CK

Saturday

What a day! Started out as one that could have been absolutely horrendous, and turned into quite the dog fight

I was up stupidly early - considering that I have finally, just this week, managed to battle the insomnia That in itself is a J O Y! Had three nights' sleep of a decent amount (average 6 hours) so either I'm getting used to Mr CK being away OR I am just so goddamned tired that body has said "put a cork in it, and put your head on the pillow" . Personally, I think it's the latter, and the fact that I'm back at home, know I don't have to go anywhere for a goodly while, and can settle back into the New Year, New Me, thing.

It started yesterday, the CK transformation. I chopped my hair off. Lots of it. The dogs didn't recognise me when I came home and good job I'd stopped to get them some doggie chocs out of the car because I was in danger of being growled at for a considerable amount of time. However, I must smell familiar as they did finally relent - either that or dogchocs did the trick. Girl dog is such a fat-arse…
I do have to say that if anyone is flirting with the idea of doing something drastic, then I suggest starting with the hair. I keep trying to convince people it’s a good idea, and have been toying with the idea of lopping it all for a while. It’s made me feel fantastic - hairdresser is nothing short of a genius, I love her and if I were lesbian, I’d marry her so I could get free hair-dos and have her mess about with my hair all the time. I do love it It's all part of the "surprise the hell out of the hubby when he returns" plan, and so far, I think I'm onto a winning start. That, and I've dyed the grey hairs out of my prematurely whitening head with some pillarbox red stripes and dark chocolate. I love it. Sounds bloody awful now I‘m writing it down eh? Fortunately, I don't look like Dennis the Menace (though it's close...and boy dog is definitely taking on the persona of Dennis's dog) Gnasher) or even a black jack, but it's a close call! Operation New Wife Scares Hubby is now GO!

Anyhoo, it's a nice change and although I've tried to tie my hair back/take it out of my face about a gazillion times in the past 24 hours, I'm sure I'll get used to it. Wasn't ready for the shock of waking up this morning, though, as I looked a bit like this, but with a pink headband and much better jimjams on, when I got out of bed.

Had a bit of a mental moment tonight when I was driving home (more in a bit about where I've been) as I had a sinking feeling in my stomach that it's been a while since Mr CK has been able to phone, and what with no email either, I thought "oh Christ...what if something's happened to him?" and that made the drive back from Milton Keynes seem all the longer. These irrational little attacks, whilst I will not admit to many and even less so on here that often, DO happen, hence the inclusion of the thought today. Have to prove that I am just human - and not superhuman after all….

Sensible CK said "stupid woman, you're tired, you've had a bit of a trial today and you just miss him; that's fine, so stop being stupid" and nutty-CK was laughing at the irrational CK for being a moron.



However, I berated myself loudly in the car for thinking such rubbish. People thought I was singing - or gesticulating at them (for which I don’t apologise because the farking middle lane drivers need SHOT!) Oh people who drive in the middle lane when there is NOTHING in the inside lane grip my shit! Being tired made my level of tolerance dissipate to less than my usual 10% of normal; the dogs were cowering in the back seat pretending to be asleep whilst I ranted at the cnuts who needed how to learn to fecking bas.ard drive you bunch of…. You get the picture. I’m such a sweet tempered driver…no hint of road rage at all. But I want that bazooka on the front of my car, as previously mentioned, and blow them all to hell. MY road.

Yes, multiple personalities are developing nicely, but this is no news to you all. If you've read any of my warblings, you'll know my head bounces around from idea to idea, without any real trail of conscious thought. I am capable of it, but I just prefer not to on here That's my reasoning and that's the end of it.

Anyhoo. Was on my way to visit my friend in hospital - who is very, very poorly but conscious, and her babies are fine (beautiful too, from the photos) - and ended up picking up one of the Arrsers enroute to an impromptu lunch meeting with 2 other Arrsers who were meeting in Cambridge. Hell, it was on my way. I had the dogs with me - Chaos and Mayhem - and they met Pip, the Wonder Dog. He is a cute little bundle of stinky ginger fluff, it’s true, and also totally crap and whiny. But he’s still cute (have to say this or Sluggy might find me and hurt me…). He is, in all fairness, a lovely dog…but here’s where the dog-fight comes into play.

Upon leaving the pub, obviously one was totally sober, with 2 Arrsers in the back, with two drooly and over-friendly dogs (one licked an eyeball of one of the Arrsers, the other smacked the other Arrser in the pods - now who says you can’t train a dog? ) and one Pip and a Sluggy in the front. Girl dog was after a bit of Pip-loving for a while, trying to claw her way through to the front seat of a once-pristine automobile whilst yours truly was trying desperately to find her way to the train station and not try and keep changing gear with girl dog’s face. Interestingly enough , I don’t suggest you try it. She’s worse at directions than I am…

Dropped off one Arrser at train station, headed to Sluggy’s place of residence and let the dogs out “for a run” (a wee and hopefully a crap on MOD property…but they totally disappointed me on that one) Pip was being friendly enough, as were mine, for a change, when Pip suddenly decided that he didn’t like the over-amorous attentions of Female dog and decided to growl at her. Big mistake, as they say in Pretty Woman, HUGE. Mine don’t like being growled at…and both went “al ataque” - on the attack.
Dog Fight.
Pip was sat on. By two rather heftier pooches, and poor wee lad was pinned to the ground. The biting of the ear came later - after much growling by Pip at mine who were trying to be mates - and yes, I felt awful. They got there in the end and “kind of” made friends where mine would look at him and try and lick his nose when he whined, which made him growl or bark, which in turn led to more sitting on and slobbering on. Pip got a boxer bath! Poor lad…drool everywhere.

Twas a good Saturday, all told, considering I knew seeing my mate in such a state wasn’t going to be a good thing, it was lovely to have the company of some fellow lunatics - and 3 dogs - for distraction!

Note: no real harm came to any animals, and Sluggy/Dale is still talking to me. I think



©CK2009