Thread: The Modern Military Mother

Hello,

I thought since there wasn't really an information, or indeed reference to, Military Mothers in the other thread of this title that I'd start one here and, since every day is Mothers Day, I'd dedicate it to all those wonderful mothers (and fathers) who stand quietly. Once more watching the most precious of their possessions move further along the line from them and they wait.

You are their World.
You are strength itself.
You alone have created these warriors.
You have empowered them.
You have surrounded them with belief in truth, right and wrong, duty, responsibility and so many more values that have made them fit and proud to wear the green, the blue and the white.
You are the Mothers of this Countries finest.

Right I'm off before I turn American!

Beebs x

find myself envying the yanks sometimes, here the only time you see the union jack flying is when the footies on. and patriotism seems to be a bit of a dirty word, why ?

We've got a St Georges flag flying in our front yard on a flagpole about 25 foot high! It comes down to be washed, repaired if needed and then it goes up again!

I think patriotism develops with age, pride with understanding and good manners with self belief!

Maybe I'm just old and those I spend time with are also, but we believe in this country, regardless of our colour, religious persuasion or sexuality, we understand and believe in the system that it presents, flaws and all, most have experiences of much more flawed systems. (One of these lovely ladies has several bullet wounds in her back from the moment she 'died' in the Eritrean civil war.)

G2G Kitty awake and poorly.....tbc.

Beebs x

....We're proud to be sheltered by this country, I'm first generation British on my mothers side, she arrived in Britain aged about 10 in 1939 from Poland with her sister. No other relative survived the war. She taught us that respect for the people who shelter and protect you is a given.

There are people who are bitter and make excuses as to why they're not proud to be British, I think those people have become ignorant to the facts, we are free, we are cared for and we are able to exercise our right to leave if we don't like what we have allowed this nation to become.

But how does this relate to the Modern Military Mother? Maybe she already knows all these things, lives them and surrounds her family with these beliefs so naturally that they don't think twice about standing up to be counted in defense of them.

What about those who have become what they have become, not because of their parents but despite their parents? Personal strength of character, hard-work and gumption have made them what they are, in conjunction with external influences - thankfully very few people grow-up in a vacuum. Methinks you romanticise the parental role too much!

Originally Posted by DozyBint

What about those who have become what they have become, not because of their parents but despite their parents? Personal strength of character, hard-work and gumption have made them what they are, in conjunction with external influences - thankfully very few people grow-up in a vacuum. Methinks you romanticise the parental role too much!

Not at all, but for every person who has not found that positive influence at home they will have a role model who has taken on the role, all be it in many cases in their subconscious, of the parent.

And what if I do want to sing the praise of those many more who have given their all for their children? Isn't it a song worth singing? As a parent watching other parents and knowing their struggles I think it is.

So here's to the parents!

Beebs

Originally Posted by blessed_baby_cakes

And what if I do want to sing the praise of those many more who have given their all for their children? Isn't it a song worth singing? As a parent watching other parents and knowing their struggles I think it is.

So here's to the parents!

Absolutely, I happen to agree that many (probably and thankfully most) parents deserve having their praises sung - I certainly have fabulous parents and regularly count my blessings. I just happen to know personally men who have served their country and their inspiration for doing so has had nothing to do with the hideous parents they've had the misfortune to be born to.

Originally Posted by DozyBint

Originally Posted by blessed_baby_cakes

And what if I do want to sing the praise of those many more who have given their all for their children? Isn't it a song worth singing? As a parent watching other parents and knowing their struggles I think it is.

So here's to the parents!

Absolutely, I happen to agree that many (probably and thankfully most) parents deserve having their praises sung - I certainly have fabulous parents and regularly count my blessings. I just happen to know personally men who have served their country and their inspiration for doing so has had nothing to do with the hideous parents they've had the misfortune to be born to.

I must be losing the point, this thread is in praise of those parents how're doing a fantastic job.

I'm sorry your friends haven't experienced that love and guidance, maybe you can start a thread in praise of their strength and courage at overcoming their roots and I'll stick to the one I feel akin to as I feel no need to bring down what is a positive re-enforcement of good parenting and their off-spring.

Originally Posted by blessed_baby_cakes

I'm sorry your friends haven't experienced that love and guidance, maybe you can start a thread in praise of their strength and courage at overcoming their roots and I'll stick to the one I feel akin to as I feel no need to bring down what is a positive re-enforcement of good parenting and their off-spring.

Fair enough, but given that these forums are for debate, my post was in response to the point I've quoted below, which begged the question to what extent parental input was responsible for what makes someone "fit and proud" to wear the uniforms of our Armed Forces?

Originally Posted by blessed_baby_cakes

You have surrounded them with belief in truth, right and wrong, duty, responsibility and so many more values that have made them fit and proud to wear the green, the blue and the white.
You are the Mothers of this Countries finest.

As this is to be a praise singing thread though, I too will applaud the parents who have and continue to love, support and offer guidance to their children.

When I wrote the blog and coined the headline I was thinking of myself and my peers. Women who are married to the military and often raising their kids alone - married, single celibate. For the first three years of my son's life my husband was at home at the most 6 months in every one of those years. It was hard for him and my husband as they were very disconnected from each other and our lives were so fragmented the constant re-integration was challenging.

The idea for the blog came when I was sat on a train to London. I had got up at 7am, dressed the kids, gave them their breakfast, dropped my 20 month old daughter at nursery, dropped my son at school. I drove from Dorset to Reading, parked at the station, caught a train. My journey was interrupted because there was a fatality and we were then sent back to Reading, where I had to get on another train to Waterloo. As I was waiting on the train, as it slowly filled up to the gunwhales, another milly wife walked past the train window. Her journey impacted by the same event. She is based in Oxfordshire and is an oncologist trying to get the Nobel Peace Prize and find a cure for cancer. We spoke on the phone. Her husband is deployed. She had an incredibly important presentation to give in London. Her son was in childcare in Oxford and she had no back up to collect him.

It was during this conversation I began to draft the blog. I called it a modern military mother not because I am the mother of someone who is serving but because I am mother whose parenting choices are continually impacted by my decision to marry someone in the military. In this respect I see myself as modern military mother.

I didn't mention the children or explain the rationale for the title in the blog and to be honest I see it as the beginning of a series of blogs, discussing the idea of profiling the modern military spouse, who is a mother to her children.

However, a very good friend of mine has a son who is serving and I feel her aching when he is deployed. I think it is harder for the mothers of soldiers then it is for the wives. The love I feel for my children is unconditional. The modern military mothers whose children serve endure the agony and the ecstacy of parenting greater than most. I have nothing but the upmost respect and admiration for them.

Now that sounds like you in there, not the person you write about..... And if that had been in the blog not only would it have made more sense it'd have gotten a far more positive response from my corner, except for the drugs bit ya hoody......

And i have to agree, no matter what you think, no matter what you say until you give birth adn meet that little person you never really understand unconditional love......

Beebs

Thanks - I was meaning to put that into but I drafted it in between business meetings and then I ran out of time. Then I also ran out of time when I posting on here until today to clarify where it all came from.

I work full time, 2 kids, hectic social life too - like the rest of the world - here there and everywhere, rush, rush. Jonny half job. Had a mong day at home today so I was able to get behind the detail a bit more.

I like the pace of the blog piece I am not unhappy with it but I can see that it is a bit disconnected from the heading - I'll probably cut and paste what I have just written as my next blog. We'll see. Anyway I feel better now that I have put its origins out there - it helps give it some perspective.

As always I meant it with the best intentions. But things seemed to have got off on the wrong foot but lessons learnt. I am new to this game so there is some trial and error. Onwards and upwards.