Send out the pre-invitations, no date or details, but make them tickets costing £15. Say you would like rsvp now for planning purposes but money later. Those that are willing to cough up invite properly with no cost, the remainder can just feck off.
If they are just looking for a freebie then you don't need them at your nuptials - which unfortunately rules me out
If I make a statement, but a women does not hear it, am I still wrong?
It seems pretty extreme for people to organise and pay for flights and accommodation in order to enjoy a free bar - so it seems they are pretty determined!
I'm with Bootifull on this one. Take the reins. Start a wedding website explaining that you are having an intimate wedding and grateful as you are that others want to come, only those who receive a formal invitation are expected to attend. Direct everyone there with a smile. Then, issue formal invitations to the chosen few telling to keep the destination under their hat and issue invitations to the party to the rest. Some people will feel slighted and won't come to the party, that's up to them and it sounds as if you see them as 'also rans' and won't care.
You don't have to please all of the people all of the time, you just have to be prepared to withstand the politics when you don't. Welcome to the world of an Army wife!
Personally, if the above is the case, I'd just change the location of the ceremony in Italy.... and only tell the invited guests once you get in country. Let the others go for a holiday, your paths do not even need to cross xx
Chaos, panic, disorder, my work here is done!
I think FPD has got the best plan, go to Italy, do YOUR wedding somewhere that you want, just don't give the exact location away and let the rest go wherever they want
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