Mrs_America

Christmas is a big deal. We all know it. Once a year, good will towards men, the whole she-bang. it even has its own theme tunes. Christmas. It's the most wonderful time of the year. Christmas in America usually means 'going home' and 'spending time with family'. And for all of us, this can complicate things. We all love our families, in theory, but the stress of the holidays combined with annual reunions... best behaviour and booze don't always make good bed fellows!

I have what I like to think of as two huge families. My parents divorced when I was 19; there is my father's family, outside Chicago, and my mother's family in the sticks in Tennessee. My father is one of six children, I have 5 aunts and 5 uncles on that side of the family. They all have 2 or 3 kids, who are now adults like me with their own two or three (or in Tyson's case, 4!) kids each. My father remarried, I have a step mother and two step sisters. And there's crazy old Grandpa, too. Big family. My mother is one of 5 children; in Tennessee I have three aunts and three uncles, they all have their swarm of children and a few grandchildren. And there are still my grandparents. Again, a big family. I'm one of four. My big brother and his Fiancée live in Seattle, my sister lives in Texas, my little brother is at Uni in Tennessee.

Christmas reunions are few and far between. This is not to say that I haven't spent a family Christmas every year of my life, because I have. Every year, until I got married, I spent Christmas Eve in a room with my sister demanding I tell her a story. Every Christmas morning (right up into my twenties!), my sister and brothers and I would sneak out of our rooms and creep down to sit on the bottom stair and look at the pretty lights of the tree shining on the paper of the packages beneath it, and on the glinting ribbon sticking out of our stockings, waiting for us at the chimney breast (American thing). We had to wait until 8 am for mommy to get up, and daddy to make coffee, before we could go in and touch things and open things and celebrate. Each family Christmas was wonderful.

But we grow up, don't we, and move away and get married and do new things.

My first British Christmas I had only been married a month. I thought I would cry from homesickness and missing my family, all day. I was worried I would ruin his Christmas. We were in his parents' home, there were strange things like mince pies and trifles everywhere. Nothing was familiar. But then, Christmas morning came and Santa had been! He filled my stocking but left it on the foot of the bed (British thing). And from the moment I woke up in bed with my husband, I was happy. Happy to be near him, happy to be with his parents in their home, sharing their memories and traditions. I did cry that day, but only because my husband had thought to give me the gift of sponsoring a Great Dane rescue charity. I love dogs, have always had them, danes are my favorite, but we can't have dogs and I miss them. What a lovely gift!

My godmother sent me a lovely Christmas card this year, saying she hopes that my mother comes to visit so I can have my family around me at Christmas. My reaction was, but I AM home, and I DO have family all around me. I have my husband and two adoring parents who love us both. I can't imagine three people who I love more- even mom, Ramona and Felix would have to tie.

We all put so much pressure on ourselves to have magical family Christmases. I do too. No fighting with the in-laws, observe all the family traditions that my family over the pond are doing, observe all the family traditions I signed up for when I married a Brit. Be the perfect daughter, the perfect wife, the perfect auntie (There's a new role!)- write out all the Christmas cards heading across four continents. Christmas, the ultimate Domestic Engineer Challenge. Don't dry your turkey, remember to set fire to the dessert. I can't imagine how much harder it is for all you mummies out there, doing all this with diapers and bottles and the belief of the innocent to contend with as well.

Family Christmases are priceless and wonderful. But they are special for reasons like this one, this year- our soldier has been away for 9 months this year, what with one training and another. We have missed him. We feel so blessed to have him home in good health, so we can all four of us wake up in the same house on Christmas morning and know that we all love each other, and want the others to be happy, not just Christmas Day but every day.

Without turkey and baubles and gift wrap, with nothing more than carols we sing, this Christmas would be precious. We are blessed to also have the extras. And I am so grateful to be home for the holidays, with my family.

Merry Christmas y'all.