Thread: When to try?

Hiya!

Im new to the army way of life as my hubby is applying for Sandhurst at the mo, I previously had no idea about anything Army, but im learning very quickly. Mr G has asked millions of questions on fam visits of other married officers and how they have a family as well as be good officers and he has got some really encouraging advice. But its man on man stuff, and im well aware that behind those strong men there is a bloody strong woman too.

Just wondered how on earth you plan when a good time to have a bubba is and how you maximise the likelihood that hubby is around for the birth and for at least the 1st few precious months of that childs life?

Also schools...... How do you provide stability, does anyone keep their home roughly in one place and try to allow somehow the kids to stay at the same school- i guess this basically means being away from hubby??

Sorry for all the questions but thought you would probably have much more real experience than anyone else...

Thanks ladies xx

Hello,
Well, there is no "good" time to plan on having a family, they'll go away at some point, its just army life. Its tough but we've all been there. I was 8 months pregnant with 2nd baby when my hubby went to Afghanistan, he made it back just in time for the birth, then went back for another 5 months.
As for schooling - some children move around with the parents going to many different schools. I did that with my dad and it wasn't so bad, didn't affect my schooling too much. Or you can pack them off to boarding school which alot of parents seem to do for that stability. The army will help with the cost of this too which is a bonus.
It'll be a personal thing. I don't plan on sending my kids to boarding school, they'll continue to move around with us.
You'll find that you'll move around every 2 years or so, if you're lucky you might stay somewhere a little longer.

It's very difficult to try to start a family when the OH is away for most of the month - or months - and his being home doesn't match the dates in the female cycle!

My hubby's timetable is up to the RN, but I know a few of his mates that have been able to get home once their wife has gone into labour. There's also paternity leave in the RN, but how long you get is all up to duty requirements and ship movements.

In other words, don't put your hopes on hubby being home for the birth and certainly not for the early months (or first words, first steps, first bike without stabilisers). If he actually is, that's a fantastic bonus.

As for schooling, my neice and nephews travelled around with their parents when they moved bases - the eldest pair both came out with degrees, so moving about didn't do them any harm (the younger lot are just doing their GCSEs).

That said, many of my colleagues have put their sprogs through boarding school simply for stability and indeed, the forces help with the costs.

Welcome to RP MistressG!

In the early stages of his career there won't be a 'good' time to have a baby and be able to bank on him being at home. Later on you'll be able to plan it a little better though. It just depends on how long you want to wait for that possible 'good time' window!

So far as schooling the children is concerned it's all a matter of preference. A lot of people stay in one place and OH weekly commutes and it works just fine, others move around every 2 years, give or take. Moving affects some children educationally (and emotionally, the loss of friends every year can sometimes be quite tough on kids) but not others. It'll be a case of see how it goes and what works for you and your children.

Thank you all for your expert advice, it seems like peoples experiences are mixed but its good to hear different opinions about boarding school- my hubby went to boarding school when he was young and although I was fundamentally against it he has twisted my arm slightly- i think really its down to the child, if they are anything like me theres no way they would deal with it, if there like him they may. Keep your fingers crossed for us

Thanks again xx