Thread: Peer Pressure Pregnancy

Heh. Check out that alliteration. Anyway.

Just now this moment found out that one of my best friends from back home is knocked up, er, I mean, blissfully with child. How wonderful and exciting for her! Oh, and one of my many many cousins is pregnant. AGAIN. And everyone's just soooo excited! And yeah, I'm excited too, yayyy babies etc etc. BUT. Can I just say why I am so friggin' irritated?

This time three years ago, I was getting ready to move here, and my WHOLE family (and there are a LOT of them) felt the need to tell me how 'concerned' they were that I was just going to get married and become a baby-making machine and never 'make anything of myself'. Which, one, yeah, because being a mother is such a horrible and useless thing to do (sarcasm). And TWO, I will have children when Dahlink and I want to have them.

This is what I told them then, and it's what I'm saying NOW, THREE YEARS LATER, when suddenly they're all asking me WHY I'M NOT HAVING BABIES YET. What. Is. That.

I am not going to start popping out sprog on your whim, people! Nobody gets ANY SAY in what happens to my womb except for me and Dahlink (he doesn't own it, but he's renting). So shut your pie holes, family! I love you but you are chafing. my. butt.

Anyone else dealing with constant nagging to hurry up and reproduce? Tell me I'm not alone!

Basically they're asking about your sex life. Tell them that you think the dildo-lube you're using is preventing babies, but you're addicted. If they look all shocked and aghast, tell them "well, you were asking about my sex life, so here you go, throbbers..." it might shut them up.

FFS. We had it all "you're too old for kids now, so you're being selfish and just wanting it to be the two of you?" was one. Now that I'm pregnant the (few) family members I still speak to are gobsmacked at it, thinking I'm too old (!?) and that it was some "big mistake". No, very much planned and hoped for and we're bloody lucky.

If you want kids - in your own time - then that's your business. Just tell them to fk off...seriously.

bakes it happens to me all the time!! I hate it! I just smile and nod and say mhmm!

I really hate the pressure of it all- if they keep pushing Ive said I will get the snip!!

Me and the hubby always get asked when we're having kids now that we're married. He gets it off the lads more than me, but we do get it a lot.

It doesn't bother me so much, I just reply to those who ask me with 'we've got to do it first, he's never bloody home!', that soon shuts them up!

We got married earlier this year and being at the older end of the fertility lifespan, my goodness are we getting family pressure! But our answer is simple...

The RN keeps getting in the way!!!!

Deployments and sea trials never seem to match up with my cycle.

So we just have to keep trying

Ah, this is one of my favourite rants! As soon as we were married the questions started. Apart from the fact that it's nobody else's business but ours what really gets me is the sheer insensitivity of it. I wouldn't dream of asking anybody such a personal question, particularly given that they might be having problems conceiving which they don't want to talk about.

I think Mr K just tells people we're far too old whereas I've taken to telling them I've worked out the finances and I'd rather have an Aston Martin

Originally Posted by kazzam

I wouldn't dream of asking anybody such a personal question, particularly given that they might be having problems conceiving which they don't want to talk about.

This I agree with, some people (me) may have problems, so it's not as easy to get up the duff! Some people take time, others catch straight away... what difference does it make to other people anyways?

Oh that old chestnut...me and my virtual husband got the usual questionning at family hatchings/matchings/dispatching type gatherings, it got much easier to answer after the results of the infertility tests were all in - and the computer/Dr said Nooooo.
"We can't have children, we're infertile/barren/etc" sure stopped the nosey rellies ! ...but I'm liking some of your suggestions..(makes mental note re dildo and aston martin)

I got pregnant a month after our wedding due to a bout of of dnv and my pill not working, but if we hadn't I woud have used the "I'm infertile" line. Shuts them up and then when you announce that you are 16 weeks later on, it was a miracle.

God we had the exact opposite! But then my dad hates Mr A so I got asked if it was an accident, if we were keeping it, all those lines.

Yet friends were really bloody insistant that we have a second straight away. As it happens when #1 was 3 months old we started trying for #2 (not that we told anyone that) so we lied and told people "not yet thank you" but it does annoy me that everyone thinks that, just because they know you, everything baby related is public property.

Err, bugger off, it's my (sex) life and I don't plan on running life-changing decisions by you, let alone letting you decide them!!

I think give em the old "his nads were crushed in an unfortunate industrial accident" line and watch em squirm

I am experiencing the same thing just now. People keep asking, and hinting etc, and its really getting on my wick! Mainly i already have a son. But secondly, I have recently been diagnosed with Type 1. In order to have a baby, it cannot just happen or it could kill me and child. I have to plan for at least a year. Surely my health is more important, than having an accident and becoming very unwell. Rant over! lol

This made me giggle... it's amazing how people just forget all social customs about respect and personal space and privacy when babies are involved! I still remember people asking me about a year after my (now 18 yr old) son was born - and no dad was anywhere to be seen, I might add - 'So, when are you going to have another one?' And it's not like it was a state secret that the dad walked when I four months gone, but hey, clearly logic or rational thought, or just a bit of sensitivity and courtesy, are just too much too ask.

This time round, I seem to have managed to surprise everyone because my family had clearly given me up as too old by now so I hadn't had the stupid questions in quite a while, and thankfully the mothers are on a different continent so I am not subjected to quite as much meddling as I had frankly expected. But then... it's early days yet - I'm sure the deluge of interference is still coming!

P.S. LOVED the dildo comment! Safely stored in memory banks for next time *evil grin*

I also get the insensitive/insulting remarks but due to the fact that I have too many kids (according to public opinion!). I'm 42 and expecting #11 in feb and I'm totally sick of the comments I get too. Complete strangers ask me if I'm doin it for the child benefit/do they all have different dads/do we have 2 council houses knocked together/haven't we got a telly to mention but a few! No I'm not doin it for the £12 a wk child benefit, I'll hardly become a millionaire on that now will I? No they haven't got got different dads! No we don't have even 1 council house - we own our own house and yes we have lots of tellys! My dh and run our own successful business from home - he's a tree surgeon and I do all the admin - we don't qualify for tax credits or housing benefits or anything else only the child allowance that everyone gets!

I completely agree that these so-called well meaning nosy gits should butt out and leave people to decide when or if they want kids and how many! Do they not realise how hurtful their comments can be? As previously mentioned I wouldn't dream of asking someone, let alone a complete stranger, such a personal question so I agree - tell 'em to eff off!!

Eleven, you brave women, i cant even control the one i have! ha ha x

Originally Posted by Lisajane1970

I also get the insensitive/insulting remarks but due to the fact that I have too many kids (according to public opinion!). I'm 42 and expecting #11 in feb and I'm totally sick of the comments I get too. Complete strangers ask me if I'm doin it for the child benefit/do they all have different dads/do we have 2 council houses knocked together/haven't we got a telly to mention but a few! No I'm not doin it for the £12 a wk child benefit, I'll hardly become a millionaire on that now will I? No they haven't got got different dads! No we don't have even 1 council house - we own our own house and yes we have lots of tellys! My dh and run our own successful business from home - he's a tree surgeon and I do all the admin - we don't qualify for tax credits or housing benefits or anything else only the child allowance that everyone gets!

I completely agree that these so-called well meaning nosy gits should butt out and leave people to decide when or if they want kids and how many! Do they not realise how hurtful their comments can be? As previously mentioned I wouldn't dream of asking someone, let alone a complete stranger, such a personal question so I agree - tell 'em to eff off!!

What I want to know is will they all play for Arsenal? and if so are they any good?

Now seriously, how the hell do I keep my 20 month old in check, she is the devil incarnate

Originally Posted by Gonzo

What I want to know is will they all play for Arsenal? and if so are they any good?

Now seriously, how the hell do I keep my 20 month old in check, she is the devil incarnate

Blacknasty her to the wall, just make sure the straw for the drink is long enough....

We've only been married a year and we already are getting all of this, doesn't help the OH really wants them and I'm dragging my heels! Do people not think that kids are actually quite expensive and I might like to get my career going first and we CANNOT AFFORD IT YET! I'd love to be one of those people who is just like "we'll figure it out, we'll get pregnant then think about the finances but we'll get by regardless", I want it to be a well thought out decision, and right now I'm not willing to give up our freedom as a young married couple!

and when you had the first one, they'll ask you as soon as it's visiting time in hospital, when you will have the second one. which in my case is , when no politician is lying anymore..........

I have a few friends who are married or in long term relationships and for reasons that they don't feel the need to share with the world, have decided that they don't really fancy having kids. They've 'got away' with it for a few years but it seems that as soon as a woman hits 30, it gives people the right to start questioning her about why she isn't pregnant yet. The worst people for it are family members. Having kids is such a personal decision and it just astounds me why it's expected to be par for the course these days.

Originally Posted by padme

and when you had the first one, they'll ask you as soon as it's visiting time in hospital, when you will have the second one. which in my case is , when no politician is lying anymore..........

I love resurrected threads! There was me a year ago... And now? People asking when we're having our second one!!

No, we're not having another.