Thread: 18 yo son spending ALL his money

Hi just wanted to know if anyone else has come across this.

My eighteen yo son is in the army and earns a good wage, over£1000 per month. The problem is, that he seems to be drinking most of it and comes to me for money mid month. I am really fed up with this, but don't want him to go without food even if he's been unwise in the early part of the month. On the other hand, I don't want to keep being the one who props him up mid month as this won't do him any good long term.

Any ideas? Thanks, Sadie

Stop subbing him? He gets fed by the Army, PAYD in most camps.

cruel to be kind I'm afraid, it's the only way! Stop subbing him, don't give him cash. If you absolutely HAVE to do something send him a food parcel (a VERY cheap food parcel, tesco value noodles, cup a soup etc). Its a hard lesson but one that needs learning.

stop giving him the money. If he's living on base he will not be going without food. Even if they're on the pay as you dine, they will have a system that he pays for his food the following month. However, he can only do this a couple of times before his regimental sgt or someone else get involved - then he will have to sit down with someone and go through what he's spending every month, and why he has no money to pay for his food in the mess.

Sometimes you've got to be cruel to be kind.
I've been there - I was always skint by the middle of the month when I first joined up, and I'm sure that 90% of young squaddies are in the same situation.

I'm with the others on this - let him fall flat on his face. They'll give him food vouchers that'll come off his next month's pay - and hopefully the others taking the p**s at every mealtime will ensure it doesn't happen two months running.

I'm with the others on this one, don't let him have the money.

Another agreeing here with what the others have said.

If he has to last a full month on his wage and his wage alone without you helping out, he'll soon get the message.

As a Mum I know its against our nature to see our kids 'suffer' but its a really important lesson in life.

He won't starve and to be honest going without food won't bother him THAT much, he will always find something to eat...a few weekends staying in while his mates go out and get steamed will though.

I think its a case of sitting back and letting him ride this one out

I am with the others on this sorry, he needs to learn the value of money it may be a hard lesson but he may need to learn the hard way! If he knows that you will always help him out with food then he will continue wasting his money on alcohol!! Have you tried talking to him about it as he needs to budget for food and everything else that is left at the end of the month he can do with it whatever he wishes!!! Try getting him to open another account for food and have a standing order when he gets paid and that he needs to ensure that he only use the money for food and not alcohol at the supermarket as that defeats the object!!!
xx

Having been an 18 year old bloke I can confirm that all the above advice is the only thing that will work. Be strong!

Yep, with everyone else. If you don't you'll probably be subbing him until he is in his 30's.

Wow this has been pretty clear! I'm glad that there is a system in place to help daft young lads, I didn't know that. My fear was of him getting money from those short term loan sharks and getting into even more bother. Tough love coming up.....thanks all for taking the time to reply

There will always be things in place, the Army has a duty of care. This was one of the reasons many didn't want pay as you dine to come in, cos they knew what the young squaddies were like, and at least they would be fed 3 times a day!
And a good telling off from his RSM might make him think twice before he spends it all on alcohol!

late on this, but i agree too. food parcels were a fab idea! good luck x

I have to go with the others on this, as I have all to often seen, mums subs rarely get paid back. So in effect they get their wages for beer and folks give them extra.
Defo next time he say's he's run out of money send him a food parcel instead. Cheapest stuff you can find. He'll get the message. Stay strong, good luck and keep us posted.

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Lots of good advice- trouble is they so easily fall into the drink culture. Afraid seems with kids at some point you are always subbing them. Mines is married with a kid and another on the way, and occasionally I still have to bung him to odd tenner.