_pj_

So OH goes off in September, and the pre deployment talks are going on at the moment. There was one last Wednesday which i said i was going to go to and OH basically talked me out of it, saying that I didn't need to bother and it was a hassle for me to get to camp and that all the info is sent in pre-deployment packs anyway and he didn't know how it worked from me getting in to camp etc etc.
I tried to keep saying I wanted to go until I realised he wasn't really coming round to the idea. I confronted him later on, he said he had spoken to a corporal and he had said his missus never goes as they send all the info out and he had said that I shouldn't bother going.. Fair enough, but I think I should have been given the option..

I found my self getting quite upset about it and I don't really know why. I think its because I had split the next few months into stages in my head, events that were going to happen in the lead up to him going away and as each one gets ticked off then he's a bit closer going, I guess to try and rationalise it.
1.finish my exams, 2.pre deployment talk, 3.work experience placement, 4.his 3 week leave, 5.back to uni, 6. he leaves.
It's funny though because it wasnt till i was trying to work out why I was getting upset about not going to the talk that I realised that that was what I was doing.. funny how your brain does things and you don't even realise....

Well now I'm heading off on 2 weeks work experience to the west of scotland and he turns round and says 'my mum thinks it would be a good idea if you went with her and dad and (his brother) on thursday'. if i do go it means trekking across Scotland back to edinburgh and then down to gala where the talk is on thursday. he's almost acting like he actually quite wants me to go, which I think is slightly unfair seeing as the talk last wednesday thats half an hour from the flat would have been ideal..

So I'll work out the logistics and try and get to gala next thursday even if it will be about a five hour round trip.. i think he's a bit confused about the whole thing at the moment. one minutes he wants us to act like we don't care and aren't phased about him going, he'll brush questions from his mum away or whatever, and now he really wants me to go with them..
it's probably a bit of a reflexion on how he's feeling about going away I guess. especially as i'm away a lot at the moment, trying to get all my visiting friends and my little holiday and work experience out the way as early as possible in the summer so i'm around for the whole of august and september until he goes.. he's missing me a lot more than he used to if we had some time apart but I guess thats natural.

Just can't wait for his 3 weeks leave when we can just chill out going to visit my parents in AD so if we don't actually melt then that should be nice, they're going to treat us to a few nights in some cool resort in the desert somewhere. slightly surreal that we're spending our holiday 2 countries away from where he's going to be but it s pretty jammy holiday so can't complain too much!

well anyway, enough of all that. gotta go get packed for 2 weeks of being eaten by midgies in argyll.. yaay