Thread: Need a place to moan? Don't need a reply? Fill your boots!

I'd like to nominate my multiple bosses (I'm self-employed) who seem to think I've got a team of magical elves working for me in order to produce things for 'yesterday' that they only ask for today or keep changing their minds about. If you keep phoning me to check how things are going, not only will that throw me off, it wastes my time, FFS!! :x
Excuse me while I go flush my head down the toilet in frustration....
SC

My washing machine has decided to break while i have the kids good clothes in there it wont spin or drain so its full of water and the door wont open GGRRRRRRR

If you can, flick the switch on fuse box that covers the electricity supply to the washer, then depending on the type of machine you have, the door should now open. Just don't forget a big bowl to catch all the water!!
SC

Traffic, congestion, jams GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!
People blocking roundabouts so no one can move any where and ignoring the traffic lights! Its all me me me I need o move those few inches to get ahead, never mind the people who could move on if you were not blocking my exit GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
3 hour drive into work and 2 hour back, all because someone is incapable of keeping their veheicle on the road.
All starts again tomorrow!

My house just flooded :crybaby:

Some time during the night Niagara Falls came over the back of my fence, wrecked the shed, and made it's way down the path to my back door. The living room carpet is a write-off, but luckily it only went to a height of about 3 cm so all the furniture is ok.

I think I'll take down the nice plaque I had made that I was going to hang on the front of the house (Far Corfe...geddit?) and rename my house Boscastle :toothy2:

Today ladies and gents I would like to rant about the agents that let the flat to me and my flatmates. We have a damp problem and after a visit from the council we asked for them to provide a dehumidifier. Got an email (3 weeks after the request was made) proudly stating that we are going to be the new owners of a dehumidifer on Monday, with the argos ref no and all. So I went to check in the argos catalogue exactly which one we were going to get and it seems that what is actually on order is the cheapest meanest air purifier/ioniser, NOT a dehumidifer. This was ordered by the same bloke who pointed to the hot water tank and said'Oh and this is the new boiler, don't use the old one as its probably unsafe.'
When I pointed out to him that it was actually a hot water tank, not a gas boiler he swiftly back tracked any comment about the safety of the gas boiler.

So, slightly unsettled by this, I asked for a gas safety certificate, which I duly received. It expired last month. So far, there has been no visit to the property by an engineer so I have just sent a snot-o-gram to them about the fact that what they are doing is illegal. Perhaps this might encourage them to act.

Oh and did I mention the fact that the washing machine doesn't work unless you hold the on button in place? Hoping (well trying to anyway) that this will also be sorted.

Tomorrow, there may well be a rant about the cost of mobile phones. My handset has died and so I am off to the phone shop tomorrow to find out about the cost of a new one.

Today i would like to gripe about kids....oh yes!! :twisted:

Imagine life before kids, thereafter known as BK. It was just the two of you and then boooomph!! before you could say piles, your tummy grew at an alarming rate, your clothes no longer fitted, your knickers were always in a permanent roll under your tummy, you craved curry with strawberry jelly and a sprinkling of coal on the top if you please and you suddenly became obsessed with buggies and all things baby. People fussed and fretted and surely if you didn't have this baby like sometime now, your tummy would explode, your knee's would cave in and your ankles would never be seen again 8O

Move on

Now its life after kids, thereafter knows as AK. You now have a red faced irritable infant in your arms, your tummy looks like an outside shrivelled balloon and your ankles are only viewable via a full length mirror, a distant dream as you never have time to look in a mirror. Your hair is like straw, the bags under your eyes would carry a family of fours luggage for a two week holiday and the sink is threatening to collapse under the weight of the crockery in it. You have forgotten the joys of sex, although your OH keeps begging for a chance to show you until you threaten to chop it off with a pair of rusty secataurs before throwing yourself off the nearest cliff. You are determined to get back into your pre pregnancy clothes 'tomorrow' while you hunt for the hoover amongst the clutter of baby paraphanalia. :cry:

Move on

Baby is now at school, your house is slowly resembling a home rather than toys 'r' us meets early learning centre and you discover the joys of adult conversation once more. You have forgotten the uncomfy bump, the labour and the threat of removing yout OH todger. Oh happy days.

Move on

Now your baby is a teenager...and its hell, you can't remember the days of BK or even the early days of AK, now your in the hellish world of teenagers. Its not yourself you want to sling off a cliff anymore, but that bolshy teenager who was such a darling baby. Never mind the sleepless nights and messy house of yesteryear, they're teenagers and your still having sleepless nights in a messy house.
They want to be with their friends and do as their friends do, who are you to interfere? you dont know anything, you have never been young yourself, what could you possibly know about it? :roll:

Your utility bills soar through the roof, the electric because the daughter has traded her barbie doll in order to look like barbie doll, so her bedroom light, hairdryer, straighteners, television and stereo are all taking their toll on the national grid. The telephone bill goes through the roof because while she is drying, straightening, watching coronation street to the soundtrack of some boy band, whose posters incidentally, cover the wall, she is yapping away to her best mate, who she only left at the garden gate 5 minutes ago. More to the point they are actually waving to each other through their respective bedroom windows while they converse about things that you cannot possibly understand because 'your old' :twisted:

Dont think you get away with this with a son..oh no :twisted:

The same scenario applies, quite often with the straighteners as he competes with sister for the best barnet title and argue over who is using the shower first, this often results in sister throwing the grandma of all wobblers complete with door slamming and shouting. :twisted:

Meanwhile you and the OH sit on seperate armchairs silently wondering how all those years ago you crooned and basked in the glory of having a beautiful bundle and now your in the middle of a war zone. You cringe at the various bangs and bumps that emit from the top of the house as brother and sister slug it out yet again. Suddenly the lounge door bursts open, making you jump and spill your tea and the never ending ' maaaaaaaaaaam tell hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiim' rings in your ears. Obviously another row breaks out as the accused offspring tries to defend their own corner.
Whatever you say, whatever you do.......you cannot win, you will be accused of taking sides, you will be a totally horrible mother, offspring will hate you, the dog will hate you, even the neighbours will hate you, but thats only because of the bloody row coming through the wall.

Your only saving grace is....one day they will get married, the scenario will be repeated and you will sit smug in your now peaceful home with your feet up and wondering whats its like to sleep with a grandad. :lol:

Originally Posted by ScottishCanuck

If you can, flick the switch on fuse box that covers the electricity supply to the washer, then depending on the type of machine you have, the door should now open. Just don't forget a big bowl to catch all the water!!
SC

turning off the elec worked thanks. its the pump that has gone grrrr. but the problem now is my keyboard is knackard as i spilt water on it grrrrrrrr. so im typing this wih my mouse on the on-screen keyboard and its taken me 20 mins so far. hopefully it will dry out toight. im just wondering whats next as bad luck comes in 3's

John Lewis sells a waterproof keyboard - it was quite cheap too
SC

Now THAT'S a good idea

Today I’d like to multi rant!

I moved into my new apartment on the 1st September, I love it! I signed the contract and no where did it state pets were not allowed; I also asked the land lady before hand if I could have my cat and she said yes. She is now asking that I keep him out on my balcony, which is not very big, I told her I would but I don’t. She then decided to watch my apartment from the outside then called to say the cat was in the apartment, I told her that I know and wasn’t going to stop this. Her flat is through an agency and I visited them with one of the many complaints. They basically said, unless she wants to rent the flat £150 cheaper, no one else would live there (it’s expensive but it’s fully furnished, right by work and my friends and saves me £200 a month due to not traveling). So she let the animal thing go, I didn’t tell her that he was the cat who pee’d on her car’s convertible roof :twisted:

Next gripe, I have a nice family living with me, ANTS!!!! I’ve asked her to get an exterminator in, which she did but turned out to be a cleaner. She says they are there due to the apartment being dirty, FACT 1, I am a cleaning addict, I hate dirt and you will not find one spec of dust any where, I’m like Bree out of desperate house wives when it comes to my home (might explain why I am single). I then decided to tackle this on my own, £3.00 spent and 4hrs later, no ants, bastewards are all dead MWAAHHHHHHHH. Land lady now tells me that I have to pay damages to the woodwork, what frigging damages! NOTHING! Ok so the powder left a little stain that I have dealt with and it’s gone. I re-visited the agents for a 2nd time since I’ve lived there, they sent an inspector round and he OK’d everything.

Gripe 3; the double bed in the apartment is broken, it dips down in the middle, my mate lived there before me and I really don’t want to know what he was doing before hand! I’ve asked my land lady to replace the bed, nothing expensive, just a nice double bed that’s not going to have me walking around like lurch, did she comply? Did see fark! Wants me to pay for the bed, I agree’d but only on the basis that I keep in when I move, so she finds me a cheap sack typo bed that squeaks every 6 seconds! Yet again, 3rd trip to the agents (they really love me, they even brought PG tip tea bags and jammy dodgers for my next arrival, I ain’t kidding). 1 hour later and I have a king sized bed, not a double but a lovely king size from the Habitat shop, arriving next week!

The clause in the contract is simple, she can’t kick me out without paying up the 6 months paid up front rent, so she’ll grin and bare, plus she is the main land lady linked to my company, pee’s one off and she will lose A LOT of business.

Some times I prefer my old land lord, ok he kicked me out due to the lass I was sharing the apartment with but at least he left us alone and only talked to us when he came to pick the rent up! If there was an issue, he’d call the right person, pay them and send them to us, no questions asked!!!

Erm Josephine, do you really WANT to know what the previous bloke was doing to break the bed in the middle???? :lol:

Originally Posted by bossyboots

Erm Josephine, do you really WANT to know what the previous bloke was doing to break the bed in the middle???? :lol:

SHHHHHHH!!! I can not think of that, please, it's like a nightmare!

Mini rant:

People tell me constantly that it'll get easier to cope with whenever OH leaves to go back to Ireland (he visits quite reguarly, although there are often 1 or 2 weeks when I don't see him) - it's a total lie. it gets more and more difficult as our relationship grows.

I know this is kind of silly, as some people have to cope without their OHs for months, but it just makes me sad.

Ahhhh!, i'm now sick of the sight of cardboard boxes! I'm going to uni on saturday and the packing is starting to kill me. It wouldnt be so bad if i could leave my bedroom the way is currently is (minus my important junk) but i have to clear everything, pack everything so my little brother (16) can move into my room! Ahhhhh! dont ever want to see another fecking box!
I am not looking forward to having to move house sometime in the future.

I am still car-less....

About 4 weeks ago himself changed the spark plugs on my car and told me the thingy was leaking into the wossname which would make the oojimaflip blow up. Not weanting to embarrass myself in public with an exploding oojimaflip I quickly sold it to a chappie who seemed in such a hurry to buy it that I was seriously concerned he only wanted it for an armed robbery. 8O
Himself knows lots of people, and remembering a favour owed to him from 1937 he contacted a chappie in Essex who sells second hand cars. Bingo! He has managed to find me a lovely car, for a fraction of the book price. He was going to pick it up for me this weekend, but has been called into work for 3, possibly 4 weeks. So now here I sit, in the back of beyond with no car. My choices are simple: I can wait for the Wednesday bus (but if I miss that there isn't another one till October) I can order my shopping online and hope they don't forget half of it like they did last time, or I can ask my bestest bestest friend in the world GILLY if I can borrow her car. Now the problem with Gilly's car is that it performs only for her. I now wish I had taken the advanced driving lessons titled "how to start your car with a screwdriver whilst looking inconspicuous...

Today i want to gripe about well, offsprings driving :twisted:

Last night, Son creature offered to give me a lift to the supermarket on the account of me being poorly hoofed......what a mistake :twisted:

I sat in the front of his chavmobile and hid the best i could and made sure that my seat belt was well and truly locked on.

All went well until we left the bottom of the street, then BOOOOOOOMPH..on went the 'ardcore techno' at a base and volume that made my ears and nose bleed. I couldn't find the volume control so i lit a fag up instead to ease my nerves.

SC ' MAAAAAAAAM, put it out, you can't smoke in my car!! 8O
Bossy ' shut it' :twisted:

And i proceeded to puff away.

Then we passed the supermarket at a breathtaking speed and despite my protestations he kept going.

Bossy ' where we going, fool?' :?
SC ' just got to see a friend'

Suddenly we entered a car park full of other chavmobiles and other son creatures, feeling rather conspicious i pulled my hood up as far as it would go, slid down the seat and lit another fag.
I was doing quite nicely when someone else's son creature decided to say hello, followed by several other someone else's son creatures.

'Ello Mrs Bossy, wotcha think of Danish's driving, cool aint he?
Bossy ' :twisted: '
' E wont like ya smoking in there Mrs B' 8O
Bossy ' i dont care..go away you cretin' :twisted:
' Cretin? haha ere Danish ya mams a top tart aint she :lol:

Tart?? :twisted:

Apparently...EVERY female who goes to a 'cruze' is a 'car tart' 8O

Son creature after speaking in some native tongue which was possibly swahili then remembered i was there and the supermarket was awaiting. Back in the car he jumped, whoomphed up the volume and wheelspun away. By this time i has smoke coming from my ears as well as my nostils and mouth. :twisted:

' Wanna Mc Flurry mam?'
' NO, what i want to do is go to the supermarket then go home as per original plan :twisted:
' come on, wont take a sec, i'll go the drive thru'
So we do...and enter straight into another chavmobile car park, known daytime as Mc Donalds.
:twisted: :twisted: :twisted:

Eventually, we returned home after finally calling at the supermarket.

NEVER EVER again will i get in son creatures car.
Why can't he have a nice little fiesta or something? Why can't he play his 'choons' at a reasonable volume? Why can't he complete a simple task without a detour?

:twisted: :twisted: :twisted:

Originally Posted by Eye_of_Newt

I am still car-less....

About 4 weeks ago himself changed the spark plugs on my car and told me the thingy was leaking into the wossname which would make the oojimaflip blow up. Not weanting to embarrass myself in public with an exploding oojimaflip I quickly sold it to a chappie who seemed in such a hurry to buy it that I was seriously concerned he only wanted it for an armed robbery. 8O
Himself knows lots of people, and remembering a favour owed to him from 1937 he contacted a chappie in Essex who sells second hand cars. Bingo! He has managed to find me a lovely car, for a fraction of the book price. He was going to pick it up for me this weekend, but has been called into work for 3, possibly 4 weeks. So now here I sit, in the back of beyond with no car. My choices are simple: I can wait for the Wednesday bus (but if I miss that there isn't another one till October) I can order my shopping online and hope they don't forget half of it like they did last time, or I can ask my bestest bestest friend in the world GILLY if I can borrow her car. Now the problem with Gilly's car is that it performs only for her. I now wish I had taken the advanced driving lessons titled "how to start your car with a screwdriver whilst looking inconspicuous...

Welllll, you do make me pots of tea. I will msn you in a min, but be warned, I will be around tomorrow with burberry cap and Son Creature Techno music for you so you look good starting car with screwdriver :lol:

I am full of streaming cold!!

Rant, rave, sniffle, sneeze :twisted:

And i can't stop blowing my nose FAAAAAAAAAAAAAARFFFFFFFFF :cry:

Ta PP

ATICHOOOOOOOOOO...sorry :cry: