RM_WAG_78

I suffer quite badly from period pains - and always have done since the age of 11. If genetics has anything to do with it I am stuck with this for the next 20 odd years as well. (My mum - early starter and late finisher - thanks!)

My dad used to have to come and pick me up from school after passing out on corridors in school...almost every month I used to lie in the nurse's room. Awful place. My dad was always my 'hero' right up to the age of 22 when I had a PhD interview at the University of Liverpool and I passed out again on the corridors there (not a great start) and my dad had to get on a train to come pick me up to drive me home. For a man my dad was brilliant with womens things - I had an Op once to investigate what was going on in there and he kept calling it my 'rebore Op'.

I digress - apologies!

Today I am at home. I hate, hate , hate taking time off work... by the time you have set cover lessons and put arrangements in place I might has well have gone in. But today I got as far as outside the apartment block and had to give up. That buzzy noise that gets in the ears tells me that unless I get back indoors asap then me and the floor would be making close contact soon.
So at 0545 this morning there I am sat on the cool marble floor of my apartment building waiting for the buzzing sensation to fade... almost in tears, not from the pain as you get used to that after 20 odd years, but from the fact that even when I did manage to haul myself back up the building it would be to an empty apartment.

The OH out on a boat somewhere in the Persian Gulf playing with weapons...so no Skype either since Sunday afternoon (and even then the radio thing went and he was called away and not heard from him since..). I don't really tell him when I'm sick..-there is nothing he can do - he can't give me the hug I want or rub my back to make me feel better (he is the BEST hot water bottle in the world to lie against!) so what's the point in telling him I'm sick. Maybe I should. Maybe I should stop making myself look calm and strong and sometimes just give in to being needy and telling him yes I do feel rubbish, and yes I do need you. Fine balance. Maybe he needs to hear that.

I am doped up on painkillers - and a hot water bottle - but then I get the 'I'm too hot' sensation... will have a hot bath in a bit which works while I am in it....but as soon as I'm out of it...it starts again...
I also know it's worse this time as I'm tired, we are nearly at half term and energy has just been sapped by the little darlings I work with. I also know that leeping myself positive all the time requires a fair bit of energy as well. I am hoping a day of doing zilch will mean it's only a day off and not two.

On the plus side -only another 3 of these to get through and OH is back!!
Clearly in a pain killer haze if I'm counting how many cycles I have until he's back! Anyone else count bizarre things ???