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Discuss Free meditation & communication day for spouses & partners - London, 20th March 2011 in Partners - Wives, Girlfriends, Boyfriends, Husbands on Rear Party; Hello there! This is my first posting of a thread... wanting to invite you to a day of meditation and insightful communication training for relationships - specially designed for Military Wives and Partners on 20th ...
  
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    Free meditation & communication day for spouses & partners - London, 20th March 2011

    Hello there! This is my first posting of a thread... wanting to invite you to a day of meditation and insightful communication training for relationships - specially designed for Military Wives and Partners on 20th March 2011, led by the London Meditation Project and funded by the Big Lottery... read on for what we are about.

    Best wishes to you all,
    Catherine
    London Meditation Project Peace of Mind Project
    contact me at [email protected]

    Spouses, partners, parents and children of service-people live every day with with the lasting effects of the military experience. Military families cope with long periods of separation, having to manage the demands of everyday life alongside the emotional impact of deep concern for a loved one's safety. You will know the stress and struggles of the soldier's return home, and the invisible wounds of war. If you are the spouse/partner/significant other of a veteran or military serviceperson, and you would like some sensitive support and understanding, please contact us, we are running events specifically for you.

    We offer supportive, friendly and effective training in meditation, mindfulness-based stress relief and non-violent communication skills to help you to feel well and happy in yourself and to increase your resources to support your loved one. You will be amongst a small group of other military partners and there will be space to share your experience, relax with the meditations, and learn new and useful skills.

    Please contact us and book yourself a place on the day!

  2. #2
    Senior Member WhiteRose's Avatar
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    Did you get permission from site admin to post this? And when you have, please let us know what experience youve had with our community in the past.

    Many thanks.
    "Nothing travels faster than the speed of light with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own special laws."

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    Hi,

    I didn't realise that I needed permission, I read the rules and agreed to them, and I didn't know permission was required. I put the thread up as suggested by a military wife and mother who was offering her help for raising awareness of this project. I am happy to talk to anyone about the work we are doing - 020 8980 9289

    with best wishes,
    Catherine

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    Senior Member WhiteRose's Avatar
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    This is an advertisement for an event so I would suggest you need permission to advertise. Publishing a number is also advertising.

    Please contact site admin.
    "Nothing travels faster than the speed of light with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own special laws."

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    With regard to experience with this community, I am new to this website. I am a faithful and deeply appreciative member of the Soldier's Heart community which is largely based in the US, and am connecting with serving and ex-service-people here to offer meditation in support of the challenges of reintegration and stress. I feel a connection as a fellow citizen and through my own personal family history with regard to military experience.

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    ok - will do that tomorrow. all best.

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    Senior Member WhiteRose's Avatar
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    Like I said, please contact site admin.
    "Nothing travels faster than the speed of light with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own special laws."

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    Administrator Bad CO's Avatar
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    Thanks to everyone and we've spoken with catherine so this is all ok!

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    Moderator Heli's Avatar
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    Thanks Catherine but when you have been dealing with the vagaries of Army life for a looong time (can anyone guess that I am waiting in for no show MHS AGAIN?) 'insightful communication training' is less appealing than a gun!

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    Ahh, but Heli, you could gain from the 'non-violent communication skills' though!

    It's a nice idea, obviously, but it's not for me. I can't think of anything worse than spending a day off work cooped up with a bunch of 'wife-ofs'. Sorry!

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    Hello
    Catherine here, meditation teacher - what can I say? I hope some of you will give this a go. The meditation and communication day is planned to be all about you and your experience - a nourishing, supportive treat for partners of servicemen - enjoyable and helpful - not a chore! It'll be relaxing, we'll cook you a great lunch, and it's a chance to learn some communication skills that can make it easier to express your own needs in life and in your relationship in a more effective way. These are skills that I believe are useful to anyone.
    The offer is meant in the spirit of respect, caring and friendliness towards all those affected by the military experience. We have spent years training and developing our skills and simply are wanting to lend a hand to anyone who feels they may benefit. Please have a look at the website before you make your judgement on what we are doing - if it's not for you, it still may be of real benefit to a friend of yours. Why not give it a try?

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    Hey Heli
    Tell me more if you can be bothered - I want to know. maybe you deserve a day off from dealing with the vagaries of Army life. The communication training part would absolutely NOT be about you being more able to put up with stuff. Guessing that you're probably not going to go for the gun option - so finding really effective ways to express anger and discontent might be good? and is a part of non-violent communication. It is not about being polite or a doormat or anything like that.
    Catherine

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    My last post was a joke Catherine. I appreciate your sweetness and your enthusiasm but your initial post reads like American psycho babble to those of us who garner all the support and understanding we need from the amazing men we are married to... and from each other.

    In my long experience of Briitsh Army wives, we are not some collective amorphous mass of walking wounded in need of someone to explain to us how to communicate or cope. We're intelligent, ironic women with big lives of our own, who can handle ourselves with the assistance of a backbone.

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    Heli, sure, of course, I knew the gun thing was a joke! And I don't at all see British Army wives as "some collective amorphous mass of walking wounded in need of someone to explain to us how to communicate or cope".
    I understand also that the military is an extremely tight knit community with a lot of strength and skill, and being interested in and/or trusting outside resources is a very individual thing and may seem unnecessary.
    Some people may in future, and have already, benefitted from what we do however, and I hope that they will feel free to participate and not feel that their backbone is somehow compromised by being open to something new. Meditation and communication is also a warrior's path. I certainly want to be able to put it across in a way that doesn't put people off by sounding like 'American psychobabble'. The London Meditation Project team are all ordinary British folks with advanced professional training and useful skills to offer - that's all - we're offering what we know best. As to sweetness and enthusiasm - yes, probably I have those qualities to some extent - I also have my own history and vulnerability, and experience, guts and passion for what I do. I am not trying to save anyone - I am interested in courageous team action for happier and healthier lives.

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    Senior Member Bakerella's Avatar
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    Heli! American psychobabble indeed. Racist.
    You'll get mixed up, of course, as you already know. You'll get mixed up with many strange birds as you go. So be sure when you step. Step with care and great tact and remember that Life's a Great Balancing Act. Just never forget to be dextrous and deft. And never mix up your right foot with your left.

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    Senior Member WhiteRose's Avatar
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    North American continental psychobabble? No, wait, most of this stuff comes from California doesn't it?

    I'm with Heli, the RN wives are not a collective, we are individuals, and if we share anything it's a deeply black sense of humour that most psychologists can't get their heads round (I speak from experience!).
    "Nothing travels faster than the speed of light with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own special laws."

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    Senior Member moomin's Avatar
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    I'm fairly sure the original poster wasn't trying to suggest that we were all alike. But this forum wouldn't be in existence if we didnt all have some sort of shared experience, that perhaps the majority of the civilian population wouldn't be able to relate to.

    The offer sounds as though it is tailored to cater for interested people with that shared experience. If you're not interested, don't go! But please embrace the diversity, some people might enjoy it!

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    Moderator Heli's Avatar
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    You're right of course Mooms about the diversity thing but the fact is WE share the experience, we learn from each other, on Patches, in Messes, right here on RP. I don't indulge in navel gazing. The very idea of it makes me cringe - and I have never been good with civvy do-gooders, however well meaning. I'm proud that I am married to a fabulous man who has taken the 'long walk' and that in the 30 years thus far he has served, he's known I would never let him down or fall to pieces. I look around my fellow contemporary Army wives and they would all, to a woman, eschew this offer, but maybe that's because we are 'old hands' with, as WR says, black humour in our arsenal, along with a stiff upper lip, our fellow wives and often careers of our own and families to sustain us. We don't need training in how to behave, or manage our emotions, we know how to. But..... I am prepared to accept that sitting around with a bunch of civvies who managed to wangle a lottery grant to teach Service wives how they should think, respond and feel, might be someone's cup of tea!

  19. #19
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    I'm going. I am looking forward to it. I think it will be interesting.

    Plus it's free tea and biccies - which is always nice.

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    Dear Heli

    I fully respect that military wives support our servicemen in the most profound way and that is a very particular experience, and for some it is like being part of a warrior caste. That is why we are offering these meditation days, out of respect for these women, and offering the skills and experience that we have in support. We are offering what we do with an attitude of sisterhood, and we will no doubt learn a lot too - it's a two way street. I also ask you to consider and respect the fact that wives and families are not the only people in our society who care and feel deeply for those who serve and suffer the effects of war, and for the spouses, partners and families who support them.

    You make some assumptions about civilian attitude ('do-gooding') which are not conducive to anyone respecting, befriending or learning anything new from anyone else. We are all citizens and can understand each other as human beings. Some veterans feel betrayed and abandoned after years of PTSD and joke about the MOD as the 'Monastery of Denial.' The stiff upper lip does not serve everybody and for some it just isn't even a possible option anymore. For some, the friendly hand of a compassionate and non-judgemental civilian may be a lifeline to hang onto when their soul feels broken. People in crisis aren't so picky about specific shared backgrounds when they find a person is genuinely there for them. While the soldiers are training how to be good soldiers, civilians have been training in other useful skills for human health and well-being and meditation is amongst them. Meditation can offer real help for those suffering from physical, emotional, mental and moral injury.

    I want to make it clear that meditation is not aimed at teaching anyone how they should think or feel. It does encourage a compassionate, accepting and courageous response to real experience. Maybe you might find more respect for meditation and for meditation teachers if you read what the soldiers actually say on our website.

    I am a civilian and I understand loss and visceral and emotional trauma in my own life experience. I have both military and civilian friends who have suffered long term PTSD as well as military friends still serving who find meditation to be a really important part of their life. I hope some people do come along to the meditation day and I salute their open-mindedness.

    FYI: we did not 'wangle a lottery grant', we have been working for 15-30 years between us in the field of meditation training, including working in prisons, rehab centres, hospices, schools and businesses, very often as volunteers, whilst working other jobs to sustain ourselves.

    I am interested in veteran/civilian dialogue - things like 'The making and un-making of a marine'. Lawrence Winters (Larry Winters) -- Making and Un-making of a Marine
    Just a thought - how would you feel about civilians in peace? Can you imagine having respect for 'them'? I wonder if some of your contempt comes from blame of the crappy civilian (and also 'religious') society which created the causes of all these terrible wars anyway? The reason I personally am interested in the well-being of war veterans and service-people is because i am a responsible citizen. I share responsibility for what they have been asked to do, the things they experience, the world that creates this whole situation. It's not what I wanted to happen but I am am still part of it all. The soldiers experience the sharpest end of 'civilisation's failures. That's why I do what I can.

    With all due respect,
    Catherine

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