Thread: Boarding School

Step son is off to boarding school on Monday evening - its not really that far from us but OH and his mother are both in army so continuity of education etc etc.

Anyway - he is a resilent little chap and takes most things in his stride and makes new friends easily - its us that are dreading him going to be honest.

But for those of you with experience of boarding school - do you have any words of advise for us? Do's/don'ts or things not to forget to send!

The school have been excellent with their comms and detailed lists of things to send but hearing others experiences is always appreciated.

Ta

My wee cherubs have been doing the boarding school thing for a few years...infact its 5years for big son...

pack them off with plenty of socks son 3 usually takes back 40 pairs they last him until exeat...he loses everything!

Don't forget to pack towels, I always do. If Matron is a nice wee soul who enjoys sewing send some spare name tapes whatever you've forgotten to tag will keep her busy.

Don't worry if your cherub doesn't call that'll mean they are having fun with new roomies....fun comes in all shapes and sizes. 8O

If wee one cries when you leave, a hug works wonders no words just a hug....telling them to "man up" makes my lot grin like Cheshire cats!

Once you get back home enjoy the peace safe in the knowledge that you have done the beat thing for your cherub.

I love my lot being away I'm not the "earth Mummy" who needs her brood around everyday.....but that said I am very unique!! :wav:

Daughter-thing should be disappearing off to school in April next year so I have no advice as yet so far as being a 'parent of' is concerned. But going from when I was boarding as a child I'd say write letters. Lots of letters. My Dad, bless him, made sure there was a letter waiting for me the day I arrived at school so I got it when they'd gone. I did that for daughter-thing when she went on guide camp this year and she said it really made a massive difference. It helped me too!!

Ive just finished sewing name tags onto everything - got a bit carried away naming combs, tooth brushes, shower gels etc!!

Our only saving grace is that the school is about 20 min drive from where we are - deliberately choosen, so that we can go visit and are in the area for anything. Somehow makes it worse that it is so close - makes us feel more guilty (and lm only the step mother!!) So if he does run out of socks its easy to replenish!!

And between us and his mother we can pick up at weekends - although knowing him once he settles in and finds out what activities are on at the weekends we will most likely be told not to bother picking him up! I got told by one lady who has both her children boarding that it takes until Easter for them to settle.

He's very young to be going away - turns 8 only in Feb - but the school does look amazing and he is going to get opportunities that we would never have been able to afford otherwise. And he is very resilent, doesnt do tears - and he has been in to meet new school mates and teachers so hopefully it wont be too daunting for him. Personally, ld be pooing myself but he is very chilled about the whole thing!!

Will put a letter in amongst his stuff in his trunk when we pack it up on Sunday from his dad, me and the dog, he is getting a mobile phone which the school keep so we can call him in the evenings and must set him up an email address so we can send him emails and pictures through too.

On top of him going off on Monday evening l start my new job on Monday too - everything always happens at once! And as for me and OH having house to ourselves that will be a novelty all on its own!

Oooh boarding school, what a fabulous idea.

Do they take them from 6 months??!!!

Don't do what I did and run to the school at the first sound of a quiver in the voice on the phone. The number of times I turned up after a two hour drive at high speed to find a perfectly happy child who said 'what are you doing here?' with genuine surprise, are too numerous to count.

Don't expect to be acknowledged by them in front of their pals. A grudgingly muttered 'yeah, this is my step-mum' when you were expecting arms flung around you is what you are likely to find.

Enjoy the peace, because come exeats he'll bring half a dozen kids home!

I actually think OH is going to be worse than me - l can harden myself and do the tough love thing - but for all his "manliness" he is actually a huge big softy!! Though right now l can find myself welling up at the thought of him actually going off on Monday in his little uniform which is so cute!

Maybe the fact the school is only 20 mins away will prove to be not such a good thing, too close - but only time will tell l guess!

Awh dont tell me that too cos he is such a lovely cuddly little boy and gives really good hugs - l dont want him to loose that just yet!! But l suppose l could turn a blind eye in front of his mates!

Our son has been going since September, he is going to be 10 in March and the school we picked is about a half hours drive away so we are close if he needs us and also for weekends. It's a lovely school and as other posters have said, the opportunities are endless, last term he did air rifle club in the evenings (husband was very jealous) amongst other things. The only problem we have had is that he isn't crazy about rugby which is like a cardinal sin at his school, he never played it before September and it took a while to get his head round it, and this actually put him off for a while. He also has this annoying habit of crying when we drop him off, I know that sounds harsh to call it 'annoying' but it really is an annoying habit! he has done this since 6 months old at nursery and we dropped him off there, and invariably I drive home feeling like a failure as a mum and then 9 tmes out of 10 I don't hear from him again for about 3 days and then he phones perfectly happy and saying 'sorry, didn't call as I've been busy having fun' only to do the same again the next week! My husband is harder than I am and has the attitude that he only cries for the sake of it and I know that this is probably true as we have called the school before only to be told 'he's fine, 5 minutes after you left he was on his rip board'. My daughter has just turned 7 and is absolutely desperate to join her brother, my husband says 'cool, you can go in September the term you turn 8' whereas I don't want her to go as I feel she is too young and yet I know that she was probably adapt better than her older brother as she is hard as nails!
Advice I would give after a term is, write lots of letters and send sweets (they have tuck night on a Wednesday at my sons school when they get their sweets), label absolutely everything as they lose absolutely everything. Don't send them with any 'play clothes' that you like as they will get totally ruined!

Originally Posted by sandramc

Our son has been going since September, he is going to be 10 in March and the school we picked is about a half hours drive away so we are close if he needs us and also for weekends. It's a lovely school and as other posters have said, the opportunities are endless, last term he did air rifle club in the evenings (husband was very jealous) amongst other things. The only problem we have had is that he isn't crazy about rugby which is like a cardinal sin at his school, he never played it before September and it took a while to get his head round it, and this actually put him off for a while. He also has this annoying habit of crying when we drop him off, I know that sounds harsh to call it 'annoying' but it really is an annoying habit! he has done this since 6 months old at nursery and we dropped him off there, and invariably I drive home feeling like a failure as a mum and then 9 tmes out of 10 I don't hear from him again for about 3 days and then he phones perfectly happy and saying 'sorry, didn't call as I've been busy having fun' only to do the same again the next week! My husband is harder than I am and has the attitude that he only cries for the sake of it and I know that this is probably true as we have called the school before only to be told 'he's fine, 5 minutes after you left he was on his rip board'. My daughter has just turned 7 and is absolutely desperate to join her brother, my husband says 'cool, you can go in September the term you turn 8' whereas I don't want her to go as I feel she is too young and yet I know that she was probably adapt better than her older brother as she is hard as nails!
Advice I would give after a term is, write lots of letters and send sweets (they have tuck night on a Wednesday at my sons school when they get their sweets), label absolutely everything as they lose absolutely everything. Don't send them with any 'play clothes' that you like as they will get totally ruined!

I love this post - its 100% about the harsh realities of parenting where sometimes you have to exercise tough love. I honestly take my hat off to you for posting something that is so personal and so very honest.

Welcome by the way,

me
x

Just a few thoughts from someone who has got one son through prep school, senior school and now on to university, and a daughter through a service school in Germany, prep school and just started senior school.

Remember the school have seen it all before, they have had numerous boys and girls in their care over the years and usually know how to deal with any problems that arise.

Only make promises that you know you can keep, it matters hugely to them if you say you will come and watch them play sport or take part in a play etc, if you fail to turn up it will hurt them.

Make friends with other parents so when you are posted away and you can not make it for exeats etc there is always somewhere/someone you know that they can stay.

Letters and parcels are great morale boosters, if you are sending "tuck" make sure that the does not contravene the school policy on sweets etc or they may have some explaining to do, we mark the parcels that contain contraband with a "red cross" so that they are forewarned and can open them in private.

There are all sorts of ways of communicating these days, phone, mobile, e-mail, SMS, skype find one that is most reliable easiest for your offspring and make sure it is reliable, if you go abroad have a backup such as a phone card so they can use any phone anywhere in the UK.

And as has been mentioned before name everything, expensive items such as coats fleecies etc we name them in the usual fashion and then also put a double name tape on the zipper, so that when it has been "borrowed" it can be identified even when being worn.

Again as has been mentioned regard socks as an expense item, send them with 10 pairs and any that come back are a bonus (if they still fit).

When they come home enjoy their company, I have had some of the most interesting and informative conversations with my daughter over dinner when we have stopped over in a hotel at the end of term, sometimes it is just not worth fighting the M25/M20 to cross the channel late so stay over and get home by mid day the following day rather than in the middle of the night.

Don't get uptight if they tell you they are going to dye their hair, just point out to them that they are the ones who are going to have to live with it and walk down the street with whatever colour hair they choose not you. My son dyed his hair very blonde it did not worry me though he got a huge bollocking from his girlfriend.

These are just a few of my initial thoughts, we did not get it all right but our son continued to talk to us throughout his teens and our daughter seems to be going the same way.

Originally Posted by Purdy

Step son is off to boarding school on Monday evening - its not really that far from us but OH and his mother are both in army so continuity of education etc etc.

Anyway - he is a resilent little chap and takes most things in his stride and makes new friends easily - its us that are dreading him going to be honest.

But for those of you with experience of boarding school - do you have any words of advise for us? Do's/don'ts or things not to forget to send!

The school have been excellent with their comms and detailed lists of things to send but hearing others experiences is always appreciated.

Ta

Being in a new environment like a therapeutic school will surely make him miss home. You can also include those things that he loves at home, a favorite pillow or blanky perhaps. And some add-ons like buying him something that he loves and that can be useful for him in school. Communication is also important, he may find new good friends, but the warmth of a family is always something!