Thread: Moving out of barracks???

Son is living in barracks and on the phone last night to his Dad he said something about moving out of barracks into a hostel ??? Not sure if this was correct

But are there any rules about them moving out of barracks, single man that is, not a family?

Good idea or not - I would be interested to know others experiences.

I think they need permission too move out of barracks, A friend of ours lives off barracks him and a few lads private rent a house. They seem to enjoy and he said it gives him his own space which is not ruled by the army so he enjoys it.

Sorry i can't be much more help x

There is a shortage of barracks where Mr D is and some of the guys live off in flats as alternative- its still paid at normal rate and the mod pay the shortfall. It tends to be the nco's at his place but maybe its someting like that?

Personally I am not very happy about this which is why I am trying to find out more. He is only on his 2nd month over there and I think he has made some mates but possibly not life long mates yet, not enough to move out into their own flat. He has only ever lived at home or in barracks, never had a place of his own so he knows nothing about paying bills etc and he has very poor financial judgement.
The room he has now is huge, far bigger even than our living room and he has it set up with loads of furniture he bought from the lad he took over from. I am not sure how he is going to move it all or even if there would be room for it all if he went elsewhere in which case he would also be selling onto the next lad who moves into the room and end up with nothing again. So yet more spending
Also I write to him at least once a week, not easy to remember to say everything when he rings and the line is usually poor. The BF PO system may be a bit slow but at least its consistant and secure, sending letters via normal Cyprus mail I would never be too sure about and also more expensive!

You might be surprised how quickly friendships can be formed in some situations. Within a fortnight of starting basic my OH made a friend who I don't think we'll be getting rid of in a hurry lol

How old is your son? If he's old enough to join the army then surely he's old enough to manage living by himself? I understand your concern about financial management though (I used to work for a debt charity and know how easily things go wrong) but it surely wouldn't be any different from living in a shared house in the UK would it?

He will need permission to live out (and I do believe that part of this is a security issue) but there are plenty of places to rent in the nearby villages of Pyla and Oroklini. He'd probably be able to pick up a decent 1 bed apartment on a complex for less than 500 euros a month but I've no doubt that's probably a lot more than he's paying now, leaving much fewer beer tokens to play with!

This camp is very quiet and seems to be getting smaller and smaller so there aren't as many people kicking around; he maybe needs to find something to keep him occupied....I can thoroughly recommend learning to scuba dive!

What sort of hostel? Do you mean a backpackers hostel? I don't think that would be a good idea, as the atmosphere would be too transient. However, living in an apartment and the MoD picking up the shortfall would be a good experience.
TLC x

Yes I think he probally does make mates quite quickly but we never here him saying "me and x are going to the pub tonight when shift finishes" or Y and me met two nice girls so we are going to y to see the new xxxx film" etc. In the UK he has quite a huge bunch of mates from various groups he has had for years - work, college, school etc but there are 2 best mates in particular he met at secondary school, all of them a bit immature for their years, well lads are a few years behind girls anyway.
I just worry that he has met lads out there who say "great, lets get a flat together" without no thought or preperation, the others spending all of their pay on the usual stuff that lads do and in the end its my son who ends up coughing up for all of the bills - or even worse its my son who goes wild and leaves himself with no money to pay bills!
He has made quite a few stupid mistakes with money - the usual stuff that as he is earning it it gives him the right to buy what he wants and when he wants and he would never dream of asking anyones opinion on anything before making a major purchase. At 22 you know everything that there is ever to know.
I think the crux of the matter is that I know what he is doing in his working hours and I while he is living in barracks I dont have to worry about him. The 2 main things are secure and he can do what and when in his social time as he has always done. Out of barracks, something I'd not thought of before he is a bit more of a loose cannon

A lot of the lads find they don't like the confines of barracks. My husband hates it there. So much so that when we had the choice of areas (3 differing ones all getting further away from camp) he had us opt for the one six miles away because he doesn't like living and breathing work. We now live 5 minutes away and the only bit he likes about it is that he can get up half an hour later.

I know as his mum your first instinct is to protect him but it may well do him the world of good. You'd be surprised how quickly they become bloody good mates, they live and breathe each other for a long time (especially if they've gone through basic together as well) and these are the people that may wel hold their lives in their hands at some point. And if it does all go horribly wrong he's in an enviable situation in that he has a fall back and can put his tail between his legs and return to barracks. Yes he might be in a bit of debt when he does but that can be repaid and he'll have learnt a valuable life lesson.

Originally Posted by Tootsie_Le_Coq

What sort of hostel? Do you mean a backpackers hostel? I don't think that would be a good idea, as the atmosphere would be too transient. However, living in an apartment and the MoD picking up the shortfall would be a good experience.
TLC x

This is what worries me. Last night he asked to speak to his Dad and I only learned about this "plan" much later so I only know from hearsay with no details.

On a normal week we get maybe a one line message via facebook and I ring him and talk for about half an hour, the line is very poor so I can hardly hear him and then there seems to be a bit if a time lag - he cant get wi fi he says and we hav eonly been able to skype once But in the last day we have had 3 calls and a text which worries me that something is going on ...

Originally Posted by Special_Tree

A lot of the lads find they don't like the confines of barracks. My husband hates it there. So much so that when we had the choice of areas (3 differing ones all getting further away from camp) he had us opt for the one six miles away because he doesn't like living and breathing work. We now live 5 minutes away and the only bit he likes about it is that he can get up half an hour later.

I know as his mum your first instinct is to protect him but it may well do him the world of good. You'd be surprised how quickly they become bloody good mates, they live and breathe each other for a long time (especially if they've gone through basic together as well) and these are the people that may wel hold their lives in their hands at some point. And if it does all go horribly wrong he's in an enviable situation in that he has a fall back and can put his tail between his legs and return to barracks. Yes he might be in a bit of debt when he does but that can be repaid and he'll have learnt a valuable life lesson.

Yes he is not far from work now so he can walk there very easily but if he moves out I know it will much further away. His car is not working either.

Is is not very domesticated either now. Both my lads were brought up to be able to do chores around the house and to be independant and both were good cooks but since he left home and went for basic training and everything has been done for him since over the last few years all those skills have been lost. Whenever he was home on leave his room would be a total mess and if I asked him to do anything eg dry up or sort wet socks into pairs he would point blank refuse ....

Originally Posted by charlie_five

He will need permission to live out (and I do believe that part of this is a security issue) but there are plenty of places to rent in the nearby villages of Pyla and Oroklini. He'd probably be able to pick up a decent 1 bed apartment on a complex for less than 500 euros a month but I've no doubt that's probably a lot more than he's paying now, leaving much fewer beer tokens to play with!

This camp is very quiet and seems to be getting smaller and smaller so there aren't as many people kicking around; he maybe needs to find something to keep him occupied....I can thoroughly recommend learning to scuba dive!

Yes the money thing is a huge worry. He spends every single penny he earns, barely struggles from one month to another and has not saved anything in over a year and is actually dipping into his savings now. A quater of his salary goes into his UK bank account and he uses this for phone bills, Amazon, paypal etc and it is gone in a few days of payday.

So no he could not afford 500 euros a month.

I am also wondering if this is part of the problem, that he is not building up enough of a out of work social life. I keep saying to him that as its winter he should be doing as much exploring as possible, finding out what Cyrus has to offer before it gets too hot to venture further than the nearest air conditioning unit

I can assure you everything won't have been done for him at basic. My youngest sister in law has just come out of basic and she was the opposite to your son. The youngest of 4 so a little bit spoilt and though capable of cooking never really had to. She came out of basic with a new found independence and confidence in herself that really shocked Mr tree when he saw her.

I would guess, although I don't know, that the refusal to do anything at home might just be a reaction to having to do everything at work. Maybe he's decided he gets enough of people telling him his room has to be spotless (god bless block inspections) and decided that when he's on leave he's going to sit on his backside and do nothing, just because he can!

I can see why you'd worry about the extra contact all of a sudden but you said he'd been there 2 months now so maybe the novelty of the sun and the beaches is wearing off and he's just starting to get plain old fashioned homesick.

This is going to sound really harsh (monday blues and all that) but maybe he needs to make these mistakes for himself. If he is 22 he is a grown man and should be able to stand on his own feet and if he can't then he will soon learn.

I can't help reading and thinking is this boy 12 or 22- lets just put this in perspective a little- at 22 I was budgeting for Mr D and me to get a house- six months later when I was 23 I bought said house whilst Mr D was off doing his thing- I refurbished it and moved us in- all on my todd. I do the finance and Mr D does the DIY (after I show him how!) but the point is there is no reason he can't move out and do all this for himself. if he messes it up he can go back to block- hell Mr D has had lads who drunk all their pay over a weekend and couldnt afford food on a Monday! The army acted like a safety net- he wouldnt get that in civvie street so its probably a good time for him to see if he can manage on his own.

I think it's safe to say that there are no such things as 'hostels' in Cyprus so not sure if something's got lost in translation there. I don't know what the internet setup is in his block but there are, as Gonzo said on another thread, wifi spots around camp and just off camp, he just needs to find one!

Not having a car does make life a bit tricky as nothing is within walking distance (apart from camp facilities) and so I doubt he'd get permission to live out if he can't get himself to work. As for not being domesticated, it might sound harsh but if he wants to live like that there's not a great deal you can do about it from 2000 miles away, he's just going to have to learn the hard way!

Oh, and if he's got a Cypriot phone then texting is as cheap as chips so don't be letting him tell you it's too expensive to keep in touch!

This is his first posting, already done basic and 2nd training. They had very few inspections in 2nd training and seem to have even less now.

During training he was home about once a month, mainly to see his mates which was not always easy as his mates are all working now but they fitted in all the usual things plus marathon DVD and x box sessions. I think if he is home sick now it might be more for his mates, apart from odd messages on facebook I dont know wether they make huge efforts to keep in touch.

I do think he is having trouble settling in. He says the job is tedious. He has only been to the beach once

He tends to be a pack animal. likes to hang around with his mates. I suppose though everyone is on shifts and organising things is not easy

Originally Posted by Special_Tree

I can assure you everything won't have been done for him at basic. My youngest sister in law has just come out of basic and she was the opposite to your son. The youngest of 4 so a little bit spoilt and though capable of cooking never really had to. She came out of basic with a new found independence and confidence in herself that really shocked Mr tree when he saw her.

I would guess, although I don't know, that the refusal to do anything at home might just be a reaction to having to do everything at work. Maybe he's decided he gets enough of people telling him his room has to be spotless (god bless block inspections) and decided that when he's on leave he's going to sit on his backside and do nothing, just because he can!

I can see why you'd worry about the extra contact all of a sudden but you said he'd been there 2 months now so maybe the novelty of the sun and the beaches is wearing off and he's just starting to get plain old fashioned homesick.

As I suspect, all he has to do is to go walkabout with his laptop and find the wi-fi places or just to ask people in his block so I dont know why he does not do this - might be too much effort. He know that whenever we are away we go looking for wi fi spots so we can send emails and photos home etc. Nearly always do we manage to find somewhere with wi fi.

As you say he is making the communication thing more difficult than it needs to be. I know he needs to feel separted from home but as he left home nearly 2 years ago now and he is now in Cyprus I think its a given fact that he is a seperate thing.

Yes he has a phone with a Cyprus sim in it. This is the 1st text I've had from him today.

The keeping in touch thing is something I've always tried to keep up, however busy things are. I've 2 living a long way from home now so however busy things are I always facebook message, email or text them sometime during the day - a joke or a funny photo or a youtube video or something, anything to keep the lines of communication open.

Originally Posted by charlie_five

I think it's safe to say that there are no such things as 'hostels' in Cyprus so not sure if something's got lost in translation there. I don't know what the internet setup is in his block but there are, as Gonzo said on another thread, wifi spots around camp and just off camp, he just needs to find one!

Not having a car does make life a bit tricky as nothing is within walking distance (apart from camp facilities) and so I doubt he'd get permission to live out if he can't get himself to work. As for not being domesticated, it might sound harsh but if he wants to live like that there's not a great deal you can do about it from 2000 miles away, he's just going to have to learn the hard way!

Oh, and if he's got a Cypriot phone then texting is as cheap as chips so don't be letting him tell you it's too expensive to keep in touch!

Honestly I think that's just males! Mr Tree and I both live a good few hours from our parents and I pick up the phone regularly and speak to my mum, send her texts and pictures of the kids etc. I also send his mother pictures of the kids because getting him to text or ring her is like pulling teeth!

If we go and visit it's because I say right lets take the kids over to your parents, it is very very rarely his suggestion and when birthdays come around it is once again me making sure he sends a card and remembers to send at least a text on the day.

I think he only remembers mine and the kids birthdays because he knows I'd castrate him if he didn't!

He's only been here a couple of months and Cyprus in winter is not the most fun to be had! (it's raining as we speak and has been doing so for the past few weeks) It's colder than people think and the beach is a no go for a couple of months yet. When the weather gets better, people go out more, the tourist resorts open again and there are more things to do, although Ayia Napa square and now Protaras are Out of Bounds.

I find on this camp there is a certain amount of 'can't be arsed-ness' and unfortunately that can be a bit infectious. He'll be fine once he's settled in but he has to find his own feet! I've been here for 2 years and although I'm always generally busy with work, playing sport, diving etc I do get a bit socially frustrated!

Hello
Being a parent I can understand your concerns. However, my OH is only a year or two older than your son, he's been in the Army since leaving school and from what he's told me he spent a good while at first 'Living the dream', which basically consisted in him spending his wages as fast as he got them...which I think is pretty normal for anyone who starts getting a regular income when they're young.

I think if he does live off barracks it might be a good thing, whether its a baptism of fire or it works out. They have to learn to stand on their own two feet and do things for themselves and manage their money, the one thing that will make sure that happens is a few months being totally skint.

My OH found it difficult when he got his first posting, although it was in the UK it was an 8-9 hour drive home for him so he stayed on camp at first. He then got more social and got closer with the lads, his weekends consisted of them all getting bladdered and having a great time but the bonds were made.

He loves his Mum dearly but rarely does think to call or text her, I usually ask if he's spoken to his parents and instigate contact- its not because he doesn't care just that he knows they'll get in contact should they need him etc.

I would say as hard as it is, take a step back- don't concern yourself trying to get HIS car fixed, don't worry about contact too much- he will contact you, lads just don't think like us! He has to do things for himself.

Things will just fall into place eventually- some things take time.

My kids who are 11 and 9 are expected to do things for themselves and are very capable (just little things around the house) yet I know they'd just sit back and let me do everything for them if I didn't ask them.

Its natural as a mum to worry, but its our job to prepare them for the real world for when they're out there fending for themselves- I find it hard letting go already but know I will be doing them a massive dis-service if I don't let them be independent (obviously we're talking age relevant things here).

Hope it all goes well xx