Thread: Planning a wedding

Ok, I have now entered the stress zone commonly known as planning our wedding!!

I had no idea how stressful it would be and how easy it is to upset people!

Date set, so any tips / advice all welcome

How on earth do you choose a dress, i try on about 15 things when going on a night out!!!

Kitty

x

If its second time around then go abroad! If you have to keep the families happy - then youre fcked!!!!

Just remember, its YOUR day. It is completely impossible to keep everyone happy so be prepared for someone to get a bag on, including you. If you have split parents then I would suggest a top table for you and Mr Kitty and the girls and boys (bridesmaids and best man), then put everyone else on round tables going down the room. Then you can put both parents near you but not sat together.

Dresses, go and try lots on. What you think will suit often doesnt! Set a budget and stick to it. And go to lots of places and buy lots of mags so you have an idea of what you like.

Will Mr K wear blues or No 2's? Think about the colour of the bridesmaids clashing with him! oh and if they are grown up ones then they may hire their dresses instead of expecting you to foot the bill.

Thats my thoughts so far anyway. Good luck Kitts, you will need it but remember, this day will go so so fast you need to stop worrying about everyone else and look after you pair. Enjoy it above all else!

Dizzy x

Thanks Dizzy,

I think im finding it hard being away from all my friends and family and cant just pop round to get opinions etc, anyway just have to get on with it.

Mr Kitty will be wearing his Blues on the big day.

No doubt i will be posting lots more on here.

Kitty

How long have you got to plan it? I've done it in 6 months and while I've had my moments it's been quite good not to have too much time to dither and change my mind about things.

Only delegate the things you're fairly relaxed about. My bridesmaid has arranged the hen night. A friend is doing the table decorations and my mum has done loads of stuff including the invitations. Mr K has done b*gger all but that has mainly been due to being a) away a lot and b) of the opinion that whatever makes me happy will make him happy.

You might be lucky with the dress - I got goosebumps with the first one I tried and nothing else came close. Make sure you go to a shop where you feel relaxed and they give you constructive advice.

PM CocoaKid - she has loads of tips.

Get wedding insurance that will cover you if Mr K gets sent away unexpectedly, and be aware they only cover you if he's sent abroad not if he's on duty, exercise etc in the UK. Oh and if he's having a sword make sure that's covered as well.

And enjoy it

A tip from someone who had a we dding on a budget! Never ever get ripped off. shop around, because as soon as the W word is mentioned they see pound signs.

Esp with the credit crunch, if something seems expensive then it probably is! Don't be afraid to play hard ball, and don't be afraid to tell anyone you can get it cheaper elsewhere. People won't want to lose business for the sake of a couple of quid.

My family were very involved in the planning, but I'm lucky in that they wouldn't try to take over. Be very clear that this is your wedding, and you don't want tantrums, but it has to go your way.

Oh and if anyone has a strop about not being invited, then they didn't deserve to be in the first place. Any real friend or good family member will understand and wish you well anyway.

I know it's stressful, but it's also kind of fun, and hopefully you'll only be doing it once so enjoy the girly days out trying on dresses with your buddies, planning the hen night, cake tasting etc etc.

Last but not least I agree with Dizzy, the day is about you two, and it goes so quickly, so enjoy every second of it.

XXXXXXXX

Definitely the wedding insurance! I was married when Bosnia kicked off with no warning. There were lots of very unhappy brides to be I can tell you!

Also, ask what they will do for cash. There are deals to be done. Are you going home for the big day? If not I have lots of numbers for "stuff" if you want them, cakes etc, who wont rip you off.

Wedding dresses, you might find a nice one in the sales right now. Take an honest friend with you who will tell you whether you look like a meringue or not.

If its a church do then book the reception around the date as the church is the important bit! Shop around for venues too. Think about what you want food wise - buffet or sit down.

PM me and give me details As Kazzam said, I have LOADS of stuff !

I did my wedding on a really tight budget and in less than 2 months! I was lucky in that my mum paid for the registry office, and reception, and my nails and hair, and my mums best mate bought my wedding dress the week before the actual date!

As people have already said, shop around. 2 of my bridesmaids dresses cam from select in the sale for £12, and my 3rd one came from ebay for a fiver. All their shoes came from a market stall, and to save on money I didn't get real flowers.

If you know people that can make favors, invitation, cake etc. then go for it.

As for people sulking and bein a pain in the ass! I got that, and they weren't invited! It's your day, and if someone is going to make you worry about how THEY feel then basically screw them!

Good luck, and keep us updated!

Elle xox

We got married 5 months ago so its all quite fresh.

Make yourself a list of everything that you need to get done/booked/sourced, its helpful if you know what colour scheme you want at this stage.

Find something you like then hunt the internet for it, you will often find exactly the same product for a hell of a lot less than your first price quoted.

Remember to get a photographer booked asap.

As for dresses go and try loads of at various shops, you will know when you find the one.

Do what makes you happy, its your wedding day no-one elses.

If you want anything specific PM me.

I'm in the same boat! :?
I am having the most trouble finding a venue that wont require the GNP of a small country to pay for it!

A friend of ours is doing the photography as a present for us because the cheapest I've been quoted is £1500. I can think of a million other things to spend that money on, so my friend volunteered, and I thought it was a lovely idea. Only 12 weeks and 1 day to go now!!

SC - you should try where we got married - only £850 deposit, then a £1000 for food deposit etc. Made it around £2500 in total for a beautiful 3 course meal of our choice (they have set menus but only for ideas and are very flexible) and they were fab!

www.escot-house.co.uk in Devon. LUSH!

I loved planning our wedding day. Couldn't let anyone else do too much cos I knew just how I wanted it to be and thankfully Mr. Choc Chip was happy to let me deal with it all!

I bought Wedding Ideas magazines to help with ideas for stuff but basically, work yourself through the day, what do you want to happen, what will you need to make it happen then make a list. ie start with the morning....you'll want your hair and make up done, nails etc, so look for and book beauty salon or a friend to do this for you. Where do you want to get ready on the day of the wedding, hotel? find and book one or from home...arrange transport.....talk through the day and what you would need at each stage... obviously book up the more important things first, don't plan your wedding day around the only appointment you can get a leg wax!

Plan the day how YOU and mr kitty want it, as already been said, its YOUR day, stuff those who don't like your plans, it's not their wedding and you want to be happy with the end result.

Most importantly, enjoy the whole experience, despite the odd stresses I had, I loved the planning and the build up to the big day and that helped me enjoy the wedding.

oh yeah, could your OH ask around at work for anyone doing photography?
Where roughly are you planning on getting married? Perhaps others on here could recommend suppliers if they know the area?

good luck with it all and congratulations xx

We got married at Torbay Registry office which was £43.50 plus £60.00 for the notices, its big old mansion with gorgeous gardens, we had the reception at the Berry Head Hotel in Brixham, no charge to hire the room/gardens/marquee and they can cater for any budget, stunning views too.

hiya, I got hitched in Aug 08. went abroad & it was perfect. bought the 1st dress I put on, cos the OH loved it (he came shopping with me - his choice) but my point is when its the right one, you will know.
we just had to turn up with rings and outfits, spent an hour going through any bits we did/didn't want when we arrived at the hotel, colour of bouquet, meals for eve, elephants outfit! etc...
well, whatever you do, good luck, enjoy and do it YOUR way x

hi kitty and congrats

question, is this going to be an all ages wedding ?

what I mean is if you are going to have elderly relatives or young children can I suggest looking for somewhere that will throw in a couple of extra rooms, offer to pay cash, set one up with comfy seats and a nice tea service, the other strip clear of any breakables, if you can get mates to loan you floor cushions all the better, get hold of a tele and DVD player and bribe a couple of the older ones to watch the little ones, that way elders have somewhere they can escape to if they want a little peace and the kids can let off some steam without knocking over someones drink,

Grrrr bickering has started between divorced parents!

Any tips?

Stressed out Kitty

x

Originally Posted by Icklemisskitty

Grrrr bickering has started between divorced parents!

Any tips?

Stressed out Kitty

x

thats why we flew 11hrs away to get married x

Point out that this is your wedding and you will be doing it your way. Tell them that if they upset you and won't behave like adults they won't be invited or you'll elope.

Sorry, I'm feeling a bit militant on this one at the moment for some reason

This is something that really gets my goat, who do people think they are to dictate to others at their wedding, it causes nothing but stress with trying to keep everyone happy when all you should be doing is keeping you pair happy!

Ignore them, thats what I did when my mother in law started, she is such a jealous person its untrue, she wouldnt come to the wedding in Rhodes that has always been my dream so we had it over here, it was originally going to be in Lincoln which she was more than happy with, then we decided to bring it forward and have it down in Devon where both sets of parents live, we had it at Brixham where my parents live, but she wanted to know why we couldnt have it between my parents and them even though she was happy with it being in Lincoln, 400 odd miles away! She tried to stick her oar in everyway possible just so she wasnt forgotten I dont think, they couldnt afford to contribute towards the wedding which is fine we didnt expect it but she whined on at my husband saying how low she felt as they couldnt give us anything, errrr we were not exactly going to have people asking 'and who paid for this wedding exactly?' - grrrr can you tell this still annoys me??!!