Thread: a weighty issue

Different perspective here, i think. As in, Men usually haven't a clue.

I'm a big fat fatty who's managed to lose 2 stone and I have 2 to go. hubby has mentioned my weight in the past as a health and support thing. As in, 'you said you weren't feeling well and wanted to lose weight, do you really need a second piece of cake?'. But he has also mentioned it as a planning thing!

Lets face it, most of our lads are outdoorsy types, hence the job they do. And for fun, mine likes to take long walks and hikes and explore and climb rocks and do other adventuresome things. We've walked about walking hadrians wall and doing a charity walk of the mountains in peru. And previously, I was unable to enjoy these things with him because of my fitness. it was a Problem for us as a couple. he has been concerned as to whether we should start a family because he was worried I wouldn't be fit enough for motherhood- all the running around after a toddler, etc.

MAYBE he's worried about your lifestyle. Have you been more withdrawn, not doing your outdoorsy hobbies? He COULD be a bog standard tactless man with a legit concern and no clue how to go about discussing it.

Equally he could be thoughtless prick who needs a slap. Golden rule of relationships, I have found, is to have a calm discussion (chance for him to apologize/explain) and if he's still a tit, lamp him.

I'm 5.5 and weight 14st 9lb (due to lost half a stone in two weeks) and am in a size 16-18 I am doing weight watchers and gym exercise where i can but I have had 3 kids and I was in the army and really thin but I can tell you this is my OH said this to me in anyway shape or form I wouldn't tell him his penis was small I chop the F##ker off. Men have no respect :~/

I think you need to nip it in the bud either way. In my experience if a bloke thinks he can get away with saying something like that (in his brain - you don't mind...!) then he will keep on doing so, probably progressing to worse ribbing as he goes.

I think military guys can have a big problem with banter, they do it so much at work they don't seem to understand where to draw the line. Also because they are massivly desensitised to someone insulting them they can't even begin to understand the concept that it might bother you.

I don't nessesarily think you need to fly off the handle. I do think it is important that you explain that he has crossed the line, and that you find certain things hurtful and you need him to respect that you feel that way....


editied to add: be sure to use small words of just 1 or 2 syllables, pause frequently to allow him to absorb information....

Better suggestions are presented here and I hope you will come back with more update in future.