Thread: The Significance of being A.N Other.

There’s been a lot of talk over how significant you have to be in the life of the person who lead you to being a member of this site, so maybe the record should be set straight and questions posed.

Who is a Significant Other?
What makes you Significant?
What role do you play that makes you part of the Others life?
How do they regard you?
Are some more Significant than Other Others?
Do you stop being a member here if you stop being the Significant Other?
Is it an opposite sex thing?
Indeed, is it a sex thing!
Can a person met on the internet be a Significant Other?

This is only my opinion but here goes…..

A Significant Other is anyone who has dealings, be they daily, weekly, monthly or yearly with someone who is affiliated to now, intends affiliation to or has in the past been affiliated to HM Forces.

How you are Significant is no-ones business but your own. If you choose to tell others then they should respect that information and the part you play.

Your part in your friend/other half/spouses life can’t be measured, not by someone you hardly know and who knows only you and not the person you support, to think you do judge this commitment is, frankly, silly.

No-one can tell you what the other person in your life thinks of you, feels for you or intends to do to/with/for you in the future.

Many believe there is a pecking order of importance in the role of Significant Other. Only you will know how the other person in your relationship rates you. Are you more Significant if you are the child of, fiancee of, wife of, ex-wife of? Me I’m proud to be Significant to a few guys, sister of, Aunt of and daughter of…. I don’t think I’m less Significant to any, or more to others.

HM Forces are strange eggs. it’s like a wee club and once you’re in and have come to understand the role civilians play as support you never leave, so why should you leave this site?

There is no gender role discrimination for the job of Significant Other, nor is it an opposite sex thing. Why would it be? Some of my best mates are female, I’m Significant to them and they are to me. If you touch on the life you leave the trace of Significance.

There’s little to do with sex in being a Significant Other, on the other hand there’s everything! It depends on who you are the Significant Other of and the relationship you have with them. We’re friends, family, lovers and mothers and fathers.

The internet is a tool that many of us employ in a social capacity. Meeting a person and growing to care for them regardless of where the initial contact is made shouldn’t be frowned upon by anyone really. I know some people who’ve met their OH in pubs while they’ve both been drunk! Disgusting!

Any thoughts?

Beebs x

Wot about Fathers? Lolllllllllllll

Luv all you e-pals lots and I may need your shoulders in the New Year

Mod Edit: Added Dad! Beebs x

Bazzer, our shoulders are your shoulders, albeit get too many and you'll have trouble fitting through doors!

Beebs – got a crack on that one lass! Thumbs up and totally agree with you, Significant other is your own choice. Think this post is extremeley relevant to the site!

I'm the significant other.....the OH is of no significance whatsoever :lol:

:wink: Ta!

Have to agree with you Beebs.

I thought twice about joining this site even though every male member of my family is either in the Army or was in the Army, this goes back for as many generations as we have records for.

I also have a serving OH but I'm not married to him and this was what made me hesitate.

I decided that despite having a phenomenal support network at home, it was a little too close for comfort and on occasion there are questions that you can't ask, the stiff upper lip is employed and one tends to hesitate before asking for fear of opening old wounds.

On this site, questions have been asked and answered, a different prospective is offered and advice is freely given by those that can answer.

I have close friends in the boat as me and one that does a similar job to me who is also a pad rat but that's it and sometimes you need to be able to bounce off people who understand what this is all about, you need to be able to ask questions of people who know more than you do without fear of upsetting anyone and finally you need to be able to laugh out loud with total strangers who have been there done that and got the T-shirt.

I've found Rear Party to be tremendously useful, thought provoking, funny and provocative and I'm pleased that I over came my doubts about not having a strong enough connection to the Army in order to benefit from the site.

Originally Posted by gentlesoul

you need to be able to ask questions of people who know more than you do

No one knows more than you.................................we just all know different things

Right I really do need to step away from my keyboard as I am getting waaaaaaaaaaaaay to fluffy

Blessed I totally agree you dont need to just be someones spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend to be a significant other. My bestfriend is in the American Army and I am always there for him as he is for me when he is able to be. And he always introduces me to his friends as this is my significant other.....Its a personal thing which no one but you and the other person can judge....

All agreed here too, everyone is significant in different ways!

here here! *raises glass of wine*

I think you've hit the nail on the head there beebs.

I think there is a poem somewhere about people coming into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime and what you've put there is pretty much that.

Originally Posted by tattooedlady

I think you've hit the nail on the head there beebs.

What she said ^^^

i agree with all of the above, well done beebs well said!
:hello1:

Fantastic thread, well said Beebs

Originally Posted by tattooedlady

I think there is a poem somewhere about people coming into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime and what you've put there is pretty much that.

This one

[align=center]PEOPLE COME INTO YOUR LIFE FOR A REASON

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must
realise is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. .
Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

Thank you for being a part of my life, whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime.[/align]

Thats the one Lynx

you know, for as long as i've been a memeber of arrse, and here, i've never read this post beebs

and i'm glad i finally did, although i did click it by accident (oops)

circumstances over the last wee while has made me feel "less than significant" but i've recently realised all of what you say means more than things that happened in the past. sorry to be cryptic.

i never fell on arrse looking for to become some squaddie mattress, as some may have/may be seen as, as i may have been seen as etc...
i found arrse through a genuine need for answers to a few questions that i couldn't find answers to, never having dated anyone from the army before.

it didn't work out, and i no longer speak to my uncle (ex forces) and felt a wee bit lost.
so glad i finally read this, and can't believe it took me son long.

sorry for the ramble, despite being sober lol.... just needed to spout off for a wee second there

Originally Posted by Beanz

you know, for as long as i've been a memeber of arrse, and here, i've never read this post beebs

and i'm glad i finally did, although i did click it by accident (oops)

circumstances over the last wee while has made me feel "less than significant" but i've recently realised all of what you say means more than things that happened in the past. sorry to be cryptic.

i never fell on arrse looking for to become some squaddie mattress, as some may have/may be seen as, as i may have been seen as etc...
i found arrse through a genuine need for answers to a few questions that i couldn't find answers to, never having dated anyone from the army before.

it didn't work out, and i no longer speak to my uncle (ex forces) and felt a wee bit lost.
so glad i finally read this, and can't believe it took me son long.

sorry for the ramble, despite being sober lol.... just needed to spout off for a wee second there

I'd be your A N Other Beanz, but Beebs would batter me.

When did you lot get all sentimental?

Thats cool cause I've just joined (in the last 5mins) and my OH isn't even there yet - starts 1 November (Phase 1 training) and I am so busy trying not to puke at the thought and wondering if anyone will ever understand... so its a relief to know that you're all well into it and still have your sense of humour, sarcasm and sanity!

I have absolutely no clues wot we are getting into - no family experience or close ones in the field... ;o( hey ho - will soon find out I guess!