Thread: Opinions please

Quite Tixylicks. I am tired of offering him solutions, time he did some ground work. He sent me an email yesterday going on about Christmas, I told him Ben would be here for contact. So far he hasn't responded. We shall see what happens

''The applicant mother shall make the child available for contact with the respondent father as follows:"

What is the 'as follows?'

Really isn't clear is it?!

The problem is that the ambiguity leaves it wide open for your ex to challenge in court. Looking at it dispassionately, moving the child abroad and then effectively saying 'you want him come and get him' wouldn't stand up in court. Moving too far away to facilitate reasonable access, could easily be challenged and would be likely to be upheld, making you legally obliged to deliver the child to his father and collect him as and when ordered by the court.

There will be a compromise that your ex will accept in order to save time, money and angst returning to court. Perhaps you could deliver him and your ex could return him? or maybe you could take your little boy to the airline and let him meet the appointed person who would accompany him before he takes the flights alone? You asked what we would do, and what I would do is look for the compromise and show my little boy that I was working for a way for him to see his Father which didn't involve his dad holing up in a hotel room.

Heli,

I wish that I could go into detail on here and fully explain why I asked the question in the first place. All I will say is that I was granted removal from the jurisdiction and was told that I had offered "substantial" contact. My ex husband has already tried to contest the order once, and failed because he did not tell his solicitor the full facts. My solicitor has confirmed that he will never be able to overturn the decision because of Mr Samm1551's job.

We have made every effort to ensure that my ex see's my son every time he is due to, delivering him to his door and picking him up after. The one time that I asked him to pick his son up because said son will not fly on his own as he is scared, he refused. At the time I had asked him I was 7 months pregnant and had horrendous sciatica rendering me unfit to travel. In reality I could not get down the stairs to our flat let alone drive 8 hours to my ex's house to drop my son off, turn around and come back and and then do it again a week later. Even though Mr Samm1551 had been told by my medical staff that I should not be left alone for long periods (I was also in early labour) he offered to drive the distance, but in the end the weather was against us.

The "as follows" is the weeks he should have contact with my son.

I know how it must look if you don't know all of it, but believe me my life would be sooo much easier if my ex knew the art of negotiation or compromise.

My son should see his father, but my ex also has to take some responsibility for his contact.