Thread: Need a place to moan? Don't need a reply? Fill your boots!

We all have 'off' days; perhaps us lot more than others do.

I remember sitting not really thinking about anything one day when the brothers Grim had just gone off a few years ago and realising I'd not thought of them for a whole morning.

I wanted to explain to the people around me why I suddenly felt so bloody awful, but KNEW they'd not have a clue.

They'd make the right sounds, but they'd not understand the feeling of loving a person so much that to not have them in your head for a whole morning, not to acknowledge them to yourself was in a way to forget them and to envisage what time could do to you..... And so I started a diary.

I still write in it from time to time, usually when I'm mad at me or others that I don't want to confront cos the 'mad' is SO petty it's not worth it! The sounding off helps and, I believe if others read it, apart from pee'ing themselves laughing, they might just see times in there that they felt like screaming about as well.

So...... here you go...... Your turn, no replies needed. Just a sound off where you write the annoying thing down and fuff it off into the cyber waves or whatever else Ghostie and the other EggHead people call it......

I'm sounding off because.......

....I can!

Okay tonight I have no reason to but if I did you'd ALL know about it!

Beebs x

ok, this one has been bugging me for a while...

invited good friend of mine who is single to a mess night with me and OH.
She refused by saying that she wasn't interested because everyone knew that army officers were desperate and would go with anyone that would have them.

I am still annoyed about this comment as it was said in a way to reflect upon me and my OH. I just can't believe she said something like that, in the way that she did. Still reeling, even now!!

Well, that sounds like a reason to slap her chops with a wet fish! schlafenmonster, however my gripe is a teenage son..oh yes! Now whether this is entirely legal or not, i have no idea but...i am desperate to give him free to a home. Any home as long as its not my home.
So if anyone out there feels they can offer a space to a strange creature who cannot communicate apart from the occassional muffled grunt, unless its asking for something specifically like, can you lend me a tenner, whats for tea, and wheres my jeans?
On the rare occassions it comes home, it likes to reside in the equivelent of a council dump it which it calls a bedroom, usually with a female form of its self. You know the strange creature is home because food will disappear from the fridge / cupboards and your neighbours are threatening to report you to the enviromental health for the horrendous noise coming from its pit that it likes to call music.
It can communicate quite well with other similar creatures, but in a language you will never undestand. It thinks that telephoes are for calling anyone except its family and on the odd occassion that it does, its not to tell you that they wont be home for tea, but to tell you that the fairground dodgem they like to call a car had yet again broken down and can you come and rescue them?, you know the type, they gather with other dodgem cars in large retail parks at night, that emit loud horrendous noises and have lots of blue flashing lights, either attatched to their fairground dodgems, or chasing their fairground dodgems ( i believe these are classed as police cars)
On the rare times that you can hold the creature still for long enough to try and point out the error of its ways the creature becomes quite upset and tries to turn the tables by saying that you will never understand because you have never been a young creature yourself and what on earth could you possibly know about their ways?
The creature who lives with me works in a fairly good job, but only in order to earn money to spend in shops such as Ted Baker so that he can look and smell good when he socialises with other creatures, usually so that they can snare a female creature who understands perfectly that spending a tenner on 1 pair of Ted baker socks is a sound investment, but investing for the future is utterly ridiculous.
So, if any of you good people out there feel that you could offer a small corner of your home to such a creature, please dont hesitate to get in touch, any offer however small will be greatly appreciated.
Thank you.

Had phone call from my daughter's father last night ...hes just been posted to Italy ...(he's US Army) has told me hes coming over for a long wkend on the 7th July bringing with him his wife and his other daughter (which will be great for my daughter as she has only met her dad twice in her life and shes 11)...I didn't get off to a good start with his wife as when Aaliyah's dad was in Iraq she emailed me and told me that noone would stop her getting to know her step-daughter 8O ... I have spoken to her a few times after that but I am weary of her and my Billy goes to Iraq on the 4th July so I dunno how I am gonna be...STRESSED!!! comes to mind lol...Of course I will be a lady... lol always am :twisted: lol ...but because my Billy will be newly deployed and the fact I aint so sure of his wife...I am a bit worried on how I will react if she throws in some digs at me... as she has done on the phone a few times ...but I let it go... I wont have my Billy around to calm me down.... Sorry lol just needed to get that off my chest lol

funkyqueenbrit, do what i used to do with my ex mum in law, smile sweetly, offer another cuppa and dont lower yourself to her level...oh and this is best done while your thinking all sorts of nasty things obviously..lol.

just a ickle moan but.......why is it petite ranges are always on the bloody highest coathangers??? not that i'm petite ops: but i am short! do ya think the assistants do it on purpose then snigger from the back of the store? bloody annoying is what it is! rant over sorry got too much time on my hands this evening :?

Originally Posted by tinky_winky

just a ickle moan but.......why is it petite ranges are always on the bloody highest coathangers??? not that i'm petite ops: but i am short! do ya think the assistants do it on purpose then snigger from the back of the store? bloody annoying is what it is! rant over sorry got too much time on my hands this evening :?

Also why do the petite ranges stop at size 16? Manufacturers automatically assume that if you are over a size 16 you must be 10 feet tall!!!

Still on clothes stores,why do they cram so must clobber on to the arms that when you pick a garment off all the bloody lot falls off and you already have six things to try on so you don't have enough hands to pick them all up and the store detective glares at you and comes over to pretend to 'browse', easily recognised as they have an empty wicker? basket and look like they shop in M&S/ Debs/H of F.. when they are working in Primark/Newlook, so then you get to the changing rooms with your six items and guess what you can only take five in? bugger which shall i leave because they all go together and i want to try them all on at once, and your sig other is waiting outside the changing rooms, that is until you actually go in and try on...then they mirculously dissapear so you end up asking the bloke who's wife is in the next cubicle what your hotpant/boob tube combo looks like in freezing february with your froggy socks on because no one sees them under your boots.......or is it just me? 8O

My rant of the day....cash machines!!

Why oh why?

Its pouring with rain and your in a hurry, theres only 1 person at the machine, great you think.Until....

The stupid moron in front of you has absolutely no bloody idea what he's doing! He stands there pushing various buttons with a look of utter confusion on his chops while the machine has a nervous breakdown to the point of being unable to emit even the smallest of beeps. Eventually moron realises that...he has no money in his account!! so....not to be outwitted by a mere machine..oh no, he rummages through his wallet and produce yet another card..waaaaaaargh.

By now i am late, i'm dripping wet and i want to shove morons head straight through the machine's display while laughin manically, just give him a bloody tenner FFS.

Eventually, moron gives it up, turns and says..not workin mate. AARGH.

....at which point you use your conveniently razor sharp card edge to slice down his chest reach in and drag out his heart while saying sweetly, 'Oh well I'll just swim to the next one!'?

Beebs

..

Pixie you would love where I live!
I moved here 2 years ago after itchy feet in another part of the country. Immediately fell in love with the house I viewed and decided after very little research to move here and make a fresh start.
I now know that I am in a very small minority. Everyone here appears to be somewhere between the age of 70 and death.
In fact, there are so many old people here that even the shop windows are bi-focal!
Thursday mornings are a no-go into the village shopping area. Every conceivable invalid carriage makes a bee-line for the local Post Office to discuss the latest exciting installment regarding Mrs Jones's geraniums, old Bert's piles and the latest news about "that woman, you know, her that ran off with the american soldier in 1944, hussey!"

..

Men!! not just any man, but ALL men!!.
Why is it that men have the ability to sit transfixed by the T.V while chaos is all around them? That is until they feel that their masculinity or their wallet is under threat. Suddenly they come to life so fast that you stagger back and fall on the warm seat their bottom has just parted company from.
A classic example..1 evening i had the misfortune of having a blocked kitchen sink. I trotted off to get a bucket, placed it under the trap and while my head was stuck under the kitchen sink, dear husband of the ruffti tuffti soldier type decided to leave his 'riverting' t.v programme to have a snuffty at the strange sounds and general hoo ha. Obviously macho man upon deciding that a mere woman is laughably incapable of such complicated tasks, sets about doing the job himself! Now macho man as we know him wont be satisfied with just unscrewing the trap, oh no wot? dont be ridiculous woman and get the kettle on! Nope, macho man decides that not only does the entire plumbing system need dismantling, but also the kitchen sink, cupboard, washing machine and lord knows what other kitchen appliance that looks even remotely connected to the aforementioned pipework. A few choice phrases later that has mrs none macho woman blushing at her roots, he decides that the offending blockage simply must be outside! So leaving the kitchen looking like a small scale beirut, he decides, bear in mind this is 22.00 and dark, that he simply must venture outside, with a torch strapped to his head and inspect the drainage. 3 hours of digging later, by which time the garden is only recoverable by Alan Titchmarsh and co, he's back in the kitchen, looking very much like rambo, growling, sweating and basically frothing at the mouth. Unable to concede defeat and shouting down any suggestions of calling a plumber ( by now i'm having a breakdown and the dog has left home) he attacks the sink again with the ferocity of a jack russel with a rat. I make the mistake of saying, well dear perhaps..... before my ears are ringing with every known expletive known to man...and a few that aren't. Rooted to the spot i can only watch in fascination as my once beautiful kitchen is reduced to rubble by macho man on a mission! Suddenly he pops out from under the sink, after banging his head for the 50th time and holds up the trap!! which contains a few peas and some unidentifiable gungy type object. With a satisfied grin of a job well done he pats himself on the back smugly while giving lessons in the correct way to scrape crockey before washing up. Ladies take note, save your kitchen, garden and sanity by NOT telling him the sinks blocked, simply wait until he goes to work the following day and then call a ruddy plumber!!
:roll:
I posted this on arrse but it seems to be a problem only us ladies can understand and emphasise with.

MEN! Why do they wait until your out of ear shot to make some remark AFTER you have had an argument?

You walk out of the room get half way down the stairs (in my case) and you hear irate mumblings from the room you just left. Loud enough for it for you to hear not loud enough to hear what is being said at your departing back.

If you go back in the room and ask them to repeat they say I said NOTHING...

ARRRRRRRRGHHHH!!!!

My response was...If your not brave enough to say it to my face don't say it at all, I dont believe the claw hammer I was swinging had any influence at all.

My daughter has gone to the park ... I know it may not be a biggie, but a young girl was raped there a few months back ..... 1st 1/2 day of Easter Holiday's ... I am beside myself with worry lol ... I said she could go yesterday as I was gonna take my son so I could have kept an eye on her ... but cant do that as my son has measels :? ... She's 11 and was gonna meet her mates there which is ok but its the fact what if they werent there and she has to wait by herself :cry: ... OMG lol I am turning into a possessive, psychotic mother - altho my daughter would most probably disagree with me ... she'd say I have always been that way lolol

Why is it, you wait pateintly in a queue, for hwatever reason, bus supermarket etc then just as you are about to be served some old woman pushes infront of you.

That I could cope with but she brings along all of her urine smelling friends to be served before you and the stupid witch behind the counter serves them.

Whats the point of queueing when people just push in anyway. If I did it to them they would rip me apart (very viscious OAP's here)

T-T

Ex that tears your life apart by infidelity, rips your heart out & then months later keepes txting in the middle of the night about how broken hearted he is..... :cry: :evil:

I know how that feels ... Dated a guy for a year just b4 I got together with Billy ... he finished it (by text :x) Said it he didnt know why he finished it but still loved me so much :? ... I was devastated ... then when I finally thought feck you and stopped feeling sorry for myself he texts and emails me ...."How are you? .. Hope you are well, just wanted to say I still and always will love you, hope we can talk soon" .. so I added him back to messenger (silly I know )... 1st convo I got was ... "I still love you Juliet ... am so scared, what if I have let 'the one for me' go :?." "Oh by the way I went out last night had a fab time wouldnt say I got laid but had fun" 8O ... "Oh and can I ask you summit? "Was I good in bed?" 8O .... Bastard lol ... before I blocked and deleted him ... I said " Wanna know the truth?... I faked them all" :wink: :twisted: I have had a few emails from him asking how I am and hoping we can talk again soon as he misses our chats :? etc ... they go straight to junk mail now :lol:

Originally Posted by Eye_of_Newt

Also why do the petite ranges stop at size 16? Manufacturers automatically assume that if you are over a size 16 you must be 10 feet tall!!!

LMAO I have the opposite being 5'9" (6' in heels) I can never find trousers or dresses long enough and moan they are made for dwarves :lol: Also why as a size 18 are most things made in crimplene or other grotty nylon type fabrics :evil: