Thread: Planning a wedding

First tip for divorced parents is what I advised my mate to do, as both hers and her hubby's parents are remarried.

If you're intending on having a sit-down reception, or even, a buffet-style , then what about ensuring that the place settings show that the divorced parents "host" their own table? Basically, it's an easy way of making sure that the separated couples don't have to sit on the same table as each other, and at the same time, telling each set of parents that they're SO important to you, that they host their own table. Problem of people sitting together - resolved in a one-r.

Gretna is a nice place but the anvil room - if that's where you're getting married, isn't the largest. I don't know how many guests you're intending on having, but there is a limit in Scotland of 80 people attending a civil ceremony (by law), which is always nice to have if you need to restrict invites.

Best thing to remember is that this is YOUR day, YOUR way. Doesn't matter a dot who the hell is paying for it, as if parents want to give you money towards your big day, settle it straight off that they DO NOT, under any circumstances, have any , and I mean, ANY, input into your wedding day.

I don't envy your position but bear in mind that you will never, ever, please everyone who is coming to your big day, but that's not the actual point of the day itself. The point is that you and Mr Kitty are tying the knot to each other, and if you wanted to do that, dressed in a clown outfit, dancing barefoot on a beach to a Caribbean steel band, then damn well do it. You only get to do it once (at least with each other) so don't let people interfere. If you're not firm NOW, it'll be hell later on. Trust me.


Without knowing how many people you want to invite, what kind of reception etc. that you're after, I can't help with actual details, but I would say that there are certain things that you simply don't need for a wedding as you'll never notice them. Honestly.

1. Chair covers. Don't fork out £3 to £6 a chair for a piece of cloth and a bow on the back of them, unless you have so much money to spare. They're a hassle, they're pointless, and people really, really don't sit and talk about if your chairs match your "theme", unless they're really bitchy and then they shouldn't be there in the first place.

2. People you don't know/haven't seen in years/feel obliged due to family to invite. Make your guest list of your FRIENDS and people that you LIKE. If that doesn't include your cousin's neice's best friend, then who cares ? I didn't even invite one of my brothers to my wedding, as I knew he'd probably turn up just to be an a.sehole, and felt no guilt whatsoever. I didn't invite a LOT of family too - and purposefully chose a venue that could only hold a certain amount , and prioritised OUR friends, not those of our family. Seriously, it'll be a happier day if people you LIKE are there and you'll enjoy it all the more.

3. Sit down and think of a reasonable sum of money, that you can afford/parents can afford, for a budget before you start on ANYTHING. I had a figure in mind and was determined that the kind of wedding day I wanted was one which stuck to that.

4. Prioritise what's important to you on your day. Some people desperately want "the whole show" but think about who you're impressing. Don't do things just for the sake of it, like doves flying off, fireworks going off after dinner (which is lovely, but it's around £1500 for a ten minute display, and that's a set of honeymoon tickets to the Far East). For example, I was absolutely determined that food and drink were a priority, and that it was to be a party - with people all dressed up as our friends don't always have the opportunity to get their glad-rags on as they're a bit lazy So our food and drink is STILL being talked about, especially the cake and the wedding cheese :lol:

5. Ebay is your friend. Don't be afraid of going into wedding dress shops for things, finding a style of dress that you like, and a colour you like, then seeing if you can get it cheaper on Ebay. There is nothing wrong with a second-hand wedding dress, it's worn ONCE then people tend to want to get rid of them, and normally they're in mint condition. If you don't like that thought, and want a designer dress, then consider the exchange rate and see how much you can get one from the US for. My friend had a Maggie Sottero wedding dress and ended up buying 2 from the US in the end - for less than the price of 1 in the shops here. You'll perhaps need a dressmaker to ensure it fits right, but shop around.

6. Don't have thousands of bridesmaids, just because. And establish what you expect from your bridesmaid/s before they accept to do the job. Some people want a lot of help, others just want them to stand and look pretty. My mate was outstanding on the day, and just said "right, you are not to worry about anything - you come and get me if there is something bothering you, and I'll sort it out". I only had to call on her once - and I'm glad she was there!

I'll witter on later but let me know via PM if you want, or on here, and I'll help out as much as I can..

Get that budget sorted and keep away from the parents until you want to talk to them. Sounds easy for me to say, but it's necessary to get it done, otherwise you'll be stressed and angry and upset and you won't enjoy the whole process, which is half the fun!

Hello,

Still here and still planning.

Its all getting so stressful, I am trying not to upset people but seem to be doing so on a daily basis and worrying about everyone else and not myself and Mr Kitty!

Eloping is looking like a much better option!

Kitty
x

Hey Kitty

Congratulations on your forthcoming wedding!! Its such an exciting time!!
I am in exactly the same boat as you i am planning our wedding at the mo, trying to get things done before he goes away! It is stressful, but just remember what YOU want and not what anyone else wants. My parents are divorced too and i know its going to be a nightmare well my Dad has already been, so i understand what your going through.
What iv found is to try and not get wedding obsessed, book and pay deposits quite in advance if you can. And iv found it so useful to keep a spreadsheet of the budget and what i spend on what!!

If you wanna chat or anything swap tips PM me.
Good luck with it all hun
xxxxx

Wedding is a special day for bride and groom, before wedding day everyone decide all the function and events of wedding. Catering is very crucial step in wedding planning. A lot of people have to deal with picky guests and with deciding what to serve. They will spend more money on wedding food than any other aspect of your reception.

Maybe you specialise in the culinary delights of spam??

A Very long time since we got married, used to help a friend out with her catering business and she did a lot of weddings! Best one was where the reception was held in a local park / garden, the food and wine was done in picnic baskets and guests were asked to bring picnic rugs and chairs, guests then were able to sit where they wanted in the garden and bride and groom wandered around and saw everyone! also very easy for catering staff we just wandered around topping up glasses.

I think with any wedding you have two choices, you can go the ' its our marriage, but their wedding' route, and make sure that everyone else is happy. OR you can say sod it ! and make your own choices, if you choose the sod it route, then i would suggest you dont tell anyone anything, if your OH wants to know and take part then fine, but not the mothers or MIL or whoever is giving you grief, smile sweetly and say ' this is your day as much as mine, and i want you to be suprised with what i am arranging'. then get them some special flowers or arrange for a song or something, if you have the money arrange for them to go to a spa the day before. hopefully they are delighted that they are so special to you and stay out of your hair. of course, if all else fails tell them to feck off !!!