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Discuss Time to 'man up'...... in Partners - Wives, Girlfriends, Boyfriends, Husbands on Rear Party; Whenever the oh goes away for an extended period of time I always resign myself to feeling crap for a day and just embrace it, then after that I pick myself up and get back ...
  
  1. #1
    Junior Member beancounter's Avatar
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    Time to 'man up'......

    Whenever the oh goes away for an extended period of time I always resign myself to feeling crap for a day and just embrace it, then after that I pick myself up and get back to life as normal - well, as normal as possible!!

    Anyway, i woke up yesterday morning really missing the oh for no apparent reason. we haven't been able to spend any real time together recently and he's been on exercise pretty much constantly so our conversations are also few and far between. i was moping about and generally feeling sorry for myself, and then in the car boot i found one of his t-shirts which must have fallen out of his bag last time we saw each other. in my self pitying state i stood there in the street in full view of the neighbours and passing cars burying my face in his t-shirt because it smelt like him..... at which point i realised i was behaving like an absolute lunatic and needed to 'man up' and stop being such a soppy moo as the oh would say!!

    after reaching that embarassing low point i felt absolutely fine for the rest of the day - probably helped by the copious amounts of alcohol and dancing with the girls in the evening!

  2. #2
    Senior Member Special_Tree's Avatar
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    Re: Time to 'man up'......

    lol beancounter if it makes you feel any better when my and hubby 1st got together he used to commute to see me so i only saw him once every few weeks. I used to make him leave the last t shirt he wore at mnie behind one so that i knew he'd come back for it and 2 cos id then sleep in it every night cos it smelt like him and it made me feel less lonely haha wussbag i was!
    Now i try and boot him onto the sofa cos he nicks most of the bed!!!
    "Never say never, because limits, like fears, are often just an illusion"

  3. #3
    Senior Member becsj's Avatar
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    Re: Time to 'man up'......

    Love this post - mainly because I (and, I imagine, most others on RP) can completely relate. Unfortunately, as much as I tell myself to man up, there are days which I feel like poo and no matter of words to myself can snap me out of it, and each time I feel down in the dumps, something have to happen for me to hit rock bottom and that is magic, because I almost instantly feel good again!

    My most recent example was feeling rubbish for a few days, couldn't snap out of it. Then, having been surgically attached to my phone since OH left, I let go of it for 10 minutes after answering the front door and missed a call. Undoubtedly the worst feeling I've felt in a looooong time, but after having a very healthy ( ) cry, felt better than I had in the last week!

    Talk about having 30 emotions a day! Haha!

    Glad your feeling a bit better, though, beancounter D

    Bec x

  4. #4
    Junior Member xKittyx's Avatar
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    Re: Time to 'man up'......

    haha im same as you special tree.
    Also miss sleeping next to him like mad, but then hate it when he comes back due to snoring, quilt stealing, always forgetting to turn his alarm off so i get woken up at 6am on a bloody sunday! etc.

    Don't feel like a lunatic beancounter, most if not all of us do/have done it at some point altho maybe not in the middle of the street lol

    x

  5. #5
    Junior Member Sara-Jayne's Avatar
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    Re: Time to 'man up'......

    I am new to this site and I have found it really helpful to read everyones comments, my OH has only been at Raleigh 2 weeks and it stinks I feel I spend every evening staring at my mobile waiting for my bedtime call, I have no motivation to leave the house after I get home from work its like my life is on hold. I dont want to be at a friends house incase he calls and then we cant talk in private... but I also know I cannot spend the next 7 weeks in bed (apart from when at work), I am off on holiday on Tuesday and may not even be able to speak to him for 11 days, I really don't want to be miserable all holiday so I am trying to snap out of it, and think that things could be much worse

  6. #6
    Junior Member beancounter's Avatar
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    Re: Time to 'man up'......

    Really feel for you SJ - we've all been there! my OH is back from exercise today so have been on tenterhooks all day waiting for his phone call - double checking my phone when i know full well i'd have heard it if it had rang. and after 6 years together i've still got excited butterflies about being able to speak to him, although knowing me i'll just waffle on about nonsense while he struggles to say awake after a long week of sleep deprivation! xx

  7. #7
    Senior Member becsj's Avatar
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    Re: Time to 'man up'......

    I've PM-d you SJ. x

  8. #8
    Junior Member Sara-Jayne's Avatar
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    Re: Time to 'man up'......

    Do you get to live with your partner BC when he is back? How often do you get to see him? I know I am going to have to get used to him being away a bit, but he says it shouldnt be too often as he has chosen a land based career... I hope this is right as im not sure I could handle him being away constantly x

  9. #9
    Senior Member becsj's Avatar
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    Re: Time to 'man up'......

    Me and OH have been pretty lucky, he's only had a few weekend exercises apart from his long training courses abroad (and only 2 of those). So it's pretty much like a 9-5 (ish) job for us, and he has annual leave he can take whenever , obv as long as it doesn't coincide with something important.

    But he's off for 6-9 months to build sandcastles in September, which will be tough, but it sure makes you appreciate eachother.! Our relationship is so happy, loving etc because we know what a waste it would be to argue and not make the most of time together with his upcoming tour...

  10. #10
    Junior Member beancounter's Avatar
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    Re: Time to 'man up'......

    we don't live together unfortunately, he's based in NI and i'm tied to my job over here but when we're not in the build up to his 6 month sandy holidays we see each other at least twice a month - usually more. the plan is to eventually try and co-ordinate our jobs to the same area and live together, but for now we're just trying to make the most of doing the whole long distance thing, and we've definately found some benefits along the way! mainly how much more we appreciate each other and the time we have together, so many of my friends moan about their relationships going 'stale' which just isn't an option! but my favourite thing about the long distance is that he writes me letters - there is nothing better than coming home after a long day at work and seeing his handwriting on an envelope!!

  11. #11
    Junior Member xKittyx's Avatar
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    Re: Time to 'man up'......

    aww thats so sweet, my favourite thing is the morning of the day he's due home especially when i haven't seen him for weeks, an i get really excited an butterflys. couples in the "real world" only really get that when they first get together, but nearly a year on and i still get to enjoy the excitement

    x

  12. #12
    Member Ditsie-Dotty's Avatar
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    Re: Time to 'man up'......

    sooooo glad i'm not alone with this...LOL i'm also apart from OH, 5th month now, and its been hard but unlike when he was away on subs we actually chat every night and it's great, it's the highlight of my day - his call...my phone never ever leaves my side, i learnt this by him being away in Navy, not knowing when i would hear from him next...but now he's in Army it's slightly better, we've seen each other about 3 times in 5mths but hey ho it's life and not for long......he'll be home R&R soonies...YAY!

    I always make sure the bedding is fresh for the day he comes back, always done that, If he goes away i like not to wash at least one item of clothing so I can smell it...(yeah minger) lol...makes me all warm inside just the scent of your man when he's away...
    I get butterflies everytime we meet up after a while apart 8yrs on, glad to say we have been through rocky times and the really rocky times but we are so in love it doesnt matter much!

    You cant beat the feeling of the day your oh comes home.....it's the best!!!

    x

  13. #13
    Junior Member xKittyx's Avatar
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    Re: Time to 'man up'......

    hehe time for all the truths to come out now, i also keep one of his shirts to sleep in (an heres where i start to sound like some crazy woman) when i wash the bedding when hes away, i dont wash his pillow case until the day before he comes back so that when im half asleep in the morning eyes still shut, i can roll over and smell him an pretend he's there.

    Hoping he never ventures on here an reads it otherwise he'll think im mental an call of the wedding lol

    x

  14. #14
    Junior Member Sara-Jayne's Avatar
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    Re: Time to 'man up'......

    I have kept my OH's hooded jumper, I wear it to laze around the house in and helps me feel close to him... I also have been naughty and let my dogs sleep in my bed at night to keep me company, my OH is not amused all his discipline training with them is going right out the window haha

  15. #15
    Junior Member Peachy's Avatar
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    Re: Time to 'man up'......

    Im new to this all too. My OH has been away for 3 weeks now and have another 4 to go unil i get to see him again and what makes it worse is that im only going to be able to see him for 1 night before he goes off again for another 7 weeks. I have my phone with me at all times and like BC i=and check my phone constantly even though i would have heard it if had rang. I sleep in my OHs t-shirt to cheer me up a bit makes you feel little closer. This site has made me feel so much better to know that other people are in the same situation and makes you feel better.

  16. #16
    Member Ditsie-Dotty's Avatar
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    Re: Time to 'man up'......

    ahh once you live the life of forces you automatically become a nutter it's part and parcel of it...lol
    Someone i'm sure will help with advice etc when needed..

    What is your OH doing? where is he?

  17. #17
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    Re: Time to 'man up'......

    There are lots of single mothers in the country who are bringing up their kids on their own how about them ? there are single girls who havent been in relationships for years ? i can tell you far worst stories if you want ? I can understand it is hard but the way you guys go on and on about it all the time ! seriously , something doesnt sound right ! why cant you read a book or something ! oh no civilians wifes dont love thier husands and guess they can have them by thier side all the time, urm no, some work so hard that they hardly get to spend any time togather, some have two jobs trying to better themselves off, and some just plain cheating just like yours.... ph God my God, that " couples in the real world" post above, that made my laugh so much, yeah right, we are the real world, and you are some fairy tale ? is it then ?

  18. #18
    Senior Member SebastianStreet's Avatar
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    Re: Time to 'man up'......

    Hi Kim, are you new here?
    Is everything alright, do you have anything you'd like to get off your chest?

    Sebastian

  19. #19
    Moderator Gonzo's Avatar
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    Re: Time to 'man up'......

    Quote Originally Posted by kimsmiles
    There are lots of single mothers in the country who are bringing up their kids on their own how about them ? there are single girls who havent been in relationships for years ? i can tell you far worst stories if you want ? I can understand it is hard but the way you guys go on and on about it all the time ! seriously , something doesnt sound right ! why cant you read a book or something ! oh no civilians wifes dont love thier husands and guess they can have them by thier side all the time, urm no, some work so hard that they hardly get to spend any time togather, some have two jobs trying to better themselves off, and some just plain cheating just like yours.... ph God my God, that " couples in the real world" post above, that made my laugh so much, yeah right, we are the real world, and you are some fairy tale ? is it then ?
    Kim,

    I don't know if I am misreading this or something, but. How dare you. I was a single parent for eight years. I had to put up with mental and physical mistreatment by my ex husband, work a full time job and study. Yes it is hard being a single parent. However when your husband is being deployed and you are not sure whether the love of your life is going to walk back through that door in 6 months, or if he will walk back through the door in one piece or not - well it is a real fear. Yes people do work two jobs and don't see much of their partner, but it's not like they can't get on the phone to them, or book a holiday and have time off together, or at least know when they are going to walk through the door again.

    Sometimes this life is a nightmare, but I think most of us would agree - our husbands/wives/boyfriends/girlfriends are worth it. If you have issues in your life and need help ask away, but don't come on here slating something you clearly know nothing about.

    To everyone else I know my laptop should have gone by now but the packers haven't turned up yet.

    Hope you are all well and have a great few weeks.

    Sam x

  20. #20
    Member blonde_moment's Avatar
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    Re: Time to 'man up'......

    I'm exactly the same. I make hubby wear his dressing gown (almost) constantly when he's home so that when he goes, it smells of him, & I'm another one who doesn't wash his pillow case... this way, I make a "pillow husband" out of his pillow & dressing gown that I cuddle at night. How sad is that?

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