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Married and Unmarried Partners What you Need To Know
If your partner is being deployed for the first time in your relationship, you may be uncertain of what information you need, or who to contact about your partner’s status in emergencies.
Here are some things you need to know, in order to preserve your sanity during this time! Your partner can provide #1 and #2, so it’s a good idea (if a bit uncomfortable) to sit down and discuss these things before he or she leaves.
1) The name and contact info of his or her Unit Welfare Officer (also known as the Families Officer). This is the key person to guide you in your quest for information; it’s the Welfare Officer’s job to assist you.
2) The name and contact information of his Next of Kin (NOK), if your soldier has not changed his or her docs to reflect your name yet. This is usually his or her parents. Your soldier can also list you as an “additional nominee†for NOK, if he or she does not wish to remove their parents’ names.
3) For information on sending “blueys†and “e-blueys†(or methods for communicating in writing with your partner while he or she is away) as well as sending parcels, visit http//www.bfpo.mod.uk.
The Welfare Officer can also provide inquiring partners with packets of information about the kind of thing their S.O.s will be doing, and information about social gatherings (more so overseas than in the U.K.).
Moreover, the Welfare Officer is your point person for information about incidents during operations.
Unfortunately, the way most of us first hear about incidents these days is on the news. If an incident is reported that might involve your partner’s unit, please try to remember the following
1) DON’T listen to rumours. Listen to what the Welfare Officer says. He or she is the only person that is qualified and authorised to give out information.
2) If there have been casualties, you may not get any information from the Welfare Officer at all until the NOKs have been notified. Also, the NOKs are generally told within 24 hours (or as soon as they can be located). If you have heard nothing in that time, then you can probably breathe just a bit easier.
3) If you have been calling your partner on a mobile number, DON'T call immediately to find out what happened. Mobile calls are restricted by the unit if a major incident has occurred, and you'll only succeed in jamming the line and frustrating yourself.
Land lines and Internet access will be shut down as well. Wait for them to contact you, as there is no way of knowing how long restricted comms will be in place. If your soldier is OK, they’ll get in touch with you. (Tough advice, I know, but doing nothing may be better than doing something in this case.)
Don’t forget You’re allowed to ask questions, and the Welfare Officer is there to help your SO. Which includes helping you at critical times!
Advice for Unmarried Partners
If you are an unmarried partner, with or without children, there are some aspects about your situation that it’s important to understand
1) The Army does NOT consider you a “non-entity†just because you and your significant other are not married. The Army family organisations exist to help everyone who supports and loves a British soldier.
2) Realistically, it is important to recognise that the Army is not legally bound to recognise unmarried partners, either straight or gay. But this does not mean you cannot be part of the information tree if you and your partner have laid the groundwork. If your partner can give your “unofficial†information to the Welfare Officer before leaving, this will help the process.
3) If you have not met your partner’s NOK yet, it could present some potential awkwardness should you need to contact them at a critical time. However, in our opinion, this is information that every partner should have; if your partner doesn’t want to provide it to you, well, that’s another discussion entirely.
4) If your soldier lists you as an “additional nominee†for NOK, you may not be the first person notified if something is wrong. But at least you’ll be on the record somewhere. And any Welfare Officer worth their salt will extend themselves to include you when necessary…they have usually been commissioned from the ranks, and know what the average soldier is going through.
5) Remember, as long as your S.O. has made it known to the Welfare Officer that they wish to include you, he or she is your first and best resource for information.
With Much Thanks To TankiesYank
Questions on the above text can be added here, however as they are answered the text WILL be altered and grow. The original question will then be deleted to keep this thread short and the information easily available.
PLEASE NOTE I WILL HACK AWAY AT THIS THREAD AND ALL THANKS AND SUCH WILL GO 'PUFF' AND BE GONE.... ONLY POST REQUESTS FOR INFO AND SUCH, IF RELEVANT OR OF USE THEY WILL APPEAR HERE WITH THE GENERAL INFO TO ENABLE EASY ACCESS.
Beebs x
Further to the hoax calls informing Next of Kin that their loved one had been involved in an incident...Originally Posted by bossyboots
And here's roughly how it happens, according to my welfare sources:
In the event of a casualty, the Joint Compassionate Cell, a central 24/7 body of the MoD in London, is informed through the Chain of Command almost immediately. This group notifies the Casualty Visiting Officer in the area of the Next of Kin, who gets the details together and visits them in person. The Casualty Visiting Officer is usually accompanied by a police officer to clear up concerns about hoaxes, and a SSAFA rep (usually with some counseling skills).
I believe that the police unobtrusively check first to see if the Next of Kin are in, for the visit.
As stated above, the Next of Kin would never be notified over the phone by the Army. Yes, it has unofficially happened...someone with a mobile phone serving with the soldier in question (also a friend) has apparently called to offer his condolences before the family was notified.
Obviously one of the reasons the Army is so uptight about controlling comms from the area, and a point that I feel is important to make in the interest of reality and reminding people why the rules exist.
Unfortunately, there is no guaranteed way to stop someone-with-phone syndrome. But the official notification would come from the Casualty Visiting Officer, in person.
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) ran Welfare for sveral dozen Sqn families during TELICS I & II so there should be plenty of good advice available.
