could never get a signal. It was great. You'd see him at the weekend and actually have loads to talk about. I honestly don't know what I'd put in a text. Just let the dog out? The leccy bill's arrived? Missing you? (That last one would have himself sending round the WO to make sure I wasn't delirious).

    When I got home from work I asked Mr B, whilst he was packing for a little trip away somewhere warmer than here, whether he'd like me to send him messages whilst he's away. Actually, what I said was "Oi, bastardo, shall I text and email you while you're gone?" His response went along the lines of "what for? You've got the welfare card, ring them if you need to or talk to your coven".

    I still don't get it though.
    Feisty one likes this.

  14. #254
    Senior Member moomin's Avatar
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    It's interesting indeed. My parents aren't forces but often spend weeks apart as my dad works abroad. They probably call each other once or twice a week, they like to check in, but that's it. My grandmother think's that excessive and then talks at length about how she went 18months with only a few letters while he was in Burma during WW2.

    A combination of different personalities and changing times me thinks.

  15. #255
    Senior Member squirrel_pigeon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by WillowTree View Post
    Agreed! Guess its just the differences between old and young.
    Old?

    How are you defining old...?

    Sent from my GT-S5830 using Tapatalk 2
    "You don't think there's anything amiss? I'm sitting here wearing a red and white checked gingham dress and army boots and you think that's un-amiss?"

  16. #256
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    [QUOTE=squirrel_pigeon;153965]Old?

    How are you defining old...?



    ...please don't answer that!

  17. #257
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    Quote Originally Posted by WillowTree View Post
    Agreed! Guess its just the differences between old and young.
    Warning! Danger!

  18. #258
    Senior Member gentlesoul's Avatar
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    Seems to me that the only bitch here WillowTree is you.
    Silk has a stronger tensile strength than steel but is not rigid.

  19. #259
    Senior Member lawlady's Avatar
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    I also take exception to your remarks WT. True I haven't got an OH at Sandhurst. True I'm old and bold. However, I didn't realise that "this forum" was exclusive to the few who have. My husband served 27 years only just leaving in March so please do excuse me if I feel that I can explore different forums on RP with some degree of knowledge in what it's like to be the OH of a member of HMF.

    And as I have never been to a coffee morning please do tell what goes on.

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  20. #260
    Senior Member gentlesoul's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by WillowTree View Post
    And I didn't call anyone a bitch actually I said this is becoming a forum to bitch on. but thank you for calling me one
    If the shoe fits and all that......

    Thank god Afghanistan won't be a viable option for your other halves otherwise Welfare would have their hands full.
    Silk has a stronger tensile strength than steel but is not rigid.

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