Thread: Gretna? Yes or no?

Right - I've had enough of sitting in Leeds with the kids driving me mad and not knowing if or when OH can come home of a weekend. I need to pull my head out of my arse, stop thinking about a wedding that will please everyone else and just get it done cos the fact is, I can't live with OH properly again till I do and I'm not strong enough to live by myself anymore!

I'm still not willing to get married with a bump but I'm not ballooning this time (so far - touch wood) so I don't think my worries about having to lose all the baby weight are going to be an issue as so far I haven't even put back on what I lost with morning sickness. Turns out not sitting at a desk all day and not having access to a vending machine was the secret all along

Have been thinking that it might be an idea to try and do the wedding in July, move up to Helensburgh asap afterwards (obv get the application in beforehand) and get DD started at school up there for the new term which apparently is August 15th.

As stupid and selfish as it sounds, I DO NOT want family to be at my wedding. I love most of them but they'll ruin it without even trying. I know my Mum will be upset if she doesn't get to come but she'll get over it. OH feels the same way about his family although his Dad has said he's got a grand to give us to go towards the wedding but I would rather not take the money than have him there - he's ok and I like him but I just can't be doing with it all IYKWIM.

For secrecy reasons, we're going to have to avoid Leeds and our hometowns and I was thinking about Gretna since he's already going to be in that general direction and it's pretty much halfway between Leeds and HMNB Clyde so not too much of a faff to get to.

It will literally just be me, OH and the kids plus whichever 2 of his oppos stick their hands up first when we promise beer in exchange for a couple of hours spent in their 1s with a load of single women from other bridal parties milling about

Based on the teeny tiny guest list, is it worth doing Gretna (Blacksmiths) or are we better just toddling off to the registrar in Helensburgh?

Really could do with suggestions on what to do here as I've just totally had enough and want to scream.

Cheers

Not a suggestion on what to do as only you can decide that. But remember when it comes to it a wedding is a day a marriage is a life so focus on the endgame not one day (and if anyone tells you you can only do it once that's bullshit vow renewal is a big thing nowadays).

If its an options why not combine wedding and honeymoon and do it abroad? Being in timbuktu is a great excuse not to bring the family, or go to Vegas and tell them the mood just took you and you went for it lol

Go for it. I looked at doing Gretna and really would have done if I didn't find the place I eventually got married about 20 miles down the road!
If its just about the 2 of you getting married, and you're not bothered about having family there then I would say yes.

If you really want low key, then it's the registry office. Quick, simple, no faff.

Yes yes yes!

Personally, I recommend going to Scotland - we did (though not at Gretna) and we couldn't have been happier with everything. And by not inviting any family to the wedding, no-one can say they were left out specifically because everyone was excluded equally. This way you can make the day about you and your kids, and just send everyone a wedding announcement afterwards. Much cheaper too!

Gretna's very commercial (think Vegas... only Scottish???) but the benefit is that they do package deals so you know upfront exactly what it's all going to cost. And for Scotland you can do your marriage notices by post, whereas for any registry office wedding in England you both have to give notice to the registrar in the area where you live.

Originally Posted by Special_Tree

If its an options why not combine wedding and honeymoon and do it abroad? Being in timbuktu is a great excuse not to bring the family, or go to Vegas and tell them the mood just took you and you went for it lol

Would love to do that but it'd take forever to save up We'll probably not have a honeymoon at all until he's done his first patrol and got his dolphins & golden hello. At least that way my Mum might have forgiven us by then and we can leave the kids with her

Originally Posted by draegora

And by not inviting any family to the wedding, no-one can say they were left out specifically because everyone was excluded equally.

I'm so glad that someone gets where I'm coming from on that one!

Nice to know I'm not odd for wanting to do it like this. That's good!

Might have a look at Helensburgh registry office. Could be simpler in terms of hiding what's going on - "I'm just off to visit OH for the weekend" wouldn't actually be a lie...

Don't know if this will work:

http://www.gro-scotland.gov.uk/images/helensbr.jpg

Can cope with that. And bonus of having it in Helensburgh would be that we could probably fill the room with a rent-a-mob

phone gretna green., a mate who had to get married pronto, got told they were booked for weeks.....they flew to vegas in the end

Gretna is a beautiful place to get married, if i'd had my way we would have done it that way. Our friends got married there and the photo's were beautiful. At the end of the day a wedding is just one day and marriage is for life.

Glasgow registry office is gorgeous http://www.glasgow.gov.uk/NR/rdonlyr...sinGlasgow.pdf. If we'd been doing the registry office thing we'd have gone there. You might even be married by the same lady as us, she was absolutely lovely

I had a registry office wedding, it was a last minute half-elopement thing. there are rules as to which office you can use due to residency issues, also you do have to give notice and there are interviews and the whole thing is kinda a pain, as far as that goes, but it was cheap- I think £150 for the actual ceremony.

I'm looking at gretna for the Vow thing because, again, we are very interested in cheap. It looks like a great option to me.

Vegas, though, is I think your best option. Say it's a family holiday, come home married, nobody can do anything but be happy for you. There are packages in each hotel/casino as well as all the chapels, for all levels of budget and theme from very kitsch to quite elegant- there's even one where you can get in a helicoptor and be married overlooking the Grand Canyon at sunset, all lovely golds and reds.

I lived in Vegas for 2 years and I'm currently a travel agent who sells to the USA so I know the tricks of the trade; if you're interested PM me and I'll give you the inside scoop.

I would love to do that!!! But my MIL to be would kill us!!!!! I think that it is really only about the two of you (and the children). I really am not into these big showy weddings! The idea of organising a wedding fills me with dread, it honestly puts me off getting married.

RO is fine, my parents did it in one and they are still happily (sometimes!) married nearly 40yrs later, the amount of money spent isn't a measurement of your committment together..... (think all the celeb weddings... 72 days KK!)

It is YOUR day, do it how you both want it!

Good luck xxxxxxx

Originally Posted by Mrs_America

Vegas, though, is I think your best option. Say it's a family holiday, come home married, nobody can do anything but be happy for you.

As much as that appeals, it's just not going to happen. There's no way we can afford it and personally can't think of anything worse than flying all that way with a newborn, a 3 year old and the world's stroppiest 9 year old, especially when I don't fly well anyway and OH has never flown so doesn't know how he will react! The only way we could do something like that is to wait, save up and do it next year when the car loan has been cleared which kind of defeats the object.

I'm now leaning more towards normal RO (either Helensburgh or Glasgow as they both look lovely) than Gretna for the cost factor although we shall see how we go with sourcing baby stuff on the cheap first (tip: don't get rid of stuff from the last baby until you're absolutely sure you're not having any more!).

If we can't do the wedding in the summer so DD can start school in Scotland in August, we can aim for half-term in October. We've already done 8 months apart so another 9 isn't the end of the world really. It is totally going to depend on when OH does his first patrol but it's looking like he'll be in holdover for a fair while giving us plenty of time to get things organised.

My Dad and Step-Mum got married in Gretna and only took the 3 of us kids (we were about 11, 10 and 8ish) and we all had a great day...except when my little brother was trusted with the video camera to video the blacksmiths bit and filmed someone else...ooops! As far as I can remember we stayed in a lovely hotel/B&B and they got married at a registry office then went to the blacksmiths to do a bit of a ceremony afterwards. I think if it was nice because we all felt part of the whole process which was important to my Dad and Step-Mum because we're a "broken" family! Do it whichever way makes you happy and have a lovely day

Registry all the way lol do it your way and have a lovely day