_pj_

trying not to freak out, not long till he leaves. no one even mentioning it, my sister tells me they are all talking about it when i'm not around wandering how we're coping and how we will cope etc but no one has actually asked me.. (even my sis after telling me all this..)
i dont want to stress and complain about it to people though, want him to see me staying positive. feeling quite stupid about it tbh, i dont really want to talk about it but would quite like them to ask me if i'm ok.

last night his mum was talking about what happens to say goodbye on the day, and we set up the armynet and ebluey accounts today... maybe slightly premature but nice to feel prepared. had his farewell party with the boys from home the other day. slightly rowdy, almost got a £100 fine for excessive noise (before 11pm?!), but best to leave in style hey!

trying to stay calm and keep positive but feeling very wobbly at the moment. i guess thats why rp is so useful as i can admit to not handling things very well on here and not worry about knock on effects of people worrying about me, coz i hate that feeling that people are worrying and walking on eggshells around you if they know you're not having a good time. i can come on here and say yes, i am freaking out just a little bit and its all good

i think its the countdown that is stressing me out a bit, its been such a long time coming and i kind of just want him to go so that he's closer to coming back if that makes sense..

been planning parcel ideas etc to keep my mind occupied though which is making me quite excited in a weird way.. and thinking about the positives. more time to work. more time to see my friends. keeeep convincing......