Thread: What Makes a Good Forces Wife?

So, in the absence of children and husband-thing, I is bored. So in an attempt to avoid deep cleaning the depths of the bathroom for as long as humanly possible, I was trawling through Itch and Bitch. As I&B is no longer available on the front page I had to resurrect this through Jungle Drums.

What makes a good forces* wife?

It never really got that far off the ground. BB's photographic imagery got to work and all was lost.

Come on girls. What, in your humble opinions, makes an all round 'good egg' of a wife of?!

*changed from Army to Forces seeing as there are looooads of Navy types!

Hi Bodger x

Having the patience of a saint helps, failing that always have a good bottle of Rose at hand xxxx

I'll go with:

Having the ability to strap the OH into his Mess kit whilst simultaneously scraping food from the walls after tea time and retaining that perfectly manicured look.

Not minding too much when he returns from (any sort of outing which includes alcohol) at stupid o'clock with a kebab which he leaves partially eaten but mainly smeared across the sofa complete with garlic mayo and hot as hell chili sauce for the children to find at breakfast time.

Being told that your move in date is actually the same as your dining in and smiling through it. "Ooh, I'm sure you'll be able to find a babysitter with 2 hours notice in a foreign country. You'll get over your jet lag sweetie, just drink through it. I will."

I can't go on. I'm getting depressed!

I['m just gonig to round this off to insanity. Pure simple insanity (or maybe thats what makes me a bad army wife i dunno)

The ability to laugh when you want to cry

The ability to amke a home wherever you end up

The ability to keep that bloody pencil sharpened

S_T, you have to start with insanity to be able to grow to relatively sane. Apparently it takes about 25 years. Only another 10 for me and then I'm normal again!

There's no hope for me current hubby has only been back in a year and i wasnt with him for his 1st 7 hubby before that i served 2 years time can i add them together and be at 3 or do i have to start at one again??

Having outstanding organisational skills! The ability to fathom even the most complicated of forms (BFG and De BFGing a car is the longest process in history)

Being able to accept ANY plans changing at the last minute and not getting too upset about it.

Being an alcoholic also helps

Keeping a calm head when everything around you is going to rat sh*t. Helping people when they need help. Holding it together when he goes, and whilst he is gone. Celebrating when he is not.

Originally Posted by bodger

As I&B is no longer available on the front page I had to resurrect this through Jungle Drums.

Just to confirm to all - everyone who is registered can see Itch and Bitch - it should show up in the newsfeed.

If it isn't, I shall add it to the "get this done" list. :wink:

Simple, can be said in 1 word ''independence''

the ability to quaff endless booze at mess do's until sparrow fart and STILL get the kids up and to various clubs on time.

The ability to hold said endless quaffed booze in your bladder until the RSM says you can go for a wazz (tosser OBVIOUSLY hasn't had HIS pelvic floor wrecked by squeezing out future squaddies)

The ability to wrestle 15 stone of totally wrecked squaddie into his bed, without wrecking your posh frock, place said posh frock and his mess kit on hangars out of harms way and still have NO recollection of arriving home when you surface the following morning!

The ability to shake of gargantuan hangovers in a jiffy because said squaddie has to be packed and ready to go on ex the next day and all his kit is still crammed, unwashed, in his Bergan from last time!

ability to yell and swear like a fishwife and to take shit from no one.
Works for me for loads of years.

I swear my OH is testing me on this! So far I have bulled boots (for the experience), cleaned his hats, learnt how best to pack all his kit into a teeny weeny bag. the list goes on.

Now he is coming out with strange domestic requests like can you make me a birthday cake, do you know how to sew badges on (im a brownie leader- course i do!) do you like hoovering etc

so he obviously thinks my ability to be a 1950s woman will make me a good forces wife, I think its the ability to do everything yourself but act convincingly helpless and fragile whenever he is around so he can act all manly

Originally Posted by bootifull

ability to yell and swear like a fishwife and to take shit from no one.
Works for me for loads of years.

Good good - I've only been a wifey for a year but learnt this from my mum. Has worked for me so far, but hubby hates it!

The ability to retain this understanding; when they come home, ranting, no matter what they say, it isn't personal. Practice the teflon technique. First rate organisational skills also a must.

Didn't Jerry Hall sum it up nicely?

Bless you bodger for changing it from Army to Forces

I think most things have been covered - great organisation skills, keeping your head in a crisis, being independent, reacting to last minute changes, challenging unfairness and misjustice and standing up for your OH when their chain of command doesn't allow them (and supporting them 100%), coping with living your life without knowing what's going on from one week to the next - that's true in the RN it seems.

I'd say that it's something we all have, but not sure how we got it or how to describe it...
A balance of being in submission and a nodding dog to their career and the services while still retaining independence, stability and own mind! Complete juxtapositions but somehow it works!

And a ruddy large bottle of vodka!