Thread: Might have made a mistake.

It's done. Last night.

Was as horrendous as I expected it to be. She has gone to stay with friends for a few days, and we'll be talking properly at some point next week.

Again thank you all for your words, from all points of view it has enabled me to think things through clearly.

G_S

So sorry to hear that it's come to that, but if it's what was right for you, then well done for having the balls to face up to something that many people do not have the courage to do. Please don't be too hard on yourself in the coming weeks. Every one of us deserving of happiness however we find it.

My heart goes out to you both GS. I hope that when you talk you are able to find a resolution that will work for you both. Life is too short to settle for second best though - please bear that in mind xx

I'd say the hard part is defining 'in love'. I've been with the FHV nearly twenty years, are we in love who knows- does my heart race when I see him? nope, do I get all hot and bothered and hush my aching heart? nope, are we just comfy with each other, very probably, could I be bothered starting all over again- what show someone else all my saggy bits? heaven forbid , no.

Lots of sage advice hun, I'll tell you what I tell my kids, write down all the reasons to go and all the reasons to stay, does the one outweigh the other? Settling into a relationship and commitment is very scary, remind yourself why it failed with the now suddenly more glamorous and exciting ex Mrs?
If you feel you can't stay then be honest, don't prolong the agony, discuss how your feeling with her. If you decide it's worth saving then maybe counselling, or just trying to find ways to rekindle the feelings that brought you together in the first place. Relationships need to be worked on they don't keep themselves going.
There are many days when life is hard and I could see the FHV as far as I could through him, he's an irritating sh*t a lot of the time, but then I wouldn't want to live with me either. I often think we have absolutely nothing in common and are going in completely different directions with what we want and need out of life, but at the end of the day we have to change and adapt to each others needs and when I am most at peace is snuggling up on the sofa together after a hard days graft.

Good luck whatever you decide.

I'm glad you've taken the step that was needed. Hope you are both ok x

Surely some people have to settle? I Don't think it's possible for everyone to meet "the one" and have an easy marriage. Those that do are extremely lucky but you could wait a lifetime only to find out that it's never going to come along. Sometimes settling with second best is at least a shot of happiness and sometimes you might just have to work that bit harder than everyone else at it. I don't know, I've been through something similar before and the way I see it, there is too much pressure these days that society create on finding this one person who always creates butterflies in your stomach, spins your world upside down and what not. Maybe I'm a cynic but we all experience things in different ways.

Thanks for your advice, hope you work it out x

*Hugs*

A really bad time is ahead, but at the end of it lies a new beginning for both of you. I wish you both the best.

Breaking up is never easy even when you hate the other half (talking from past experience) so when you don't have any specific reason for not wanting to be with them other than knowing it just doesn't feel right, I imagine its even harder.

Despite the fact that you're probably feeling like the worst man in the world right now, I think you sound like a good bloke by doing what is right for you and what will ultimately be right for her once you've both come to terms with what has happened.

I knew a couple who had been together years, had kids together and the husband just said one day he wasn't happy and that it was over. She was heart broken and angry. Some time on she now respects him more than anyone, he left her, hurt her but didn't betray her. They are both now very happy- her with a new man who treats her like a Princess and him- still single and content.

I wish you both the very best for the future.

GS, to admit what you have has taken courage, regardless of the anonimity on this site. Just make sure that you are doing this because of the rebound effect from the first Mrs GS, and trying to find a duplicate, she doesn't exist! Good luck, and have a big hug from the not so scary Dragon xx