Thread: Tattoo - whats your thoughts...?

I was thinking about getting a small tattoo across my foot in remeberance of a lost pregnancy to mark the lowest time of my life to date. I only start thinking about having the tattoo done when I am low and the awful experience comes back to haunt me.
I was wondering whther anyone else has had something similar and whether they feel it was worthwhile?? / Helped them come to terms?

i dont know how long it has been for you, and i wont say time heals or anything, but, are you sure you want a permanant visual reminder of something you describe as the lowest point in your life ?. people have tattoos for a million reasons, just make sure yours is the right one. I went through a misscarraige many years ago, and yes i got a tattoo a few months later, not as a reminder of the babies i had lost but of the life i had to come, ( i was only 23 ) there are support groups all over if you need to talk, when you feel down dont bottle it up - talk to someone, pm me if you want.

if it makes you feel down now, I wouldn't recommend getting a tattoo as a constant reminder. Believe me, you have to be 110% ALL of the time, if you want a tattoo and not to regret it (speaking from experience, just had to have one redesigned because I went on a whim).

I think you should pay a visit to your GP and see if there is counselling available for you. I'm not sure how long it has been but it sounds like you're still coming to terms with it, hugs x

I second the above comments. I don't have any tattoos, but I have had a miscarriage and, even though I'm pregnant again now, and even though I'm generally over it (I think) the feelings still come back to bite me every so often (this past weekend again, as it happens).

Although I can understand the impulse to do something to help you come to terms with it, and I can even understand wanting to commemorate getting through the darkest patch in your life to date, my personal gut instinct would say that a permanent visual reminder is not the way to go about it. At least not at this stage. I don't know how far you were when you miscarried, or what the circumstances were, but I would rather suggest a ritual of some sort to lay the memory to rest - somethings symbolic that will give you closure and be a fitting tribute. But that's just my suggestion, and you and/or your partner might hate the idea.

At the end of the day this is about you, so you have to think about what you want and what will work for you. The fact that you came and asked for input on here suggests that you don't actually want that tattoo though. If you really did, you'd just be posting a pic of the end result right now.

Maybe finish with the feelings first - then you can get that tattoo when the emotional scars are healed over and the tat is just there to celebrate your experience, strength and hope.

I've never experienced that tragedy, but I've had a conversation to my BFF about it (she did go through it) and she is of the opinion that if you only want the tattoo when you're low it might not be the best idea. She says, Commemorative tattoos should come out of a place of love, even when the love may be tinged with something else, so that when you look at the tattoo it reminds you of love. If the tattoo comes from what is primarily grief, it is likely to make you grieve again. And that's not what you want to spend the rest of your life doing.

I have a commemorative tattoo which I got primarily in remembrance of my heritage when I emigrated (what with me being a foreigner here and all). It's on my ankle. When I look at it, I feel a sense of obligation to make my people proud of me no matter where I go. It works well. So commemorative tattoos are something I find generally good, if they evoke the right feelings.

Hope your low goes away soon. Deepest sympathy.

I agree with the others that you should speak to somebody and deal with the feelings surrounding the loss before deciding to have the tattoo as only wanting it when you feel low isn't a good sign. If you still want it when you have other mechanisms in place to deal with your grief then you know it will be purely for commemorative reasons xxx

Your foot will absolutely flippin kill to be tattooed, I have both mine done and my god I wouldn't go through that again. I have a memorial tattoo (for different reasons) and I have also been through a miscarriage along with very low black times in life - I would not advise a permenant reminder of this time to anyone, it is entirely your choice but I wouldn't, especially due to the circumstances under which you come to the decision.

I personally wouldn't do it either. I have had several miscarriages in my time, to make a long and depressing story short I have a problem with a weakened uterus which makes full term pregnancies very difficult. I miscarried just before little tree was conceived. That was the first time it had happened when we were actually actively trying for a baby and I was devastated. it was one of the worst things I've ever experienced. However after telling Mr Tree I couldn't cope with it and didnt want to try for a baby any more I discovered I was pregnant with little tree.

He was and is a little fighter and made it through to 39 weeks and is a healthy, happy if slightly evil almost 2 year old. Having another baby will never make up for what I lost or replace it in any way but I prefer to focus on what i am lucky enough to have rather than what i lost. I've got two beautiful, demanding little boys and though I'd have liked a daughter I know not to push my luck so our family is complete.

I think the advice to talk to someone is the best you can get. When you feel low talk to someone about it, take your time and eventually you will work out a way to come to terms with your loss. It's a grieving process and it has to go through all of its stages before you will finally find acceptance.

I wouldn't get the tattoo yet, get some advice and help to get you through the low point, and get a tattoo to signify a changing point in your life x

Thanks to all for your kind replies. Lol will it hurt that bad on my foot!!Tattooed Lady you can hold my hand! ps Are you the Choir gal off that TV progLOL Ha. Cripes my post seems to be really needy but I just figured that for some people tattoos are a road or a route map through their life. Sometimes you have to get so low to know when you are on a high and vice versa dont you think? With respect to tattoo art, some people have a spiders web on their arm when they have been in prison, others have the Paras badge / wings to remember that they were once part of a unique team. Beckham has names of his kids etc. Like many of you whom have replied, I feel that I have been part of something that definitely changed me and my attitudes. Whilst I felt alone at the time I realise that I am part of a club of women at the same time?Whether in this case a is remembering a bad time or remembering something that was pivotal to me and my attutudes... and whether its something for which a tattoo is appropriate I dont know. In some ways perhaps a tatto could be seen as a blight, a scar - but something glorious could be respectful? I can see why people just put in a rose bush and get it done and over with but I am sh*t at gardening and pets arent that respectful either....

Originally Posted by Elansofar

Lol will it hurt that bad on my foot!!

YES! My one on my foot hurt so much that as I was leaning back trying to stay still I blistered my knuckles and then rubbed off those blisters, and didn't noticed until afterwards! I could have easily told the artist to stop pretty much the entire way through!

I got mine done as a way of getting closure on picking up my injury and getting deferred from the Army, it reminds me that no matter what I am a musician whether I have the army or not. I was absolutely devastated at the time (still am to be honest!) but the reason I think this works for me is because I still have the chance to enter the army and "make it right" as it were. I'm not sure whether getting a permanent reminder of something that you had no control over will help, I don;t think it would help me anyway.

Hi Elan
As one who has gone through this 5 times I don't think having a commemorative tattoo would have helped me. As others have said, marking yourself for life to commemorate a low time is not a good idea. You don't need a permanent reminder as it never goes away.If you want something to 'remember' - plant a flower/tree, or wear a bracelet/necklace or something. I buy balloons once a year and let them all go at once!
As awful as these things are when they happen, all the platitudes are true - time does heal, it does help to talk. We all deal with it in different ways.
*hugs*

I have 10 tattoos (not on any programme) and I have reasons for some and no reasons for others - I just love the fact that I get the choice with my own skin. I have had some pretty bad black times in my life but I would never think to mark the occasion with ink, I use the art on my skin to identify myself for the good things rather than the bad. I have my family and things that mean the world to me and memories that make me smile.

I find it very easy to remember and think of the horrible and bad things in life, the good and nice things are not always so easy so I mark these more to make sure that I pay attention to them as much as I can.

I have 15 tattoos now, 2 of them are commemorating the death of my best friend - so I couldn't really suggest whether one remembering the sad loss of your pregnancy would be a good idea or not. All I know is that I had those two tattoos done to remember a special person and the special times in our lives. I don't regret them, and I don't look at them and feel sad, but I waited a while before I had them done, when I was at a point where I could accept what had happened and felt comfortable about it. So with that in mind, i'd say if you're not sure, then don't have one done. Maybe waiting a while and seeing how you feel later on would be a good idea. <3