Thread: Biting

Any tips on how to stop a 20 month old from biting?
I've tried naughty step (she laughs), I've tried biting her, to the point where I have left a bruise, I've tried getting her sister to bite her back, I've tried taking her toys off her and I'm at my wits end.

Please help!!

Personally, I think by biting her back (or getting someone else to do it) is just giving her verification that biting is an acceptable thing to do...because you're all doing it.

What is her absolute favourite thing to do/have/eat during the day? As that could be the currency that she'll react to. One of the worst possible punishments for my boy (although he's 3 1/2) is the withdrawal of his bedtime story. Something we've only ever had to do twice, one of them being Thursday night when he bit me (for the first time ever) in the thigh leaving a dark purple bruise.

You could see whether it's an attention seeking trick by just gritting your teeth and pushing her away but further ignoring it. If she's not getting any attention from it she may stop.


Hope she stops soon!

My mum did the whole 'biting back' and it worked on me!

Every time she bites, make her bite a bar of soap. Or is that to cruel?

20mths, shes still a baby! Ignore it if you can.

Good luckx

I've tried taking her fave thing away, didn't work
At 20 months my other daughter started to bite, I only had to bite her once and she told me it hurt, she understood and hasn't done it since.
It's been going on for about 3 months now, we ignored it to start with thinking it was just a phase they all go through. It seems to be related to her not getting what she wants ie a toy from another child. It's getting worse to the point where everyday last week I picked her up from childminders to be told she'd bitten another child at least once.
Tonight she's left a really deep purple bruise on her sisters arm. I've tried getting the eldest to just walk away if she tries to bite but the bugger just follows her!

I hope this doesn't sound too mad but is it worth trying what worked with our puppy?! She bit everyone and everything and it wasn't puppy nipping it was full on biting followed by clamping (she was a big pup too!). Our dog trainer sugested hugely exaggerating the pain and then leaving the room whimpering taking the toy/treat whatever it was that she'd bitten for, with us, so... a loud 'OW!!' followed by a hurt look, whimpering and then brief abandonment. We'd then return to the room, continue playing with her and repeat when she did it again. It had been a persistent and worrying problem and she got the point within a day that if she hurt you, all interaction would stop.

We had a foster child who had a bitting problem. We did the ignoring and naughty step thing (as in don't talk to them until they are apologising after) It took us over six months to break the behaviour. No1 rule in the house was no violence and that was always made clear so whenever it happened it was straight to the naughty step no warning- really zero tolerance. Its a long slog but we got there eventually!

Good luck!

does she talk...our use to bite because she couldn't tell us what she wanted.
since she can talk the bting other people has stopped as she can bring her point across.
she bites herself now when we say no, which is a whole different matter

Yes she can talk, and its very clear for her age.
We do the zero tolerance, she's straight to the naughty step when she's done it.
Its not such a huge problem at home because I can deal with it, what bothers me is that she's doing it at the childminders on a regular basis. The childminder is really good and always puts her in time out for 5 minutes away from the other children, no matter where they are.
Perhaps we just need to persevere with the naughty step and just wait it out.

Well what a weekend.
I've been really hard on her, and after some advice from my health visitor and some of you lot we've taken a tough stand on it. It would appear she's doing it for attention more than anything (although I don't know why, she gets more than enough attention at home. However, I have just gone back to work full time after 4 months part time so that could be why)
When she does it we don't say a word to her, just pick her up, put her on the naughty step and then go and make a huge fuss over her sister, as she's the usual victim!! Then after 5 mins she has to go and say sorry, but gets no cuddles from me for about half an hour!! Littlest M does not like this one bit!! Initially it seems to be getting worse, but thats probably her really trying to push me, but we've stuck to it, and hopefully she'll realise we're not going to back down. We're also trying to really praise her when she plays nicely with her sister.

I feel its going to be a hard week, wish me luck!!!

Wishing you luck Mrs M. It is hard work breaking the attention seeking behaviour. It will all be worth it in the end though and just remember your will is stronger than hers!

Originally Posted by dizzy.chick

remember your will is stronger than hers!

I'm not convinced by that - unfortunately the little monster has got mine and her dad's stubborness!!!

You need to watch for the signs leading up to her biting, is something setting her off or does she do it to get a reaction? If she does it for a reaction, then (easier said than done), don't react i.e owwwwwwwwwwwww. When she goes to bite, hold the palm of your hand out firmly and say 'stop' in a dominating voice and then move away.

Might work, might not. If it does work, it may well take time too. Everyone in the household needs to do the 'not reacting thing' too.

Hi Jo - It all seems to have gone away. We completely ignored her when she did it - she was moved into the naughty step without talking to her, and lots of attention to whoever she had bitten. She still does it very very occasionally, but we use the same tactic with it.